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Adoption Update

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  • Adoption Update

    For those of you who are following the saga of Nikolai...

    As you may recall, we went to Russia the first week of December and met a 10 month old baby boy named Nikolai. We petitioned to adopt him and proceeded home to attend to the various paper requirements that had to be completed for the second trip. Meanwhile, back in Russia, the Duma (their Congress) began debating legislation to eliminate some of the income restructions and home size requirements that are in place for Russian Nationals, in order to attract more people to adoption. (There is still a huge bias against adoption there) A second snag was that the Duma decided that the children needed to stay on the National Databank (the listing of available children) for three more months (for a total of 6 on the national list), also to encourage more people to adopt- theoretically "increasing the pool" available to Russian families prior to these kids being allowed to be adopted by Foreign Nationals. Putin signed the legislation on to law on January 11. The regions also have databases and most kids are placed on the regional lists first, then the national list. They can be on the lists concurrently but that apparently rarely happens. Why this matters is that the courts can't schedule dates for adotpions until they have received the letter from the MOE in Moscow stating that the child has been on the national databank for the appropriate length of time and is therefore officially free to be adopted (by a foreign family- any Russian family can adopt any kid at any time, even kids who have been identified by other foreign families for adoption- They trump all) (or of ANY family member shows up the kids are no longer adoptable. (within a year- so there are kids whose parents show up once or twice a year to visit and then leave again)

    So- (are you all still with me? because this is where it gets kind of complicated) Concurrently, the Russian government decided to move the National Ministry of Education from one department to another (to essentially the equivalent of our Dept of Health and Human Services) and also, many of the adoption agencies accreditation with Russia has expired or will expire (our agency has their accreditation through the end of April, thankfully) and it's illegal for Russia to use nonaccredited agencies. AND, because of the move of the MOE (physically they moved, too) it took them a few weeks to get their offices set up. AND the person who apparently used to issue the letters left. AND our state department has (obviously, welcome Dr. Rice) undergone several key personnel changes recently and the person who was the one responsible for monitoring adoptions etc. for Russia left on January 7.

    Whew. So- as of last week we knew nothing- we didn't know whether Nikolai had to stay on the list for three more months, we didn't know if the MOE was even going to issue letters at all while the changes were happening, we didn't know whether due diligence had been completed and all family members were either OK that he's going to be adotped or they were unable to be located, etc....

    I have been a wreck, needless to say. Finally, we have heard that our release letter from Moscow is on it's way to Perm (the regional city), that the orphange director has ensured that no family will show up to snatch him, and there has been no interest from any Russian family. Our agency said yesterday that we could have a court date as early as the last week in February.

    Think positive thoughts!!!

    Jenn

    PS- Now I get to stress over where I'm going to come up with $12,000 dollars more to pay the fees in Russia, plus the airfare and other travel costs. (having already spent $4000 for the adoption agency here, $2800 on the first set of tickets, $600 dollars for the hotel and god knows how many dollars in paperwork fees and miscellaneous expenses)

  • #2
    Whew, it's nervewracking just reading that--you are supermom for going through it.

    Speedy travels to Perm, little release letter! And here's to an early court date!
    Married to a hematopathologist seven years out of training.
    Raising three girls, 11, 9, and 2.

    “That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect.”
    Lev Grossman, The Magician King

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    • #3
      Wow! Sending positive thoughts your way so the letters get where they should and you can get that baby home!
      Awake is the new sleep!

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      • #4
        You, Rick and little Nikolai have been and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there. What a brutal process this has been!

        Sally
        Wife of an OB/Gyn, mom to three boys, middle school choir teacher.

        "I don't know when Dad will be home."

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        • #5
          I wish you the best!!!!! It won't be long and your family will be all under one roof.
          Luanne
          Luanne
          wife, mother, nurse practitioner

          "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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          • #6
            I'll keep my fingers crossed too and marvel at your own "labor and delivery" story!!!

            Mine was MUCH easier than your story and my kids were OVER 9 pounds!!

            Good luck!!!!!
            Flynn

            Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

            “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

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            • #7
              Hang in there....I've been wondering about the latest with your little guy.....sending my warmest thoughts your way!

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              • #8
                What idiot ever said that adoption was the "easy way out?"

                Jenn, what an awful experience. I have got all my fingers and toes crossed for you, Rick, and Nikolai. Here's to a speedy adoption!

                (within a year- so there are kids whose parents show up once or twice a year to visit and then leave again)
                My heart breaks for these children. I cannot fathom how a parent could do that.

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                • #9
                  Good luck to all of you, I'll be thinking good thoughts for you. After all you've gone through to get this little guy, you're going to be such great parents and someday Nikolai will know how lucky he is that you fought so hard for him.
                  ~Jane

                  -Wife of urology attending.
                  -SAHM to three great kiddos (2 boys, 1 girl!)

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                  • #10
                    Go Jenn Go...Go Jenn Go.....I'm crossing my fingers and my toes for you guys....You have sure had a long labor!

                    kris
                    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                    • #11
                      Keep us posted Jenn! I'm crossing my fingers, too, that the rest of the adoption process will go by smoothly.

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                      • #12
                        Yikes! That would just about drive me crazy. Here's to a speedy process and a kick in the pants of bureaucracy.

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                        • #13
                          That's another thing I'd do with my "Warren Buffet" hundreds of millions: Pour buckets of cash into getting adoption laws in the U.S., at least, easier to maneuver (and, I'd pay the $12,000+ you need for the next stage in this adoption, Jenn).

                          I can't imagine the stress....

                          Jennifer
                          Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
                          With fingernails that shine like justice
                          And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

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                          • #14
                            Good luck!! Thanks for keeping us updated.

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                            • #15
                              GOOD LUCK!!! I can't believe everything you have had to go through!! I was so scared reading your post, thinking at first that you were going to say that it was all off.
                              How in the WORLD do you instantly come up with $12,000 ??? You are truly an incredible person! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!! Here's to a speedy mail system to get that letter!!

                              Jen B.

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