Handling weight issues sensitively...

My daughter is about to turn 6, and she announced yesterday that she wasn't going to eat anymore because she didn't want to get fat. Besides the fact that it really taps into my issues...it disturbs me that at such a young age she is being sucked into body image issues...I talked with her about this because it's the second time that it has come up....she didn't want to wear her snow pants this year because a child in her class was telling her that they made her look fat. Last night she was telling me that kids at her school laugh at fat people and she doesn't want to be fat



I feel really awful about this...especially because I am overweight and have spent time in the classroom. I'm afraid that children may have teased her because of me? I tried to reassure her but I don't think that I did a very good job...I ended up telling her that god made her a small person and that she was always going to be small so she didn't have to worry about it ... because I don't think that she has the capacity to really understand right now.



Does anyone have anything else to offer me in terms of how to approach this subject with her?



Kris
Time is a Dressmaker, Specializing in Alterations!

[mommax3]

Kris,



I haven't had to deal with this since I don't have girls, and frankly, it is one positive about having all boys, since God knows I have my own issues about weight, as does my mother. I am glad not to pass those issues down.



I have seen this topic in a lot of magazines and stuff lately, so a web search would probably turn up something f

[mommax3]

Kris,



I haven't had to deal with this since I don't have girls, and frankly, it is one positive about having all boys, since God knows I have my own issues about weight, as does my mother. I am glad not to pass those issues down.



I have seen this topic in a lot of magazines and stuff lately, so a web search would probably turn up something for you.



Kids will always make fun of someone who is different, whether it is a child who is overweight, or disabled, or has a speech impediment, or whatever, so that might be one way to approach it with your daughter when she observes kids making fun of other kids.



Also, I think an emphasis on health rather than on weight would be helpful to her (to us as a society, really) and I bet you have a good start on that since I know you have been exercising.



I think it would take a tremendous effort to raise a girl and counterract the messages society sends about weight -- I wish you luck!



Sally

[mommax3]

Sorry for the partial post, the baby somehow posted for me as I was typing!

I'm compulsively checking here You are right, Sally...my little boy was in on our conversation...I had also tried to make the point that God made us all different...short/tall/fat/thin...and how great the world is that we have such diversity ....and he told me that he'd still love me even if I was so fat that I took up the whole house



Kris
Time is a Dressmaker, Specializing in Alterations!

We must have posted at the same time...that's funny about the baby posting...Alex likes to delete the posts by hitting the Esc button!



There are so many messages out there for girls..and I look at the popular icons like Britney Spears and I wonder if even at this young age that it is teaching my daughter that the only way to be happy and successful is to be thin.



I just don't want her to already begin developing some kind of eating disordered thinking...



Kris
Time is a Dressmaker, Specializing in Alterations!

[mommax3]

When school started last fall, I was hugely pregnant (delivered on Sept. 7) and wanted to walk my son to school and meet him on the way home for the first few weeks. (The school is at the end of our street, but it is a LONG street.) One day I was later than usual meeting him after school and he asked a parent (that I later met) he saw walking if he had seen or passed a "really big mommy" on his way down the street! I have to admit, though, that his description was correct!



Sally

[houseelf]

Kris,



This worries me as my TWO year old son stepped on the bathroom scale and and announced "heavy". You could have knocked me over with a feather because I know exactly where he got this from. Sure, it is not quit the same issue with boys, but I've already indoctrinated him into my own set of issues and insecurities.



Kelly

Kristen, I think what you told your children sounds fine! Just keep reassuring her!!! Maybe talk to her teacher and see if she is going through something at school. It always helped me as a teacher to learn from the parents little things about their children because I like to help as much as I can and sometimes can be great as a group lesson.



Just a thought,

Christy

Forever Friends

Well, my own experience with weight is probably not ideal because of a sibling's experience with anorexia and later bulimia. I have come to the realization that I myself have some pretty harsh emotions about any weight gain on my part. Of the four kids in my family (me, my sister and two brothers) we are all work-out fiends - perfectionists really - and it has caused quite a bit of anxiety I'd say. I can't go into detail with them because of privacy, but for me I have always been very self-conscious of my body and felt "fat" even at a size 2!!!! I guess I come from the other end of the spectrum.... I have promised myself that I will NOT bring weight up with any of my kids and I try very hard not to make observations of their physical appearance although sometimes I slip. I don't know what I'll do if one of my daughters comes to me at a very young age wanting to diet.



Jennifer

[DCJenn]

Kris-



there are loads of "girl power" books and videos these days that emphasize positive female images. Check out the local library and see what they've got. I know I've also seen magazines for girls and young teens as well. Maybe Finny would respond to her own magazine or something!



Jenn

I think I will ask the teacher if this has been an issue at all at school....



What kind of "girl power" videos or books do you mean, Jennifer? Is there something specifically geared to building self-esteem in girls...because if there is, I'm going to run out and invest in it.



Kris
Time is a Dressmaker, Specializing in Alterations!

[DCJenn]

Kris-



Yes, they are geared specifically to build self-esteem in girls. You know- you don't have to act like your brains have fallen out, everyone is different, think for yourself and you know what the right things to do are- don't believe all of the peer pressure hype, etc.



I can't remember the names of them but if you ask at the Library or the local bookstore, they'll point you inthe right direction. I can also check some of my magazines that have referenced these books and magazines.



Jenn