Learning Disabilities

In preschool, our eldest daughter (now 7 year old) was actively involved in everything and highly regarded by all teachers and other kids. She was bright, self confident, happy, curious and fun loving!!! In preschool she had learned to read very basic "Bob Books" and was seen as ahead of her peers in that area. In kindergarten last year, we noticed a progressive change as the year went on. She was less happy...more anxious.....and not progressing much in her beginning reading. She had friends in kindergarten who were remarkably proficient readers. We consulted with the reading specialist who told us that she was "average" and would likely catch up with more practice. They didn't know us well and asked questions like, "Do you read with her at home???" which is ridiculous as we are very into reading to our children daily and love reading ourselves and playing word games, etc. It just didn't make much sense that she would be struggling with basic skills. The wonderful teacher encouraged us to be patient and she gave Abigail lots of support and attention.

This year....first grade.....very soon, the teacher targeted her to be seen by the same reading specialist. So, then she qualified for 30 minutes of reading specialist help daily. We watched and waited and encouraged...during the first semester. We were surprised a bit to see the first report card that showed very little progress in reading and even less progress in math and writing. We met with the teacher and reading specialist...and then with the school counselor---------they asked innocent questions about whether there's been any stress at home, etc. that could be impacting her learning. Sure there's been some significant stress----but, not anything that we could imagine would impact her learning. At that point, a couple of months ago, we strongly advocated for comprehensive testing through our public school (known for its amazing special ed programs) and proceeded with the process.

Yesterday, we received the official first comprehensive report of her testing results that ended with diagnosing significant learning disabilities in reading, writing, and math, requiring special ed. services and accomodations. Tomorrow we return to the school for a big team conference to decide how to proceed with the IEP/placement options/mainstreaming/ etc.

Anyway------I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through this process here????

[DCJenn]

Not on the parenting end, but yes on the educational end, so email me if you have any specific questions- when you can come up for air.

I will tell you this: You know your daughter better than any educational psychologist and you know what motivates her (or not). They know what they have seen work and what hasn't worked with different kinds of kids. You need to make sure that they know what you know and vice versa. To be honest, in the educational system, and the disabilites industry in general, the squeaky wheel theory works. That said, a lot of special ed is guessing what will work best for your child based on professional experience. YOu need to let them know how it's working or not- but also give them freedom to experiment. Like medicine, there's nothing that's absolute.

You want the best people you can find on your team, and you need to make sure that her teachers and aides have experience dealing with her specific type of learning disability. (there are a lot)

Again, email me if you have any questions.

Jenn

PS- This totally sucks but if it helps, my job in grad school was doing IEPS for college students- so the right accomodations and your daughter can go as far as she wants to.

[PrincessFiona]

We've gone through something similar with our two oldest children...but for different reasons.

I would suggest that you should have her tested outside of the school district if you haven't already. In addition to providing a more objective analysis (sorry) a neuropsychologist will be able to do a good job of identifying specific issues...and you may be able to target treatment for her more specifically.

In addition to Title I, I'd say get some outside help. I wasn't very good at working with my daughter because we just ended up frustrated. There are plenty of independent learning centers (like Sylvan) that you could go to...For us, the financial investment has been well worth it.

These are, of course, my isolated experiences and don't necessarily have anything at all to do with your experience. Feel free to completely disregard or you are welcome to PM me.

I have to add that I have a friend whose sone is autistic..and she has used the special ed program here with great success.

Kris

Thanks Jenn for your perspective!!! As a clinical social worker, I am very familiar with how most special ed. systems work and how important it is to be a strong advocate. I spent a lot of my career advocating for other people's kids in IEP meetings and other settings........but all of the sudden I feel like everything is sort of brand new and strange...now that it's my kid.

We have been suspecting it for the past year or so...just not really sure.........hoping that testing would clarify things/rule out things/get her more help. The school and the special ed. system here in this district are both exemplary, so we feel confident in all of the professionals on our team, whom we've already seen a couple of times. Somehow though----seeing the 11 page single-spaced very comprehensive report on all of the testing they did and the final conclusions and recommendations-----well, it really hit me hard, I guess. I'm feeling scared about the meeting tomorrow, but know that it will lead to help for our daughter....worried about her being officially labeled in the system......knowing she definitely needs extra help beyond what is done in the classroom with the sensitive and experienced teacher.........just having lots of mixed feelings and worries about the future, near and distant, for her....trying not to get ahead of myself.

