Clean up clean up everybody do your part......

[Cumberland]

My daycare provider was very surprised today that we dont have DD pick up her toys. I kind of thought 16 months is a little early. My ped said dont think too much about discipline/time out etc until 18 months. What age should she start?

We sing that song too -- learned it at preschool!

I have noticed that our 17 month old really likes to help out and feel like she is a part of things and likes to pick up (part of this is having an older sib to emulate). So, to the extent that it starts good habits, I would encourage it but I don't think it is too big a deal just yet.

[HeartRN]

This is the million dollar question in our house, too. My daughter really seems to understand nearly everything we tell her....and I KNOW she tests us all of the time (for example, she's way more resistent to bedtime now than she ever was before) Because I know she understands, I do ask her to help me when we pick up, and she generally does. Apparently this behavior also helps foster self-confidence/self assuredness and all the other "selfs".....general feel good-edness that comes from helping Mom or Dad do a job.

I have a friend who already uses time outs on her 18 month old and says it works....we haven't really tried it, but I guess that would be the 60 seconds for every year they are-type-time-out which would =about 90 seconds. I think my child would laugh and think it was a game. So far, distraction works better for us, or saying, "No ball throwing in the house." If balls are thrown again, she gets a warning "One more time throwing the ball and the ball gets put away". Generally she quits the undesired behavior...if not, she doesn't cry for long because we have (*so far*) been pretty consistent. She gives up because she knows the ball isn't coming back for quite a while once we take it from her.

Just my $.02, and I am certainly no expert! I'm just learning as I go through trial and plenty of error. I just hope my little girl grows up to be a productive member of society (at the very least!!!)

I think Tim was about 18 months when he started helping clean up.

Henry, at 15 mos is just getting to the point of bringing us what we ask, like his shoes. He won't actually give them to us without an exchange though.

We started having DD help pick up toys around 16 months because she understood what we wanted her to do...and would test us. Its always been really casual, I don't expect her to pick up all her toys or anything, we just want her to get the idea.

Now that shes a little older, we have her do some simple chores after dinner as well. She'll bring dishes into the kitchen and put some of the stuff away after its been washed. Right now, she actually thinks its a really fun game.

[Phoebe]

We missed the boat on that one with our first. We started doing more to encourage independence around year 2 since DD#2 arrived. With #2, she helped out a lot earlier because her sister is doing it. She really enjoys helping me do anything. We water the flowers together and she loves it. I have tried time outs with DD#2, but she doesn't get it. She hits me and her sister. When I tell her no, she thinks it is funny. Ultimately, distraction is the best trick to stop undesirable behaviors for her.

Jennifer

[Sheherezade]

We always had my kids pitch in and put away the toys at the end of the day. Still, they are now 6 and 9 and it's like pulling teeth to get them to clean their rooms. It was always easiest to clean up if we made it into a game. We might pick up all of one kind of toy at a time, or toss toys into the basket/box to "score". Now I wonder if making things a game made them think cleaning up always had to be fun. With no entertainment value, they just whine about cleaning. I think it is OK to integrate clean up tasks into your routine with a 16 mos. old. It would probably be a great habit for them to learn. I wouldn't expect her to do it without your direction for awhile -- maybe 2.5 or 3?

[DCJenn]

Hmmm, I guess I need to figure this one out too. There actually isn't that much to clean up. All of his toys are in the playyard and I only keep a few at a time in there. (I rotate them through every few weeks) (All of the international adoption books stress not to overwhelm them with 'stuff' as they've never had 'stuff' and get overwhelmed. Which is fine with me our house is so small that we need less stuff, not more!)

I guess once he's a little older and is able to negotiate the stairs etc., we'll set up a toy box. Then I'll expect him to keep his toys put away. Of course, I currently expect that from his father, to no avail...

Jenn

[mommax3]

I can't remember the exact ages that my boys started "helping", but I basically took my cue from them.....if I was doing something and they wanted to be in the middle of it, I found some element of the job that they could do, even if it made the job take longer, and then I would praise the heck out of them for doing it. They are all pretty good about keeping things picked up now, although they do have to be reminded.

Sally