Stay-at-home parents...you are being duped...

[pstone]

I don't know if I am in a different boat as the SAHD or not, but I really really worry that my efforts now are not factored into the equation. I know enough now that if the tables were reversed I would thank everyone and everything to have a SAHM behind me. The wife keeps telling me to take a metal casting class that I want to take, or to find a ceramic studio to be part of, (both hobbies) and I feel amazingly guilt for even thinking about it let alone using the little money I do make as consultant to do something "for me"

I should not even entertain this thought, but wow, I wonder what a divorce judge would do with a SAHD.

I must not think that way, we are a team, she could not do this without me.

[DCJenn]

That's right Peter- and that's why she's telling to you find something you enjoy and do it. That's pretty much our mantra to everyone who finds themselves in the insanity that is internship year. That and DO NOT cancel plans because your spouse isn't available and GO AHEAD and go to functions and events with out them.

Jenn

I have relatives who met my husband for the first time- on Memorial Day, which is roughly six years after we met. He missed every single family function that we had for those six years (that those family members attended anyway!)

Anyway, I guess I have a different take on all of this because my husband has always referred to his paycheck as Jennifer's paycheck because he gets paid and then turns around and pays it all to me. Am I really just very weird and married to a weird man? This is starting to bother me....

My DH is pretty much like that. He doesn't call it my paycheck but I don't think anyone feels like it is his. During the first 3 years of med school, he handled all the bill paying (guess that would have been w/ my paycheck) and I did all investment stuff and now I just do all of it. We were laughing the other night that I could be opening offshores bank accounts and that he would be none the wiser. But imagine how that might sound if the positions were reversed!
I don't think it is weird and reminds me that a lot of this is my issue about this stuff and not his! Due somewhat to divorced parents too, I suppose.

[PrincessFiona]

It is hard to think about these issues without considering our own emotional baggage. (At least for me!) I've spent all day walking around in my own little therapy session. Thanks a lot Kris!

Oh hey, no problem. As you know, issues and emotional baggage just happen to be my two areas of expertise! :>

kris

[migirl]

We were laughing the other night that I could be opening offshores bank accounts and that he would be none the wiser.

I tease DH about this too! He is literally clueless about our financial situation (I have to check his wallet every week or so to see how much cash he's carrying around, I usually end up having to put money in it for him ). I tell him that I could be squirreling away money in a secret account somewhere and he would never know!