Anarchy

[Phoebe]

My headstrong 4 yo DD does things a little differently. We encourage that, however at her age she doesn't like limits (what child really does) and is constantly pushing them resulting in butting heads with mom and dad. Recently, we made a list of rules as a family and have been cracking down a little harder on unwanted behaviors. This morning she tells me that we don't need rules anymore and that she was going to break all my rules. Yes, how pleasant of her.

We have also been trying to convey to her the reason for rules, that they keep her safe and that rules exsit in different facets of life (i.e., school, home, work, society). Does anyone have a better way to explain why rules exist? This is coming from my daughters who instead of going to sleep at night in the same room decide to empty all their clothes out of their dressers onto the floor (under daddy's watch). They have yet to sleep in the same room together.

Jennifer

Jennifer

[spotty_dog]

Do you have some examples of rules and of unwanted behaviors? Obviously I'm not in a position to offer advice from experience, but maybe it could help others.

[twinsmom]

This one seemed to sink in when my brother (in his Ortho residency) was explaining to his 4 yo dd why she had to wear her car seat straps in the car... (In her words, coming in the door FRANTIC as she re-iterates to he mom...) "Mommy, I HAVE to put on my straps or else we will get hit by a car and my head will get SMASHED and I will get all BLOODY and I will have to go to the HOSPITAL, and it will HURT REALLY BAD!!" As SIL glared at my brother, his response was, "well, she put on her straps, didn't she?!"
Not sure if I would recommend the blood and gore approach, but hey, she actually never missed putting her straps on after that...

Good luck - I'm right with you in this ball game - our twins are coming up on four and getting VERY independant!! Let me know what works for you!

Jen B.

[Phoebe]

The rules we came up with mostly came from DD and it was fun to watch her come up with the rules. Now she has decided we don't need any. They range from listening, no screaming and whining to cleaning up messes and being considerate of other. Pretty basic. Today I gave her the example that cars (drivers) must follow rules while on the road otherwise everyone will crash. I think I convinced her rules are necessary, but that doesn't mean she wants to follow them.

She caught me off guard when she announced that we didn't need the rules and that she was going to break them all.

[SueC]

She sounds like a pistol Jennifer! She'll be a great, strong woman, some day! I guess all you can do is have clear consequences for breaking the rules and then enforce them (I'm sure you are already doing that). Hopefully eventually she will figure out that it is better to stick to the rules.