Breastfeeding advice

I agree with Marla and think that book is one of the worst things that new parents can read. I hide it behind other books at bookstores when I am in the parenting section.

Sally!


There are many, many better choices than Babywise.

[BonBon]

Sally, you are killing me!!!

I've never read Babywise, I have been warned away from it by many, many people. I should check it out of the library just to see what is in it.

Personally, I hated the "What to expect" book. I think they inspire paranoia and I already had enough of that without feeling guilty about what I was eating, etc.

Marla, I totally agree with you about nursing/feeding on demand. One of my DH's partners had a new baby a few weeks before we did - and at 6 weeks they decided to make him sleep through the night by CIO. Do I need to mention that the little guy screamed? (These are wonderful people, btw, I just do not agree with that approach AT ALL)

I got lucky with Big G...he started sleeping though the night at 7 weeks.

I read Babywise and thought it was awful. I agree, there is something wrong when the goal six weeks after a baby is born is to get the parent's life back to normal. I wanted to yell the entire time I was reading the book. I can't imagine letting DD (or any other baby for that matter) cry for food at six weeks old, and not give it to her. It makes me very sad just to think about it.

Anyway, DH suggested I re-sell the book (which a friend gave to us), and I refused because I didn't want to be any part of someone else thinking Ezzo was on to something. And I think its a good idea to hide the books in bookstores. :>

Gosh, I guess I definitely won't be buying Babywise! One of my husband's partners actually recommended that book to him the other day and told him that I HAD to read it. Having the goal of getting your life back to normal in 6 weeks??? It seems like having that sort of an unrealistic goal might just send a new parent into a depression.

[SueC]

My sentiments exactly on Babywise! I can't imagine being so rigid with a brand new baby! I know this is overly simplistic, but I think there is a lot to be said for going off of your instincts. I think it's good to consult with friends, family, books over parenting issues but you'll never find a comprehensive guide that will give you all of the answers.

[Phoebe]

I kind of feel threatened by my comment about the nurse telling me babies generally eat every two hours translating into the "Babywise" method. I wasn't promoting Babywise. Of course you would feed your child if he/she was hungry. I was relating what had been told to me as a new mother and it was something that helped me. Obviously everyone has their own opinion, but I still feel attacked whether people meant toward me or not.

Jennifer

[Rapunzel]

I honestly don't know how the book Babywise got into the thread (I didn't read anyone recommending it, especially Jennifer, - maybe I missed something?) but I have already expressed some strong, negative feelings in the past on that particular method of dealing with babies and small children.

Anyway, I'm going to be a broken record and put a plug in for Le Leche League!

Jennifer

Jennifer -- As a responder re: Babywise, please let me extend my apologies. I was not thinking ofyour post about feedings when I made my statement about Babywise. I saw the Babywise comments as one the fairly common tangents that spring from threads.

I would define my bf style as demand feeding, but I did rely on a 2-3 hour time between feedings as a guideline and found that was a reasonable expectation with both kids. Those early post-partum days sort of blended together a la Groundhog Day and the only way I kept track of things was writing them down -- like the last time the baby fed, # of wet diapers, etc. If I realized it had been about 2 hrs since the last feeding, I knew that meant I needed to gear up and grab my nursing stuff and find a comfy spot. I didn't do this as much with my second and could never answer the peds questions re: # of feedings/day, wet diapers/day nearly as well.

[PrincessFiona]

re: the co-sleeping...we coslept with all of our kids...it is very common in europe...some there believe it lowers the risk of SIDS (who knows).

At the end of the day, we all just have do do what works for us, I think. I'm a light sleeper, try not to booze it up too much when I'm nursing :> (just kidding) and am careful....It's sad that that happened...but I have to admit that if we had another...I'd cosleep again. 8)

My comments about 'Babywise' were not directed at you either, Jennifer. I didn't even realize you said anything remotely related to the book.

I also heard and read that 2-3 hours between feedings is a good guideline to follow for feeding a baby, and I found it very useful. I think Babywise takes this guideline and makes it into a strict rule, and my problem with that is that babies (at least mine) are not always on a schedule you can get out of a book. Every baby is different, every day is different, and every feeding is different. It sounds like you and I breastfed in much of the same way, using the 2-3 hours as a simple guideline and nothing else. Its what worked for DD and I, and like someone else said, you have to do what works for you.

[mommax3]

Jennifer,

I certainly didn't think about "Babywise" after reading your post. I posted about it in response to Marla's comments (the post after yours). I didn't see her post as a response to yours at all, just as another piece of advice to new parents. I'm sorry if you felt attacked!

I think the nurse who told you "every two hours" was wise because a lot of people have a mindset that it is every three or four hours, which was never the case with my newborns!

Sally

[SueC]

Me neither Jennifer--I think the 2 hour thing is a pretty good guideline to go by. It always amazed me in those first few weeks just how quickly my 2 hour "break" would fly by!

[HeartRN]

Jennifer-- I'm so sorry if you thought my comment about "Babywise" was directed to you! That's the thing I hate about typing, you never completely know exactly what the other person means secondary to typing being totally void of the little extras found in live conversation (like timing and voice intonation!) I completely agree that a couple hours between feedings is totally cool.....it's just the whole rigid schedule-for-the-teeny-tiny-baby-thing (as advocated in "Babywise") with which I completely disagree.

[HeartRN]

And I was the one who mentioned "Babywise"...but it really was just meant to be another tidbit of advice for new moms (to proceed with caution when reading ANY book about parenting is wise, anyhow!) Sue, I thoroughly second your rationale behind using your intuition/common sense! Sorry again if my comments proved offensive to anybody.

[houseelf]

and now to take this to a totally different direction, I thought of another lil' nugget of advice.

Early pacifier use is controversial amongst BF advocates. When I say I gave both my kids pacifiers early on, this was after a minimum of 45 minutes nursing. Otherwise, my kids would hang on me all day long like barnacles on a whale, my nipples would crack, and then the bf relationship would probably end early.

Oh yeah, I have co-slept w/o any nest or other implement with both of my kids. I sleep with them right up against me on my side so that I can feel them. It is almost like being pregnant. I fear the kids falling off the bed or between the wall more than rolling over on them. I love the physical closeness but I do fear the warnings, along with the 10,000 other parenting warnings. It is enough to make me crazy. I say all of this and yet I still go in and check to see that my almost 5 year old is still breathing at night sometimes.

Other advice- drink lots of water and make sure that you practice some amount of bottle feeding or you'll have a little one like mine who puts up a damn good fight everytime I have to leave her. It makes everyone miserable when she has to take a bottle. If we ever have another, s/he will take the bottle at two weeks and at least twice a week thereafter to ensure that Mom can get a break occasionally.

Kelly