what do you think-

[houseelf]

I took my almost 5 y.o. son swimming today. (Yes, I am over-the-edge insane. It is -7 before windchill factor here). Anyway, ds and I just stripped down naked in the changing room to get in our swim gear. A lady came up to me and told me that she was so glad that another lady who had just left the room didn't say anything to me. Being the dimwit that I am, I asked this woman what the other lady would say. She said that this woman had complained the last time that she brought her 6 year old boy into the women's locker room.

I have to admit that there is a single family dressing room at this facility, but it is always full. I felt slightly indignant. Do people watch the evening news? Polly Klaus, Jacob Wetterling, Adam Walsh....

It would be different if he was a couple years older, but at this age, he could care less. It would also be different if he had some brothers to go with him into the boys' locker room.

Am I totally off base here? Have I breached social norms? Regardless, ds will continue to go to the women's bathroom with me as long as I can convince him to do so. Please set me straight if I'm off my rocker here.

Kelly

[PrincessFiona]

Hey Kelly...it was -42 up here with the wind chill this morning. School was postponed for two hours. As I sit typing, it is -23 with the wind chill...CRAZY, MAN! CRAZY!

Speaking of crazy, that woman is nuts...if anyone said anything to me I'd tell him to go jump in the pool and to bite me. :> I have passed the point of caring. If it bothers her, tell her to get undressed in the bathroom stall or something...good lord...people need to get a grip.

[mommax3]

That lady would have been WAY out of line saying anything to you, both because it was none of her business AND because it would be inappropriate for you to send Cade in the mens' locker room by himself. Keep doing what you are doing.....you and you alone get to decide when it is time for him to stop coming in the ladies' locker room with you.

Sally

[DCJenn]

I'm all for the "bite me" approach.

and what would she have thought if it had been your husband and daughter (which, hopefully, once Sean finishes his 35 year long educational journey will happen too!)

People are so f-ing wierd about nekkedness in this country. It's fine to have Janet Jackson bare her tit, it's fine to show more T & A on the pro football cheerleaders than I'll ever show...it's fine to allow the idiots on MTV not only be nearly nekked, they're nearly nekked in really ugly clothes... but it's not fine for a mom to take her son in to the locker room? Ok, Kelly, here's a rule for you- stop taking him in the locker room when he starts telling you whose got a better butt, you or the lady next to you.

Jenn

I don't think you are totally off base. If I were you, there is NO way I would send him into the men's locker room alone. I like Jenn's rule!

I think that the fitness center I used to go to had a rule that kids 5 and over not of the same sex had to use the family locker room (with mom or dad). But they had 4 family rooms.

[Phoebe]

Not off base in my opinion. I had a similar thing happen to me last week taking Avery to a YMCA swim class. We aren't members of this place, but many of our neighbors are. All the locker rooms are right in a row. Except kids aren't allowed at all in the men's or women's locker rooms as it clearly states on the door. I walked in the women's locker room holding my 15 month old daughter to find a drinking fountain since she had thrown up. A women stopped me and said, "Aren't you looking for the family locker room. You aren't supposed to have kids in here." I said, "I am looking for a drinking fountain." She said, Well there isn't one in here and you aren't supposed to drink the water (due to flooding) and you aren't supposed to have kids in here". I felt beside myself that I got chewed out for having a same sex baby in the locker room.

Lighten up people!

[HeartRN]

I don't have an issue with it, either.....however, at our gym, there are signs posted everywhere that any child of opposite sex older than 3 has to change in alternate areas (instead of female locker room). They then list the areas, which seemed reasonable enough, I guess...

I would not want ANY 5 year old boy to go into a locker room by himself let alone my own son!! I agree that people are way too ridiculous about being naked in this country. These people need to get over themselves, if someone is staring at them then they should be pleased that they have something great to look at!

If I were you and someone said something to me about it I would tell them to buzz off and the ask them, "would YOU send a child into a men's locker room by himself??? And look at them with disgust like THEY are perverts and should be ashamed at themselves for even thinking that you shouldn't be in there with your child!

