School....or not.

[PrincessFiona]

School starts here in two weeks and I'm finding myself in a panic mode. The charter school basically has contacted us once in the last 6 weeks. We were sent a letter with the name's of the kid's teachers....and then a note with it that said "these may not be their teacher's though. As our numbers change, we may need to make modifications."

I just feel a little panicked about trying out the charter school. Or maybe, I feel panicked about them growing up so fast.

We had a kind of lousy summer. I was very grouchy because of the mountains of kids running in and out of my house. I want them to have friends over...just not to be running with wet feet/bathing suits all over the floors in here. I had to go as far as to lock all of my doors and even lock my own kids out!

Andrew (10 /2) and Amanda (9) are just growing up too fast. This summer, I have seen Amanda go from being a little elementary school-aged girl to...a sort of...pre-teen...if that's possible. Suddenly, everywhere we go she wants to put on a dress and lip gloss...and she has begun speaking in such a grown-up way. Andrew is already taking on the looks of a young man and he has become so responsible. He watches Aidan for me during the day while I get stuff done around the house and helps with the cleaning up without complaining.

Where DID the days go...WHERE?

I just made a scrapbook for my mom from this past school year and on the last page, I put the kid's Spring school pictures. Next to those pictures I put a picture of them when they were born and wrote "Days go passing into years.....years go passing day by day" and then....I sat and sobbed over the book for an hour.

I'm not READY for them to grow up....I want the time back. I know it sounds silly....I'm sure you all think I'm being an overly-emotionaly cook. But....we had Amanda and Andrew at the beginning of residency and I was so stressed out that I feel like I missed out on things. I really wish that I could go back for just a little longer.

Then I get back to the idea of homeschooling for a year...Maybe if I homeschooled for just a year, we could have a little extra time. Instead of them being gone from 7.30am until 3.30pm (long days) I could have them all to myself this year. We could have one last shot at Andrew and Amanda being 'little' before they are 'big'.

I have agonized over this....stayed up late....cried...

I know, I know....

any advice?

Kris

[PrincessFiona]

Yes, this post is from the same person who wrote that we were being duped a couple of months ago during a particularly bad stretch.

Not really knowing you at all, my suggestion would be to try them at the charter school. If your worst school-disorgination fears are realized, then yank them out and try the homeschooling thing. I just know MY tempermant is not one for homeschooling thing, and I've heartily agreed with a lot of the posts you've made w/regards to kids. Plus, think of all the "quality you'll get with Aidan.

That said, mine are 4 and almost 3, and right now I would kill for a daily "break", so it's easy for me to say.

Good luck with your decision.

[Sheherezade]

Kris-

I know how you feel. My oldest is 9 now, and this school year I just feel like clutching at his ankles and yelling "Come back! Come back!!!" every time he walks on the bus. I can see him - really see him - growing up and moving away now. It is so hard. I like to think that this growing independence thing works both ways. He gets his feet wet in the "big" world a little at a time and I practice mothering him in a new way. I'm not very good at it yet. I am trying (as you know) to develop my own life in a more balanced fashion - sending off articles for my collection of rejection slips and working on MDFamily. Meanwhile, I need to be there for my kids when they need their mom. Andrew clearly needs you (witness last year); it just isn't clear how you can best help him. You're still figuring out your new roles. I'm sure the same will happen with Amanda....and so on. This is a hard transition time for parents. Let's try to muddle through together.

As for school, I think you should try the charter school. I know there has been some questionable communication this summer - but you thought it was a good choice last year. Clearly the other school wasn't working!! If the charter stinks, than maybe you should consider if homeschooling would be best for some of your children. Maybe they will react in different ways. Home schooling can be a great option for some kids all the way through childhood. For others, it can work in doses. For some, it might never ber the right thing. Still, you need to stay the course in this storm of maternal emotion. The kids don't need to see your indecision - it will freak them out. No matter what we do, they are going to grow up. Grrr. I suppose that is the way it is should be. But it sure is hard.