Selfishness

[SueC]

We've entered a new, exciting stage with our 5 year old. She has become really selfish with her sister, luckily she doesn't seem to be this way around friends at school or our neighborhood friends. I find that I'm breaking up fight after fight due to my 5 year old telling my 3 year old "I'm not going to share X with you...". Sydney, who still has limited verbal skills and a low frustration tolerance, ends up resorting to hitting or screaming. Aside from giving praise when she does share, and encouraging Syd to find something else to do, I'm not sure what else I can do. A friend who has children around the same age as mine, makes her kids share all of their toys, and they really don't take "ownership" over anything. I'm a little hesitant to do that, it seems like they should have some of their own stuff. Especially since they share a room. How do you guys handle this issue, especially with two who are close in age?

[Meenah]

My girls were 1 1/2 years apart. If they couldn't share and a fight developed, the one who it belonged to (and wouldn't share) was welcome to take whatever the toy was to her room and play all by herself with it!!!!
Luanne

I'm worried about this issue with my little guy when the new baby comes...I had a friend visit last week who has a 9-month old and Ethan did not respond well to sharing his toys. There were items that Ethan hasn't paid attention to in MONTHS, but as soon as this little boy expressed interest in something, Ethan would rush over, take it away from him and walk away. I couldn't believe it! He's had problems with being "gentle" to the infants in his daycare class just because he doesn't understand that they're not "big" like him--but am I going to need a helmet for his sister when she comes home from the hospital? Or will it be different because it's his sister?

[SueC]

My girls were both very gentle with any new baby--my oldest was 20 months old when the second was born and she accepted her fine. When the third baby came along they were 4 and 2.5 and both handled that OK as well. It helps that the baby is sort of a blob that won't try to play with their toys. Mitchell at 9 months is still pretty endearing to the girls, though I'm sure now that he is mobile and will start to mess up their stuff things could change pretty soon.
I'll have to try your suggestions guys, though I'll have to modify yours Luanne since my girls share a room that doubles as their playroom!