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Home Alone

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  • Home Alone

    At what age to you guys consider it ok to allow a child to spend limited time home alone? This is a huge issue for me right now. We have acquaintances that have allowed their child to stay home alone for an hour or two since first or second grade....and other friends with a daughter Andrew's age (11) that babysits his two younger sisters (4th grade and 2nd grade).

    I have gradually given Andrew more 'stay-at-home' responsibility, as I remember staying home alone during the day if I was sick during 4th grade or for brief stints. He's in 5th grade now and is pretty responsible. I have also let him stay at home very briefly (read: 35 minutes one time and 1 hour the next time) with Alex while I went to an u/sound and while I took Amanda to her dance class. The time I was gone for an hour, I actually called 5 times and he finally told me "do not call back here again, Mom". The kids are allowed to sit at the table and do their reading/math assignments (if they don't have anything, I pull something out of a workbook) and then they can watch tv.

    They have my cell phone number and Thomas' cell phone number...and despite all of that and the fact that so many of our acquainances/friends allow this and my daughter's teacher even suggested that Amanda could watch Alex (age almost 7) for short periods of time and I should 'get over myself'....I can't....get over myself. To me, it doesn't feel right...I feel like the kids should be in 8th grade or something before they can be on their own for an hour or two....

    Everyone tells me I'm just being too over-protective...even Thomas thinks I'm being silly.

    Am I?

    The kids don't fight when I leave them, they do the homework that they are told to do and don't destroy the house....and yet...I quiver "what if there is a fire? What if there is a storm? What if someone gets hurt? what if....."

    kris
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

  • #2
    You could have him take the Red Cross babysitter course to help with all those "what-ifs".

    I was home alone for short times starting at 8 yo and babysitting at 12 (with my parents home). I know I did fine but when I think about my kids just a few years from now... :!

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    • #3
      I was routinely home alone for 3-4 hours when I was 9. I usually also started dinner too. I think I started babysitting soon after that.
      Mom of 3, Veterinarian

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      • #4
        A class is a good idea!

        Michele, Andrew's little girlfriend, Nicole, waches her sister (4th grade) and brother (1st grade) AND she puts on the meal too....she has proudly told me how to make hamburger helper and spaghetti.

        kris
        ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
        ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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        • #5
          The class is for 11 to 15 year olds. Here is a link:
          http://www.redcross.org/services/hss/co ... index.html

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          • #6
            My rule for my kids staying home alone AND for babysitting is going to be "Must Hit 12th Birthday First".
            Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
            With fingernails that shine like justice
            And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

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            • #7
              My niece is an ultra responsible 12 year old and she frequently watches her THREE little brothers (9,7,5). The funny thing is, the boys listen to her more than they listen to their own mom sometimes!!!!!

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              • #8
                I have used an 11yr old babysitter several times. Her mother is always right next door, and she never has to feed or put DD to sleep. She has taken the babysitting course and I am not her only client.
                Mom to three wild women.

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                • #9
                  I suppose it depends on what is right for your child *again*! In our house, we have tried to leave our 9 year old alone for short periods (30-60 minutes). Sometimes, it seems like such a hassle to load him up in the car to take my daughter around the corner for a lesson or to go across the street to drop something off at the neighbor's and chat for a few minutes. Our limited experience was a stunning failure. On the third try, he locked himself out of the house. The weather was good and he was in no danger - but he totally panicked. It set us back light years in terms of his independence. He became so anxiety riddled that he wouldn't let me leave the house to take the new puppy in to the yard without him. We won't be trying that again for a long, long time. I t would probably help to try it only after he knows the neighbors well enough that he could go to them for help if necessary. (We're getting there with that.)

                  Many of the kids in his class do stay alone on occassion. Our area has loads of 12 year old babysitters. Clearly, it's ok here. He's just not ready for it. Truth be told, neither am I. I was a latchkey kid from the age of 7. Bad things can and do happen. That's all I can say without ending up on Oprah. Can you say "projection"?
                  Angie
                  Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
                  Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

                  "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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                  • #10
                    I'm amazed, but I was full-fledged babysitting a NEWBORN at 12. And this was (WAY) before the days of cell phone / pager / easy access.

                    I have a 12 year old kid in the neighborhood that I'll have watch the boys for limited stints - but his parents are always home if we do that (2 doors away). I know they leave him home alone w/his brother who is 8.

                    It truly depends on the kid and their maturity. Honestly sometimes I think Jacob would handle things better than my husband.

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                    • #11
                      I'm soooo relieved to read the responses! I can't even begin to tell you how relieved!

                      I do tend to be a bit on the over-protective side at times. I didn't let Andrew or Amanda leave our cul-de-sac on their bikes until this last summer when Andrew had just finished 4th grade and Amanda 3rd. The other kids were riding bikes to the conveniece store 1.5 miles away and I was...well...not letting them out of my site. Thomas had to put his foot down with me. Then...once I had given Andrew and Amanda the leeway, Alex who had only completed Kindergarten was off and riding outside of the cul-de-sac. (only for very limited times though).

                      I even let Andrew ride to school with his little girlfriend this Fall (though truth be told....I followed them in the van without them knowing) :>

                      kris
                      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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