Too big for her britches

[Phoebe]

My almost 4 yo thinks she is the "coolest girl". I have tried using this to my advantage telling her that the coolest girls don't whine, are nice to their sisters and go to bed on time. You get the picture. I am ready to hang this girl out by her toes. I am trying to curb the whining and dramatic outburts which drive me nuts. :nono: I feel like I have provided her with tools like giving her suggestions on what to say instead of whining. Ask for help nicely instead of throwing a fit when she can't do something and on my part not getting upset until I really get worn down. Finally I decided I was going to try time outs for whining and screaming. Time outs have worked as a distraction in the past. She is relentless though and we have resorted to taking away toys and privledges. Sometimes I can't keep up with her.

I put her on the time out carpet and the girl spit at me and laughed. This little snot is driving me nuts and I forsee a future of battles between us. :argue: I think spending the last two weeks 24/7 with my children has drained me. Luckily, we have a couple's night out on Thursday!

I had to vent before I became an ugly monster to my girls.

Jennifer

Ohhhh.....I've had the laughing with time out and it made me just about burst. It was all an act though -- just testing to see if I would keep up with it. I did, and a few weeks (months?) later, it was no longer something to laugh at.
They know how to push our buttons sometimes, don't they? I have a hard time with not taking that personally. *deep breath* It is developmentally appropriate but not acceptable behavior (if that makes sense).

[DCJenn]

Hey Jenn-

I've been rading this book by a physician- Martha Welch, called Holding Time. It's recommended by the adoption people as a way to deal with the outbursts and anger of kids who may not have the language skills. But they also talk about how well this works with kids without any major problems, kind of like a supplement to other ways of dealing with it. I can send it to you if you want.

Some of it, like all books about parenting theory, is horse poo, but I thought it was interesting. I've used the technique with my little Russian Mafiosi and it does seem to work, despite my initial doubts.

Jenn

My friend who is a social worker for the school system recommends a booklet callled 123 Magic which she uses with her son. My sister also uses it with her two grandsons who are autistic.

[SueC]

My girls have been laughing off some of my punishment as well. The other day it escalated to me spanking my oldest, she laughed (even though it hurt) and luckily I had the wherewithall to send her away before I really lost it. That really gets my goat when they act like my consequences are a big joke, they don't do that with their father. I've been sticking with time outs and it does seem to be getting better, though. They both have missed out on some fun activities while they are in time out and realized it wasn't quite so funny after all.