We knew when she was born at 33 weeks gestation, after 3 full days of labor and fetal distress followed by 30 days in the NICU-----that she may have struggles. They gave us plenty of warnings upon discharge to be on the lookout for learning problems as she grows. When we left the NICU she was put into an early intervention program where we went every 6 months for her first 2 years to assess for early signs of problems and then they kicked us out, saying she was fine...but to not hesitate seeking help if things change later.

Whatever......I guess we shall see tomorrow what the next steps are going to be. Thanks for letting me ramble. I am feeling a lot of nervous energy.

Kris,

Thanks for your input. You have had a lot to cope with over there, too. I guess the message is that a lot depends on the exact situation you end up with----some kids respond well and some kids don't...some IEPs need lots of tweaking to figure out what works best for a particular child. Luckily, this school district is known far and wide as being outstanding in special ed. I know of many parents who have taken their kids out of local private schools when they were diagnosed with a variety of learning/ behavior problems and then watched as their kids flourished here. So, I am going into this with a positive attitude that I can trust their judgement and recommendations. I know that I will need to be actively involved in the process throughout and give them feedback about what I believe works or doesn't work well for Abigail. I have a clear set of goals going into this meeting----number one, I want to make whatever transitions needed in such a way that it does not greatly disrupt her socially in the class she's already in and I want the first goal to be rebuilding school confidence along with remediating basic skills. From the tone of the report, I feel like I am in agreement with the philosophy of the school. The report recommends individual attention and makes a number of specific and personal recommendations, indicating that they are fully taking into account Abigail's learning style, weaknesses, strengths, insecurities and needs. What isn't stated is exactly how the recommendations will actually happen....how often, how long, etc???? I guess that will be better clarified tomorrow. I wish I wasn't so stressed about this whole thing. Mostly, I think I feel sad.

[PrincessFiona]

Laurel,

I understand about feeling sad. I struggled for a long time when my daughter started having her academic difficulties and we started the title I program. I searched through my brain for what could have caused it...she was born with an apgar of 3 (cord wrapped around her neck and had to be resuscitated basically). At 10 minutes she had an apgar of only 7....For months I wondered if she had brain injuries due to the delivery. Then, I moved on to feeling embarassed and ashamed that I felt embarassed and disappointed in her because I knew she couldn't help it.

We were new to the school system and I think because my oldest was struggling to adjust and I was hit with that double wammy I felt more negatively about what was going on.

Something Amanda's 1st grade teacher insisted on (that I thought was fabulous) was that she had the title I teachers come into the classroom and briefly help any child who didn't know the answer to something...then she settled down with the couple of children that she was going to help. My daughter never knew that she was getting special help!

The good news is that by getting help for her (through the school and anything else if need be) you are giving her the chance to catch up. Amanda can finally perform at an normal academic level. It has taken 3 years of intense help....but that she has to work very hard to keep it up and if she gets lazy she falls behind. Andrew on the other hand, doesn't have to work at all academically...he just breezes through school...but he will always struggle with his physical akwardness, balance and social issues. We will always have to work on it.

With the understanding that it wasn't my fault...and the realization that there is hope for them to have a normal life, I began to feel better...hopefully you will too.

As I began opening up about my concerns to others, I realized that many, many people struggle with one issue or another with their children....pick your poison, I guess. I have a friend whose 1 child is autistic and whose other child struggles with reading. A very 'popular' woman in our neighborhood has a daughter (1st grade) that simply refuses to dress like a girl. She demands short hair cuts and I literally have mistaken her for her brother on many occasions. Another person that we know has a child with crippling anxiety and social issues....these are all people that at first glance you would be embarassed or at least hesitant to discuss your own child and their issues.

You aren't alone, and there is hope that with extra help she will probably be ok. Mourn if you need to...and then embrace her where she is at....

And give yourself a hug too

kris

Thanks Kris again!!!!! I very much appreciate your kindness, insight, and hopefulness.

