If money were no object, which would you choose?

[mommax3]

Just curious as to where everyone is after all this discussion! It sure is interesting!

private school

Good question, Sally!!!! But, the choice I'd make isn't on there: homeschool early and private school later on. Anyway, good question, Sally!



Jennifer

[mommax3]

I wanted to put that option in, but there wasn't room. At least you gave your opinion! Anyone else that picks that option can do what you did, I guess.



Sally

I just looked at the results and it really IS interesting, Sally!!! I'm especially surprised by the private school early/public school later votes....I'm not sure why....but I guess if you're going to work hard to pay to give a child a solid foundation in the early years that you'd want to give them the same solid foundation in the pre-college curriculum? Anyone that answered that way...I'd be interested in the motivations....



It's a tough decision and it looks like each of you has found what will work out best for your families. We are going to stay with the public schools here and supplement the children where we can...There are really no other realistic options for us at this time.



Sally, did you teach in private schools or public schools? Do you think that if you were to go back into teaching that you would want to teach in a public/private school? and...(gasp for air here) if you were teaching in a public school would you still send your children to private schools? I'm really interested in your perspective as an educator also what you think that we, as parents can do to work with our children or the teachers to make the experience more positive all around.



The most important perspectives that we can learn from here are truly from you and Christy, because you've taught and have an understanding that the rest of us do not.



Kris
Time is a Dressmaker, Specializing in Alterations!

[mommax3]

I was one of the ones that chose private school first, followed by public school. I guess a lot of it comes from my husband's experience. He went to a private school that only went to 8th grade, and then to a fairly large public high school. He feels like he got the best of both worlds -- a wonderful foundation in his younger years, a "safe" place during middle school, and then the opportunity to branch out during high school into areas that private schools would have trouble duplicating, including (in his case) high school sports, competing with the "big" schools. I think, too, that going to public high school after private school would give our kids a chance to be in a less protected atmosphere before they go off to college -- sort of a chance to grow into all the freedom that you get when you leave home. Those are my thoughts now, anyway.



IF I go back into teaching, I will take the job with the program that fits me best. I am a music teacher, and there are many different ways to approach that position -- the license is a K-12 license, so you have your pick of grade level as well as your emphasis -- so it would really depend on what the needs were at a particular school. The school I taught at for five years was a public middle school (about 500 kids in grades 6 - in a small, kind of rural town. The kids were on the poor side. Since I, too, was on the poor side growing up, I felt like I could really identify with the kids and could make the arts accessible for them, even if the only singers their parents listened to were those found on the country music station. I think I would still tend to seek out that type of situation, although my principal at that job was not AT ALL supportive of music, so I would definitely want that to be different! I have thought of getting a master's in special ed or school counseling, but I would still probably seek out the same type of school.



As for my kids, I would have to see what the situation was then and where I thought my kids would do best. I don't think I would feel disloyal teaching in a public school and sending my kids to private school, if that happened to be the case, because my motivation for sending my kids to private school would be based on their best interest (where they "fit" best), and a particular public school may not be a good fit, even if it is a good school. I think, though, that I would be more inclined to send them to a public school that I worked in because I would know the kids and the climate there.



I don't think there is one right answer to this question, even for my kids. To be real honest, I don't think my second child would have a moment's trouble with the public school here. He is much more easy-going and has not been so driven about learning -- I think he is right on schedule instead of being so far ahead. I will probably send him to private school because his older brother is there and it will just make more sense for our family. I think I will appreciate the protected atmosphere for both kids, though.



From my perspective as an educator, the best thing a parent can do is support the teacher even if you don't agree with everything they do. By that I mean you shouldn't bad mouth the teacher in front of the kid (only to your husband, mom, in-laws, and best friend after the kids are in bed ) and you should find things you DO agree with that the teacher is doing and reiterate them at home. (Hopefully you will agree with most everything.) I believe you can make your child feel supported without tearing down an authority figure, although you may have to censor your initial responses when you get notes from the teacher! Continually emphasize to the teacher that you want to be contacted right away if there are problems, and don't be defensive when problems come up. Help as much as you can in the classroom. Chaperone field trips if possible -- you will get a lot of insight about how hard the teacher is working when you get a load of all those little personalities in the same room! When there are problems, meet with the teacher as soon as you can and make sure you have all of the facts. If your child has misunderstood something, let teacher know that so she can work it out with the child. Have a clear objective in mind when you go in and be able to state it fairly concisely in a non-accusatory way. Keep in mind that the problem that has been consuming all your waking moments may not have even registered with the teacher and in any case, whatever it was, it happened at least 24 hours ago and she has had several crises since then. Document all of your meetings and their results. Follow up to see if the situation has improved. Thank the teachers for their time. If you don't feel like you are being taken seriously after a couple of meetings, go up the chain to a school counselor or a principal. If you feel like they aren't listening either, then you should try to explore other options.



In my case, I started to sense a general disinterest in the issues of gifted education that was school-wide (if not district-wide) and I can understand that (in a way) when I realize that they are expending a tremendous amount of energy trying to teach kids to read -- why should they worry about this kid who is reading really well? So it is not an isolated incident for us -- it would be ongoing, so we are going to try something else next year.



Teachers who really try to reach and challenge every student in their classroom are angels. They work for SO much less than what they are worth. It takes a special person to work that hard for the love of children - they certainly don't do it for the money. I really don't know if I have it in me to go back to it now that I have kids. It took a lot out of me each day to care about the kids I had and keep them on track for the time that I had them. Some of them had such sad stories! I know the same is true for my son's classmates, and I know his teacher is working very hard to make sure they aren't "left behind" as Bush says. I don't want them to be left behind either, but I really want my son to be learning new things while he is at school, not learning what to do when he is bored that will keep him out of trouble.



It's a hard question.....but I have really appreciated everyone's thoughts as I have been going through the process of making this decision.



Sally

Sally,



Thanks for your perspective.



I didn't realize that you teach music...I was in the choir for all of my growing up years...and I would have to say that the teachers that influenced me the most were for the most part my music teachers.....Those are the times that I look back on now when I think about high school and get those warm/fuzzy feelings...choir trips, the music, the friendship....



I know that budget cuts were always looming and there were always threats that the programs would be cut....what a shame for children.



I appreciate what you say about supporting teachers, and you've given me some things to think about. I don't think that I've been unsupportive of the teachers (ie talking about them in a negative sense in front of my children) BUT, I don't think I've been proactive about showing my support as I could have. I think that Andrew and I's teacher have come a long way...we talk a lot and are still planning to get together this summer...but I think that I've been pretty much just waiting for the year to be over in kindergarten....without trying to be supportive of the teacher. She is a good teacher, too...I guess I just am so sensitive about my children and feel so personally criticized (though she has never said anything to me at all and likely never would!). I am really going to think about this for now and for next year....



Thanks,



Kris
Time is a Dressmaker, Specializing in Alterations!

Since my top choice wasn't there, I just picked "homeschool".



Jennifer