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Hey Jenn-
Yeah, we're concerned about attachment disorder. I was more concerned before I met him and watched him have a total stranger-anxiety realted meltdown on day one. He's formed what appear to be pretty healthy attachments to this pair of 800 year old Babushkas (who are also twins) who work in his room. The most recent set of pictures also shows the Orphanage Director cuddling with him, and he seems very relaxed in her arms. (made me jealous!)
There are some very specific things we plan on doing once we get him home though, based on what we've read and researched. One is to put him back on the bottle for all feedings, but expecially those first thing in the morning and right before bed. Several of the books have recommended using a baby Bjorn or other carrier whenever possible so that he learns to relax and be a baby. They also recommend that one parent be at home full time for a minimum of three months to facilitate the adjustment. The downside of him having formed attachments to the people at the orphanage is that he will also be mourning his former life and missing the ladies. He's not going to know that he's in a better place- he won't even understand what we're saying. The research says to kind of take them back to early infancy with how you treat them so they can experience total dependence and resultant unconditional support and love. Since he spent his first 2 months in a Russian NICU- I think that's exactly the advice we will follow.
Luckily most kids are pretty resilient. I have heard of some nightmarish AD problems, usually with older kids and the Ukraine program was suspended after it dawned on people that the only kids who were being adopted turned out to have serious mental health issues.
I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that we'll get there sometime in April.
Jenn
Yeah, we're concerned about attachment disorder. I was more concerned before I met him and watched him have a total stranger-anxiety realted meltdown on day one. He's formed what appear to be pretty healthy attachments to this pair of 800 year old Babushkas (who are also twins) who work in his room. The most recent set of pictures also shows the Orphanage Director cuddling with him, and he seems very relaxed in her arms. (made me jealous!)
There are some very specific things we plan on doing once we get him home though, based on what we've read and researched. One is to put him back on the bottle for all feedings, but expecially those first thing in the morning and right before bed. Several of the books have recommended using a baby Bjorn or other carrier whenever possible so that he learns to relax and be a baby. They also recommend that one parent be at home full time for a minimum of three months to facilitate the adjustment. The downside of him having formed attachments to the people at the orphanage is that he will also be mourning his former life and missing the ladies. He's not going to know that he's in a better place- he won't even understand what we're saying. The research says to kind of take them back to early infancy with how you treat them so they can experience total dependence and resultant unconditional support and love. Since he spent his first 2 months in a Russian NICU- I think that's exactly the advice we will follow.
Luckily most kids are pretty resilient. I have heard of some nightmarish AD problems, usually with older kids and the Ukraine program was suspended after it dawned on people that the only kids who were being adopted turned out to have serious mental health issues.
I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that we'll get there sometime in April.
Jenn
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