Today I had to replace...

my cell phone. I turned my head for a second and Ethan decided that he should grab my phone and throw it in the cats' water bowl. The phone could not be revived. Last month, we had to replace the wireless card on the laptop because Ethan decided to drop the computer on its side.

For comic relief, does anyone have any funny stories about things you've had to replace, courtesy of the children? (Or pets for that matter: um, that would be two rooms worth of carpets, ten pairs of shoes, and about five books).

[PrincessFiona]

UGH...
I have too many stories to even begin to tell

We had to replace the remote to our tv after Alex (then 2) flushed ours down the toilet. We of course had no idea why the toilet was blocked up. The plumber was so impressed that the big thing fit all the way in there that he asked to keep it. Ummm..ok..no problem.

Then, there was the car that he flushed down the toilet that put a hole in something in the septic system. We had sewage coming up through the backyard and our bathroom. We were renting at the time and the guy who came out basically promised not to say anything about the car to the people we were renting from.

Moving on to today....

We'd love to put our house on the market. Having only lived here for 4 years, you'd think it would be no problem...right?

1. We have to have our entryway/kitchen floor refinished (to the tune of $1500) because of kids/dog. We have to replace ALL carpets upstairs in three bedrooms and the hallway/stairs because of...the CATS. At night, they try and get into our rooms and scratch at the carpets..and one day, Fluffy got trapped in the boys room and chewed up 1/2 the carpet at the door. Otherwise, the carpets are in near-perfect condition

We replaced the playroom carpeting two years ago with expensive berber carpet. The people who had lived here before had a dog that apparently had some potty training issues and we didn't realize it until we had moved in. So...not even a few MONTHS after having the carpet installed, Amanda knocked over the oil space heater downstairs and started a carpet fire. It has to be replaced too.

Oh...and the dog tore up the linoleum in the laundry room when she somehow managed to get herself shut up in there one afternoon.

:!

I think that about covers it. Thomas just got his year-end settle up, so we'll have it all fixed in the next couple of weeks....but then...my kids and all pets will be sleeping/living in a tent outside

kris

A TV, thanks to the cat.
Back stair carpeting thanks to the dog pulling up a slightly loose corner(which turned into putting in hardwood flooring instead of carpet).
That little piece of tubing that connects the water source to the toilet, thanks to the same dog.
Our current cordless phones have had much more water exposure than they were intended to have. I'm too cheap to replace them but maybe all of the people who call and wonder why I sound like I am in a tunnel on a cell phone will chip in.

Sorry to hear about your cell phone!

[Sheherezade]

My son had this cute habit of throwing our cordless phone on the ground and yelling "Uh Oh!" I guess he got used to me saying that when he accidently dropped it and wanted to take the experiment a step further. Eventually, it stopped working and we gave it to him and bought a new one. These days, most of our damage is confined to balls through the window and fingerprints on the walls.

A wireless mouse thanks to DS#2 who dropped it in a glass of water.

Wallpaper in the nursery thanks to DS#2 (hmmm, again) who tore down some of it.

Oh - and on the cell phone ... we buy the "no questions asked" warranty.

I can't believe I forgot the best one:

Quinn took a pestle that was in a box for a garage sale (as in mortar and pestle) and banged up the screen on our Sony Wega Trinitron. It's now pock-marked.

Anyone seen "A Christmas Story" ? The scene where the little guy is wailing "Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie!" All I could think was "Daddy's gonna kill Quinny!"

[DCJenn]

Four pillows (Petey the dog), Rick's Class A uniform jacket (Petey), Several pairs of my socks and all of Rick's wool baseball hats (Petey), any quilt that is on the bed for more than 4 months (all of the furry bastids).

Plus- one endoscopy for eating 3 tampons (Petey), Two emergency overnight vet hospitalization (in addition to the aforementioned tampon incident which also required an overnight stay) due to 1) eating a styrofoam garden implement, and 2) having an allergic reaction to his flea medicine. Plus- Rascal's diabetes in addition to the fact that he was a jackass of a cat meant that he refused to use kitty litter and would only use newpaper in a seperate potty from all other kitties. when he felt like it...

Oh, Antonio thought nothing was more fun than running like a madman and jumping into the hamper and peeing in the dirty clothes. (mantra in this house- NO MALE CATS, EVER AGAIN)

So, pretty much, until Nikolai is old enough to drive the car through the garage, I'm golden with him.

Jenn

[Meenah]

Jenn, we have to meet. You are surely my kindred sister.
Luanne

You are all hilarious. I am locking the toilets down as we speak because I'm sure that the plumbing will go next--DS has learned the joys of flushing the toilet and likes to do it at least three times a row in quick succession. He waves and says, "Bye Bye" each time the water swirls down the drain...

DS got into DH's Seinfeld DVDs today. I found it to be five minutes of peace for myself, as DS was busy on the floor spreading all of them out instead of climbing on the furniture. But DH was not amused. The boxes were *SLIGHTLY* bent and he was annoyed with me for letting DS get into them. I just looked at DH and said, "Your children and pets are here to ruin our nice things. That is not the worst of what you're going to see over the years."

Babysitting should be required for boys during adolescence...

not that I'm replacing it right away, but we will have to replace the t.v in the play room after today's events. Quinn found the spray bottle we're using for puppy training and opened it and dumped it over top of the t.v ( WHY?? ). It started making a screeching noise and I ran downstairs to find that I couldn't turn it off w/the button - I had to unplug it. I think that's all for this t.v. ....

This is the same child that banged on the t.v. screen with the pestle (different t.v.). I'm sure dh will be chompin' at the bit to move our other t.v. down to the play room and buy himself something new and fancy. Great .....

The day after we got our new TV Tim colored on it with purple crayon.

Oh, and shorlty after getting our previous monitor, he found a sharpie.

But by far the best kiddie vandalism story I know is the time my neice Suzette painted their dog.