Opting out of Spanish...

[PrincessFiona]

Weird question here:

Our middle school offers foreign language instruction in spanish starting in grade 5. It's actually a requirement. Andrew is in his 3rd year of german and is really starting to get somewhere with it....we are hesitant to add a second foreign language until we feel that he has the grammar 'down' for german. We discussed this with the director of the germanic american institute who wholeheartedly agreed. The vice-principal also has no problem with us not enrolling him in spanish...but his teacher...wow..she was really standoffish about it to me today. I called her to talk about it and she said in a very cool voice "spanish is a part of our curriculum and you can't opt out of the curriculum"....ummm...it's my child...I can...

I was polite and explained that we had already talked with the spanish teacher and vice-principal...that I was needing to talk to her about alternative for him during that time period. She basically told me that if I was going to opt out I'd have to talk to the vice principal about what should be done with him...it's out of her hands.

Is it so unusual of a concept that he learn one language before the other? Yes, Spanish is an important language....but I hate to break it to the schools...there are other important languages too. Maybe my son won't deal with spanish speaking americans in his career...maybe he'll be in international business or something instead. There is room for a european language here...even in america. (end of sarcastic rant)

Secondly...Andrew's had some trouble getting organized. I had no idea until yesterday evening, but he's had several late assignments this year. The teacher really cracked down and basically, if he gets one more he will not be allowed to take part in any of the classes fun activities for the rest of the SEMESTER. (He's had 6 late assignments :! ) I explained to her that we were literally living out of boxes, that he didn't have his desk and that we have mass chaos here because of the move. I asked her basically to have some consideration for this until we got settled after Oct. 21st and she said...no. "It's his responsibility to do these things".

It took me 10 minutes to find my planner this morning to get Chris' number when she left a message on my machine this morning. None of us know where anything is anymore. This house is pandamonium.

Did I just post about how much I liked her?

I'm sure things will be fine..but...grrrrr

kris

[Rapunzel]

Well, she's sure a stickler for rules!

Flexibility and compassion are somewhat of a necessity when dealing with kids....

Jennifer

[PrincessFiona]

Well, when I picked him up today he was all smiles....I asked him how his day was..."Duh, Mom...It's smile day..of course it was awesome...and I won 8 prizes for making other people smile AND Mrs. X told me how much she liked me and what a good student I am and I didn't get any late assignments and I don't have sax until Monday and.." (gasp) He is totally laid back again, happy....no cares in the world..."I finally undertand the difference between class 1 and class 2 levers and I got a 100 on my spelling test and..."

:thud:

The rollercoaster is killing me.


I suppose that as long as the teacher keeps her disdain just for me it's fine. I don't know why she doesn't like me...I haven't given her reason ....yet :> :>

kris

[Rapunzel]

Well, you know that Andrew likes the teacher. And, you have strong grounds for suspecting the teacher doesn't like you. What I'm curious about is: Does this teacher like Andrew? If she doesn't it could be really awful for Andrew. Or if she allows her apparent dislike of you into her interactions with your son it could be equally as awful. A kid who loves his teacher and figures out that the teacher doesn't really give a rat's hiney for him can be pretty devestated. Has the teacher warned Andrew about missing all of the fun activities if he turns his work in late again? Or is she just going to spring this on him? Is he going to have to sit in class twiddling his thumbs while his classmates get to do "cool" stuff? Is this teacher aware that this could throw Andrew into another low self-esteem/odd-one-out type situation again (and, possibly set him up for bullying)?

I'd be a bit nervous as well. Hopefully she was just having a bad day....

Jennifer

[PrincessFiona]

The funny thing is that our conversation was so..bizarre and then she took the time during their study period to tell him what a great kid she thought he was and told him that he was a 'bright student'. He won the most prizes today for being helpful and making others people smile....Apparently, she was quite kind to him.

So here I am wondering what on earth I did to this teacher to make her not like me. I've only had contact with her 1 other time and it was to discuss last year. I was open, friendly, thankful to her for being willing to take Andrew into her class, etc.

I'm sitting here pondering "Is it because I'm fat? Did I say something rude w/o knowing it? "

I feel like a very 'un-cool'parent.

kris

[Rapunzel]

Maybe she just hates Germans.

Or, Aunt Flo came to visit that day?

Who knows?

Maybe you just caught her on an "off" day?

Jennifer

[PrincessFiona]

Maybe she just hates Germans.

hehe..that's it...discrimination! :>

I also think it's because so many parents have demands ...and I'm sure they all think that their demands are as important as I think mine are. :>

[Sheherezade]

Well... I read the whole Spanish incident as the teacher not wanting to deal with a "loose" student during her own work time. At least at our school, the teachers get some of their work done when the kids are off at "specials" like language, music, art and gym. Is that the case at your school? Were you given the impression (by the vice principal) that the teacher would do something with him during that time? Maybe they just don't know what to do with him.

I'm glad he's happy. She's right that he should be responsible for his own work - even though it's a pain. It's a good age for them to learn their study habits and organization. We struggle with that too here, but we've only made progress through letting him "fail" on his own.

edit to add: I think sometimes that teachers feel bad for these "poor" kids with controlling mothers. I've seen that behavior before --love the kid, loath the mom. I'm trying hard to find the balance between helicopter parent and uninvolved parent. It seems you get labelled as one or the other these days.

[PrincessFiona]

Am I a controlling parent? Maybe I am...I've become very protective of him over the last couple of years...especially after last year...I just don't want anything bad to happen to him.

It is just sooo hard for me to see him unhappy. He cried buckets last night about the late assignments and it broke my heart. I know he needs to get organized...but can't we wait until we move and he has a desk and a chair and we have a...kitchen table again?

also edited to add:

You are right about getting labeled. Our new neighbor was telling us that her son's kindergarten teacher called because the child was being disruptive during work time. She mentioned to the teacher that he had gone to 2 years of a preschool that had taught him all of his letters/to write his name/ etc and asked if maybe he could be bored?

The teacher literally responded "there is nothing exceptional about your son"

She was beside herself about that "Kris, I didn't say there was...I just thought that since he can already write his name and the letters, etc...that maybe that's why he is doing his own thing during work time"

[Meenah]

I'm sorry Kris. Slap the lady upside the head then offer her a marguerita!!!! Seriously, could you ask them to let Andrew work on his German assignments in the library at the the time of the Spanish class? Maybe that would help, if you offer an idea for an option.
Luanne

[Sheherezade]

I didn't mean that you're controlling Kris! I think that's what teachers think sometimes though when a "special request" comes their way. Honestly, I think you would be remiss if you didn't watch him like a hawk this year. Things went so poorly before - and partially because you had faith in the school staff. They let you down. I know the new teacher seems great so far, but I'd keep my eye on things as well. Your request about the langauge instruction was completely normal and handled through all the appropriate channels. I don't get her problem with that, unless it is scheduling. Maybe she was so nice to Andrew because she knew she'd been out of line with you? Guilt?