Anyone have trouble with angry children?

OK, one more post about my psychotic son. He's started having these black moods where he argues with anything you say and if you tell him you don't want to talk he follows you around and picks fights until you can't stand it anymore. We recognize the mood now and usually put him in his room before he drives one of us to get angry, but when he's timed out he shouts that he hates us and pounds on the door and lets out blood-curdling screams. He doesn't throw or break toys so much since I began taking any toy he threw, but even from his room he casts this angry pall on our entire family. Our daughter Gevevieve, 15 mo, gets upset by it and can't understand why one minute her brother is playing with her and the next he's acting so scary. I go back and forth between thinking it's normal moodiness for this stage and thinking there's something very wrong with this level of anger. It's like he becomes possessed, and it's taking its emotional toll on all of us. Does anyone else go through this? Did it pass? Kaaren

I think that with the behaviors that Andrew has that we've had to work really, really, REALLY hard not to freak out sometimes. It is hard to be patient when they are repeating the same question or throwing tantrums .... I can relate to your frustration! I have my good moments where I'm proud of how I handle it and my "monster mommy" moments where I cry once I get them to sleep because I feel so lousy....and of course lots inbetween.

I try and talk to Andrew about some of his behaviors when we aren't in the middle of it, which does help. I let him talk about what is upsetting him or what he thinks causes this. If there is any kind of a tantrum associated, I try my best to ignore it (easier said than done!) but do often find myself getting angry simply out of frustration or feelings of failure within myself.

My suggestion, while you are waiting for a peds appointment, is to come up with a plan and talk to your son about it in a calmer moment. You may even be able to get some input from him about what triggers these mood changes or perhaps your observations of him will help you see that there is a pattern?

Something we've done that has worked when we are consistent is use a behavioral chart....Come up with 4 things (isn't he 4 years old?) each day that he can do to get a sticker on the chart. Start out with things that he will be successful at immediately so he can feel how rewarding it is to be "good"...if all 4 get filled one day then come up with a fun thing for him to do with you or his dad alone. My daughter really goes for special time at Barnes and Nobles...but that is a big treat reserved for special times....sometimes our prize will be as simple as building a block house together at night or letting the kids lay in our bed and watch a movie at bedtime....

Kris
Time is a Dressmaker, Specializing in Alterations!