Lying

[SueC]

My 5 year old has started lying to me, mostly to avoid getting into trouble. Yesterday morning I noticed my wedding ring wasn't where I always put it at the end of the day and the girls of course professed their innocense. I started to freak out (as you can imagine since I recently really did lose my ring!), and this morning she "found" it beside the armchair that is in our bedroom. After much prying she admitted she had been playing with it. I've taken away TV for the day (I'm not allowing either of the girls watch since I think both of them might have known where the ring was), but I'm so bothered that she lied to me. She knows she will be in trouble even if she "fesses up" but I guess I need to make the punishment less severe in that case. How have you more experienced parents dealt with this?

[DCJenn]

My friend that I hold to the epitome of common sense parenting made it clear to her kids that the punishment for lying was double the punishment for what ever infraction they had lied about. So, for your example, since you took away TV privledges, make sure they both know that they would have been able to watch X program if they had told you the truth about taking your ring, but because they lied, they lost TV for the whole day.

It worked for her. (the funniest story was when she caught the oldest in a lie about doing something to his brother, and shen she asked him about the situation, he pondered what was likely to be the punishment, and then said, "well Mom, what if I lie?" as if he had two punishment options!!

Jenn

[SueC]

That's too funny Jenn--he sounds like a smart one!
I like the double punishment idea. It's tough to find incentive if they still get punished once they 'fess up, but that just might work!

[Phoebe]

My 3.5 yo lied to me for the first time tonight! I am appalled and amazed. She did it to avoid getting in trouble, because she "didn't want me to know" what she did. In the recent past, has blamed her imaginary friend for messes she made with stuff she shouldn't be into and then moved on to blaming her sister. Tonight she outright denied hurting her sister until I figured out what happened. Will the double the punishment thing work on preschooler? We have a book about telling the truth and we will be reading it a lot from now on.

:thud:

Jennifer

[HeartRN]

Sue, at least you know she didn't lie about the lost wedding ring thing! I think you have the right idea about the punishment thing....good luck and keep us posted!