Holding children back a year....

Well, I went in and talked to Finny's teacher and mentioned to her that perhaps holding Finny back and putting her in all-day Kindergarten would be an option because of how she's struggled with her letters and numbers......



I don't think that I really meant it...but her teacher just called to say that she is seriously considering it as an option now..and we are going to have a meeting about it.



On the one hand, I see her struggling and think that it would be easier to hold her back now instead of let her struggle later (if she would indeed struggle)...and after she hits first grade, holding her back would be more difficult...



On the other hand....would there be any damage to her self-esteem now????



any thoughts one way or the other?



Kris
Time is a Dressmaker, Specializing in Alterations!

[DCJenn]

Kris-



Only you know the answers! But, if she's socially having problems along with the schoolwork, then maybe another year wouldn't hurt. My parents kept my brother out of kindergarten an extra year because he just wasn't ready. He ended up being older than most of his class but it seemed to work in his favor. He was 18 when he graduated from high school. He just needed the extra year. I went to kindergarten early- but it ended up making me younger than everyone else- which caused problems as I approached middle school. Luckily I had a pretty astute 4th grade teacher who kept me with her for an extra year. (back in the days of open classrooms and team teaching- I stayed with the 4-5 grade team instead of moving to the 5-6 team- and I think it really did me a world of good to be the Big Fish in the Little Pond for once.



Just some thoughts-



Jenn

[houseelf]

Kris,



I have no answer because education/child development is way out of my field. BUT, I would seriously educate myself on the pros/cons of both options. I think that I read somewhere that even after a child is held back, they never really catch up in later years. Jenn, of course there is contrary anecdotal evidence everywhere and one can make a statistic support ANY theory. Nonetheless I would read, talk, and research this extensively.



Do you still plan to put her Finny into summer enrichment classes to help fill some of the gaps? One-on-one attention may be enough to get her up to speed. Let us know what solution you decide on. Good luck.



Kelly

I don't know if I am much of an expert in this area but we put our second son, Zachary, into kindergarten with full intention of keeping him in there for two years if he didn't come on strong. His birthday is in July so he is one of the younger ones in his class and I wasn't sure he would be ready. For him, he did better than expected and we moved him up. However, I know of at least three of the children that stayed back and they are doing well. I think NOW is the time to hold her back rather than later if you think she will struggle. I was put forward when I was young and it worked out okay. My brother was put forward and he REALLY struggled in school. So... it would be good to really research it, see what the teacher has to say. Know all the facts first. She is still young enough that I don't think it would be detrimental to her self-esteem but, like I said, I haven't researched this. It is just my opinion. I do know that holding a child back when they get a little older, even second grade could be very traumatic if it isn't handled well. This is such a hard decision. The most important thing is to do what you feel good about and what is best for Finny. It will work out.



Robin

When is Finny's birthday? Is she one of the youngest ones right now? Has she made a lot of close friends that will move on? I had a friend with twins who had them go to kindergarten twice -- once in public school and then the next year when she moved all of her kids to private school, she put her twins in kindergarten again. They had a June birthday, so they were on the young side to begin with.



If Finny stayed in Kindergarten but had a different teacher next year, do you think that would be beneficial? Is she far enough behind that you're pretty sure she won't get bored next year if she repeats? How much of her difficulty do you think is due to immaturity as opposed to not understanding? If she just isn't understanding because of the way her teacher presents things, then the summer program my catch her up just fine. But if she isn't understanding because of her immaturity, another year in Kindergarten may be what she needs. I agree that it would be better for her to repeat now than to face it later.



Sally

Well, this is something that we will really have to consider. The teacher feels that she's behind because of her initial trouble adjusting and that she is now "on task".... Socially, she's begun making good friends and so I do wonder if even now it would be noticeable if she went back into Kindergarten...I had thought that maybe the school would accomodate us and offer her a full-day kindergarten slot, but they said that even in this case that she would have to go into the lottery like every other child. I don't really think that they are looking out for her best interests in that regards. I'd be able to say...now you are going into K-1 or something and at least have her in the all day program..and they won't guarantee it? I dont' get it...



So...I don't know what we'll do, but now I'm leaning to promoting her simply becuase I don't want to risk her losing the friendships that she's making, feeling she wasn't promoted..and honestly, I don't intend to have her home again next year every day by 10.30am.



I'll keep you posted on what happens.



Kris
Time is a Dressmaker, Specializing in Alterations!

[Meenah]

Good luck Kris - I know this isn't an easy decision. If she is in half-day kindergarten next year, how will you keep her busy/entertained/educated the rest of the day. I would be afraid she would just get bored which would potentially lead to another set a problems. Can you put her in the lottery for full day kindergarten and if she doesn't get it move her to first grade?

Luanne