extended b'fing

Has anyone here BFed their child for longer than 18 months? I always intended to BF (had a great support system from my husband and family - my mom BFed all 3 of us for 18mths, 12mths, and 9mths, respectively) but my only realistic goal was one year. Well, who knew that my daughter would be such a milk addict. She is now 20mths old and really shows no signs of wanting to wean anytime soon. Honestly, I would like to have her weaned by her 2 year birthday but I'm willing to take the 4 months to do it gradually. Ironically, my husband is OK with this and he was sort of at first. My mom, however, thinks it is really weird. She keeps telling me that it is time to stop and I don't want to nurse a 4 year old on the way to preschool, etc. I really don't get it and it is definitely affecting our relationship. She was such a cheerleader in the beginning and even may have been the reason for me going on so long (she used to say "oh, you can BF her for as long as you both want. . .you can go until 2 years. . .) So why the change of heart? I'm so frustrated and I don't know what to do. We're going to spend 2.5 weeks with her next month and I already feel stressed about it.

Our other issue is that she seems to think that my daughter takes up too much of my time. Maybe I am too over-involved but she is a toddler! If I try to read a book in the same room with her, she wants to read it as well, kwim?! It is *very* difficult to get anything done during the day that doesn't involve her in some aspect! My mom comes from the "children our seen and not heard" culture and I have to admit that my husband and I aren't quite practicing this belief (don't get me wrong - she is very well-behaved but we like to do things *with* her!) So this is another point of both spoken and unspoken tension between us.

Anyway, just rambling. Any random thoughts are appreciated.

[Phoebe]

I think you should do whatever is right for you and your daughter. Don't let yourself feel judged by others opinions when it comes to making decisions for your family. That being said, I understand that it can be hard to be around someone like your mom whose opinion is probably very important to you when she may disagree with your choices.

If it is uncomfortable being at her house when your ideas differ, can you communicate ahead of time about your uneasiness? Maybe confronting her will relieve tension before your trip. I don't think you should ever question spending lots of time with your daughter! She is a lucky girl!

Jennifer

P.S. Toddlers are supposed to take up lots of your time! If they were full functional, they wouldn't be toddlers! Tell your mom to talk to you when your daughter leaves for college!

[Meenah]

If your Mom has a problem, can you postpone your trip? Be assured the problem is hers not yours. You and your daughter are very lucky.
Luanne

[twinsmom]

When I had my first, the pediatritian had a little boy who was just under 2 (I think about 22 months), and she was still nursing him - her hubby would bring him to work for her to nurse. She was an incredible doctor, and she assured me that breastfeeding for the first 2 years is GREAT!!

I wouldn't be concerned at all - I would have gone longer with my kids, but they both kind of weaned themselves around 1 1/2 yrs. I agree that it is hard to deal with someone as important to you as your mom when her ideas are different in this aspect. I second the idea to talk to her about your concerns before you even get out there so that she knows how uncomfortable her comments are making you.

Good luck and let us know how the trip goes!!

Jen B.

[mommax3]

My middle son nursed until he was 22 months old, and I don't regret a minute of it. He only nursed once or twice a day, but it was a special time for us, especially because my oldest was very demanding and nursing was one thing he couldn't intrude on! Do what is right for you and your child.

Sally

[SueC]

I've known plenty of people that nurse beyond the first year and I don't see anything wrong with it. That's odd that your mom is sensitive to your nursing your dd at 20 months, since she herself nursed a child up to 18 months! That would be kind of awkward to spend 2.5 weeks with her if she is that vocal about it--maybe you can reach some sort of agreement before you go that the subject is closed.