Jlynnb!!! I CAN'T believe that ridiculous woman at the YMCA!!! What a horrible B%^#%!!!

[SueC]

Nope, you're not off base. If my dh was taking my 5 year old girl swimming, he would never send her into the women's dressing room alone. And Jennifer, I can't believe somebody had the nerve to stop you from taking a 15 month old baby in the locker room. People are nuts!

[Rapunzel]

I agree with all of the above. A five year old boy does not belong in a locker room by hiimself. AND I think it's a bit sick if adult women are thinking a child that young (barely out of babyhood for crying out loud!) is thinking overtly sexual thoughts while they change clothes in front of him!

On a tangent:

Most of the places I go with my children do not have family restrooms. Your choices are Ladies' or Men's. So, if my husband isn't with me my 8 year old son goes into the ladies' room with me. I will NOT leave an 8 year old child alone in a mall or large retail store while I am out of sight and hearing. I haven't heard a complaint yet, but if (or when) I do my response I imagine will be along the lines of, "And, if I leave him out in the mall alone someone like you would call CPS." I'd rather have my child safe (and have everyone else in the universe know I was keeping him safe) than bend to the pressure of some complete stranger.

Jennifer

[PrincessFiona]

I'm all for the "bite me" approach.

People are so f-ing wierd about nekkedness in this country.

True story...when I was studying at college in germany one of my friends was a graduate student (so she was about 25 and I was 22). We went to her house for the holidays and she took a shower upstairs in her parents bathroom while I was talking with her mom and dad in the living room. A few minutes later, she walked out with nothing but a towel on her HEAD and carried on a conversation with her dad while I picked my chin up off of the floor. :! I could NOT believe it and I later proceeded to have what I thought was a sophisticated talk with her about appropriate boundaries...to which she laughed and said "americans"

[BonBon]

Kris, WOW is all I have to say. I like to think that I'm not prudish but...maybe I am!

Kelly, you are so *not* off base. There are a lot of sucky people out there, as is evidenced by Jenn's(jlynn) experience.

Jenn(jloreine), I love your rule! He better give the right answer too!

[Sheherezade]

I still take my 8 year old in with me to women's restrooms in "questionable" places--rest stops on the highway, malls, etc. Luckily that doesn't happen often. He goes in by himself to men's rooms only if they are single occupant rooms and I have cleared the room before he enters. Then, I stand outside. I feel like a secret service agent......it is so much easier when my husband is with us. My son is uncomfortable with women's changing rooms now so if we are alone we change in the car or just make do with wet clothing (only in warm weather!!!). Am I paranoid? The world is a freaky place. I personally have NO problem with kids in the changing rooms until they hit puberty--even then, honestly I think I could get over it . I think if you polled modern day mothers you would find this is the norm.

Incidentally, there was a story in Boston a few years ago about a local controversy over older (like 70) Russian people changing into their swimsuits on the beach. People were so up in arms they wanted No Nudity signs posted in Russian. The children of these older Russians thought the Americans were nuts. I have to agree. Come on--I just don't see getting so worked up over some exposed flesh. It's not like the people are giving lap dances already..... Also, my Swedish friend's daughter (2) gave me a Swedish book to read to her one day. I couldn't read it--it was Swedish--but I was going to try and make the story up. Turns out all the characters were naked. Completely anatomically accurate with pubic hair. Apparently it was some book about the body and that everyone is the same under their clothes. It did surprise me. I felt like a complete junior high kid---"Look at that-teehee!!!!" . So much for my maturity. Here, Barbie has on plastic underpants.....

Angie

Kelly, I think you are totally right for doing what you did. A few years ago in California there was a boy, I think around 8 or 10 years old, who was killed inside a restroom at a beachside campground. His aunt walked him to the restroom and was waiting outside the door for him. A homeless man was hiding inside the restroom and slit the boy's throat. It was such a tragic story. We live in such a scary world and just can't take any chances.

[HeartRN]

That was an AWFUL thing that happened..I think it was CA. Yes, people do need to get over seeing a little bit of flesh!

I'm still laughing at Kris' story!!! :@