[Sheherezade]

Laurel-

I had a limited experience dealing with special ed services for my son. He has horrible handwriting and has been evaluated at every step of the game. We went for an IEP meeting, but decided against after testing by a team of OTs couldn't determine any particular problem. He just has lousy handwriting. Obviously, this is minor compared to the stresses you have now. Still, I wanted to share that at one particular meeting, I completely lost it. Burst into tears-demanded that they just tell me what was wrong already. Nobody could give me a straight answer, and honestly, I know that is not something that can be easily determined. Still, I was like Shirley McClaine (sp?) in Terms of Endearment screaming for pain meds for her daughter!! I was totally not cool and emotional, and that is not what I am like normally. The point? The teachers were very sympathetic and completely understood that this is an emotional issue for the parent. I don't think I was the

It is important for you to remember that you didn't do anything wrong and further, I believe, that there is nothing "wrong" with your daughter. She is different and might benefit from individualized teaching in this system. That isn't a fault. Personally I think ALL kids would benefit from more individualized teaching if it were possible. As the story goes, Edison and Einstein each had their own "learning disablitlies"; no one would suggest that they were deficient in the face of their later accomplishments. Labels may help us give each kid the education they need and deserve, but they sure do hurt in other ways. It is great that you have good specialists in your district. I hope everything turns out for you.

[Rapunzel]

I agree with you, Angie.

I have a child that fits into a category of "learning disability" we have discovered. I've decided I'm not going to label it. She does benefit greatly from one-on-one teaching (thank heavens we homeschool!) and I approach her differences as just that - differences. She doesn't fit the same learning style or even emotional style as her brother and sisters. She's got some interesting personality characteristics that would also cause her a great deal of difficulty in a cookie-cutter educational environment. But, she's a lot like Edison (whose mother was told by a teacher that he was uneducatable which prompted her to bring him home and teach him herself) in that she's brilliant but doesn't "fit" into the cogs terribly well. I have VERY high hopes for that particular, quirky, child. She's going to be a neat adult someday.

I get frustrated with all the labels that seem to float around in today's professional educational environment. From what I understand these labels DO follow you through your entire education and do have a monetary benefit for public school districts (not a good thing that particular conflict of interest :| ).

Jennifer

Thanks Angie and Jennifer. I know I may lose it at the meeting...and it will be okay, even if I do. I also know most of the pros and cons of the system here and our other outside options, too. We need to slow down and take it one step at a time....see what they have to say........and make our own informed decisions from there.........

update

Well, it wasn't such a big deal. We discussed the evaluation with the psychologist, teacher, reading specialist, resource room-special ed. teacher and principal. We all agreed with the findings-----3 learning disabilities with math being weaker than reading and writing/spelling. Also, she scored consistently lower on every subtest that required her to quickly recall already studied/familiar material, indicating difficulty retrieving data from long term storage and connecting old data to new related questions, automatically. The initial recommendations were better clarified after a bit of discussion-----2 hours of resource room daily where she will receive individual reading/writing/math studies. At the same time there are 2 first graders who are in there with their own individualized program. Afterwards, she will return to her own classroom.

At first they wanted to start the change of services next school year...but I spoke up and asked why we couldn't start now. Abigail's teacher also suggested that it would be a better idea to start now because it would be much more overwhelming for Abigail to start a new school year with a new teacher and regular classroom of kids and a new resource room teacher and kids, too, all at the same time. She has such a hard time with transitions and is finally feeling comfortable in the class she's in now------the teacher felt it would be much easier on Abigail to start getting pulled out for resource room this school year and then she can return to the old class where she is very comfortable---so it wouldn't be as hard on her emotionally to adjust. Also, next year, when she has to start with a new teacher, she would be comfortable already with the resource room teacher. We agreed that this was a much better idea, as did the rest of the team.

So, the next step is for the resource room teacher to write out the IEP and for us to have the IEP meeting on 4/18 to finalize the plan and I think immediately start services. Instead of getting pulled out for only 30 minutes of daily reading group help, she will get pulled out (with 2 peers in her class who have other learning issues) for much more personalized attention for 2 full hours daily in reading, writing, and math----at the same time the regular class covers those subjects and then she will join her class for the rest of the day. We think it's a good idea.

[PrincessFiona]

I'm glad things went well for you and that you were able to find a good solution. Good for you for getting her to be able to start now!!!!

kris

[HeartRN]

Laurel--Glad to hear you are pleased with the results of the meeting. I wish you and Abigail the very best!!