Understanding 'No"

[Cumberland]

If DD does, she pleasantly ignores me when I say it. Lately she when she is done with eating, she throws all of her leftover food onto the floor. She usually waits until I am looking at her to do it. Saying no, no ma'am, speaking sharply, speaking sadly, time out for one minute... none of it is working. It is like a funny game to her. I am already seeing big problems when she turns 16. I would love any advice for how to teach a 15month old to understand no. Am I asking for directions to the holy grail?

[mommax3]

Right now it is a game to her and that is totally normal. Be consistent and she will understand it before long. If I were you, I would just take her tray away when she is done. When she throws the food off, tell her no and then ask "all done? Okay." and take her tray away (or remove the food or whatever. If you consistently say "all done" to her, she may start to say it too, or something like it, at least.

I always tried to save "no" for big deal stuff, like safety stuff, and otherwise, I tried to avoid saying it when they were as young as your daughter, or if I did say it, I would re-direct them to something else at the same time. When I did say it, I made it pretty scary, with a deep low voice and a stern face. The impression that made varied with the child I was addressing, but I think it got my point across.

Sally

[Phoebe]

Right there with you sister! My 19 month old does the same thing with food. Her big deal now is running out into the street. She looks back to see if I am looking or following her. When I say no, she laughs and goes faster. It is all an attention getting scheme.

I have started taking food bowls away when she starts throwing food because that means she is done. Also, I had her help me pick up some food she threw on the floor today because I want her to learn there are consequences.

With the running, in the street I have tried avoiding the word no and distracting her back up our driveway. Sometimes it works. I think they understand the word no, but like Sally said, it is a game.

My 3.5 year old still has problem with no.

Jennifer

[HeartRN]

Ditto everything. I'm right there with you! BTW, Keelin now actually says "Done" and starts to hand me all of her food! She hates it when I try to put it back on her plate. What a stinker!

[DCJenn]

Mine is bilingual and acts like he's never heard "Nyet" or "No".

Thank God I can explain it developmentally rather than institutional behaviors...

Although I can tell you that the food battle was kind of won because I give him some finger foods along with whatever else I'm feeding him and he thinks he's "won" the battle. He eats, he feeds himself, we don't have hysterical Russian in the high chair.

Now, bedtime, that's another issue entirely because when they're put to bed in the orphanage, that's it for the night. It's been hard to overcome a years worth of 'training' in three weeks, so every night, he's checking to make sure one of us will be there if he fusses. and we are. the book suggest treating him as much like an infant as we can. So, bottles and midnight feedings it is. Hopefully it won't last until he's in college.

Jenn

Am I asking for directions to the holy grail?

Yes.

I agree completely with Sally.

I feel much more relaxed about this with the first than the second. With my first, I was worried that this was a sign that she would be an absolute brat. Nope, it just takes them a while to figure things out.

As in....you don't like it when I throw cheese? So, you also don't like it when I throw pears? How about apples? A chunk of bread? Gee, seems like I can't throw anything around here. How about a bean? Anyone for a tossed bean? This will be repeated on a daily basis but your consistent efforts will pay off, I promise!