Working Moms

[HeartRN]

This article made me feel remarkably better about my parenting! If this spawns any debate, we can always move to the "Debate" forum

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,151565,00.html

[SuzySunshine]

I'm actually really glad this is coming up - I'm really struggling with this right now. My DH and I have always said we'd wait and I'd stay home. Maybe its just my biological clock ticking but I'm almost 29 years old and if we want me to be able to stay home we'd have to wait at least three years to get some bills paid off and money saved up. So I guess my question for both sides is if I worked while the first one was a baby and then stayed home once the second was born (probably 2-3 year later) what does that do to the children? What does that do to mental capacity of the second versus the first? I guess my logic is that by the time the child is old enough to remember my presence I'd be home.

To be honest I'm just trying to get some ideas, thoughts, etc. that I can go to my husband with. I'm ready but he's really caught on the SAHM idea because that is what he grew up with, I didn't - my mom always worked through my childhood.

Help??

I remember a few years ago seeing a program on parenting on PBS. They did a study in this one town and found that women in the 1920's, when sah was the norm, actually spent fewer one on one hours interacting with their children than your average ft working mom in the 1990's.

Cheri, I had my first at 31, and most of my friends had their kids in their late 20's to mid 30's.

Thanks for sharing this article, Marla.

My mom worked full time during my entire childhood and I don't feel like I missed out on anything. My siblings and I have a much closer relationship with my mom than my friends have with their SAHMs. And even though my aunts were all SAHMs, my cousins never really had close relationships with them.

I totally agree with the article that it's quality rather than quantity that is important. When I look back on my childhood, I think I experienced much more than my friends who had SAHMs because my mom knew just how precious our time together was and made sure the time we spent together was quality time. I remember many times when my mom would pick me up from school during her lunch break and take me on a picnic lunch. I don't remember my friends' SAH moms ever doing that. I don't think it is career choice that determines what type of mom you will be...it's how you use the time you have with your children.

[HeartRN]

Speaking of picnic lunches, I distinctly remember my mom taking me to the park and watching the ducks while we snacked after preschool (and on Mom's lunch break many times). I still have pics. As I said previously, this article made me feel so much more validated as a mom--mainly as a GOOD mom. *sigh* I know it shouldn't take something in writing to make me feel better about things lately, but man, I've felt the guilty mommy thing lately...what with all the ear infections, etc etc. I'm grasping for anything that gives me more strength these days!!!

Marla, those are such great memories! That's so neat that you have pictures, too! This post has brought up a lot of wonderful memories of my mom....I think I need to give her a call tonight!

I just wanted to add that I reread my post and realized that someone might think I have negative feelings towards SAHMs. I think SAHMs and working moms can be equally successful in parenting.