nursing problems

[Phoebe]

Does your ob/gyn or hospital have a lactation consultant on staff? I know the hospital where I delivered has a lactation office staffed with nurses to field questions about nursing. I called them a couple times to get some information.

I am sure it is difficult. I still feel sometimes like I was somehow responsible when my daughter refused to nurse anymore at 4 months. You have to make the decision that is right for you and your baby. I think you should feel good about being able to nurse as long as you have.

I hope you find a solution.

Jennifer

[Phoebe]

Opps! I am sorry that I missed the end statement about the lactation specialist in your post. I am not sure about outside the base and where you live, but in our community there is a parent's center that holds a weekly group for baby's and their parents and a lactation consultant attends sometimes. Would your community have something like that?

Again, sorry for not reading thoroughly in my first post.

Jennifer

In the absence of real-live support from a lactation specialist, there is a book I bought when I was expecting our twins: "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding". It's by the LaLeche League. It was packed full of great information, although I never got to put it to use. I hear you both, when you say you are blaming yourself for not breastfeeding long enough. However, BOTH of you did an amazing job of breastfeeding. So many women don't make it past the first few weeks. Myself, I was so convinced I'd breastfeed, and then had a really bad hemmhorage after giving birth that it shocked my pituitary and caused too-low prolactin. No milk, despite weeks of pumping and crying. Strangely, I beat myself up and blamed myself for not being able to provide the life-giving food my twins needed. In reality, there was NOTHING I could do about it. In retrospect, I wish I'd been kinder to myself. I cried and cried. It's too easy to blame yourself when you have an infant (or two), when in actual fact you are doing such a great job.

Your words ring true: you must do what is right for you and your baby. And believe me, you are the best one to decide what that is. Just think of all the vitamins and minerals you have given your baby by breastfeeding in those critical first few months.

[mommax3]

I haven't really posted about this here, but Nathan (8 months old tomorrow!) has been getting us up a lot at night -- like 3 or 4 times a night. I was so tired all the time that I had no patience, no sense of humor, nothing. So my husband put Nathan in the port-a-crib and moved him into a different room (so I couldn't hear him) Friday and Saturday nights, and got up with him when he cried. Strangely enough, he only got up once each night, which leads us to believe he hates the hard sides of his crib (he goes all over the place in his sleep) and prefers the softer sided port-a-crib. One problem solved, hopefully!
So that helped me A LOT, but I am still having a lot of trouble nursing on one side (the same side I had mastitis) and am considering weaning Nathan early. I feel like such a failure about this, since I had no problems with the other two. It is just so excruciatingly painful that I don't know what else to do. There is (of course) no La Leche League here, and I don't know where else to turn, since I know more than the "lactation specialist" at the base.

Any thoughts?

Sally, when you say you have problems nursing on one side, what exactly do you mean? Is the baby not latching on correctly, are you not seeming to produce enough milk from that breast, etc? The reason I ask specifics is I *might* be able to help you since I think I've encountered every problem imaginable through my nursing my son for nine months, my twins for five, and now my last one (going strong at three months - but we'll see what happens). Janet is so very right- in the absence of a local Le Leche League, "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" is the Bible of nursing - if you haven't read it try to find a copy! So you don't feel too guilty here's my experiences:

My son WOULD NOT nurse when he was born. The child was just not latching on. He also had a nasty case of reflux (which we figured out in retrospect although it was never diagnosed at the time). I was a virtual zombie for his first SIX months! He wouldn't take a bottle either, so I literally had to feed him through a medicine dropper like an orphaned kitten! I tried going to a lactation consultant that my pediatrician recommended - she didn't help at all (talk about a wasted $65). In desperation one night I called a friend from church who I had always thought of as this "earth mother" type. That dear woman immediately called the leader of a Le Leche League group who called me within minutes to tell me it was alright and we would figure something out. What helped at that moment more than anything was being told that it was OK and the problem could be fixed - what a relief to my exhausted body and mind! Ultimately I had to quit nursing when Alex was nine months old because his first surgery messed things up - he was in incredible pain and would clench his teeth while nursing (he had sharp little baby teeth at that point) and the pain was causing me to flinch and yelp which scared Alex and made both of us on edge.

My twin daughters were difficult because there were two of them . They played tag team waking me up to nurse and my life was truly miserable. I had to pump out breastmilk for them while I stayed at the hospital with my son (his other surgeries) and by the time they were four months old I was pumping out six ounces of milk from each breast every three hours!!!! My body simply couldn't keep up with that production for very long (even taking two prenatal vitamins a day and eating like a horse). So, after I got so weak I contracted pneumonia, my doctor and I decided that if my kids were going to have a mom at all, I needed to wean my little daughters. It was sad for me to do this but a relief at the same time. I think once it becomes a feeling of relief to quit then it's probably time to quit....

This last child is the only one that I have not had a single problem nursing to date. Unlike the others she nursed within minutes of birth and has been great ever since. My milk production has been able to keep up with her (although at three months she is HUGE - in size 9 months clothing!!!) and the little angel actually sleeps for eight hours at a time during the night now - something none of my kids did so early.

Sally, if you end up deciding to wean, right down the reasons you feel weaning is right vs why you feel guilty. It might help you realize what the best decision is and work through your problems and/or your guilt. I felt sad every time I weaned my children but at the same time I knew I was very justified for my own health and safety. I have to add that with all three of my first children I had nursing difficulties on my right side. I don 't know why I had these problems, but I did , and it was ALWAYS on that one side! Anyway, if you can tell me specifically what problem you are having on that side I might be able to give you some advice (maybe).

Jennifer

OK, you mentioned it is excruciatingly painful to nurse on the one side. To get down to the nitty gritty, is it the let-down that is hurting, is it your nipple or is it just an all over constant pain? If it is the first or the last problem I would visit your ob/gyn - you might have an abcess in your breast (if your mastitis never truly resolved). If it is nipple pain then I know EXACTLY how you feel. Since you've nursed before you know how to tell if the baby is latched on correctly. If he is latched on correctly and you are still having pain then go out and by some Lanolin immediately. With my daughters I was actually cracked open and bleeding and the pain was so awful I would cry while I nursed them for about two months. I finally used Lanolin after every nursing for only two days and the problem resolved! It is really great stuff!!! Anyway, I don't know specifically what type of pain you are having, but if it is one of the types I listed that is what I would do in a similar situation....

Jennifer

[mommax3]

Thanks everyone for your responses. I think things are a little better and my husband (who is my OB/GYN for all practical purposes) and I are thinking that the mastitis might not be completely cleared up -- we are waiting to decide for sure.

I do have The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and another book by Kathleen Huggins (can't remember the name) and they have been such wonderful resources since I had my oldest son 7 years ago. I have been working hard to make sure that Nathan's positioning/latch on are not causing the problem and I think that is helping somewhat. I have been using Lansinoh fairly religiously. I think part of it is that he has one tooth that is just barely through his gum and it has been rubbing my nipple and causing the pain. If he gets a good latch (and doesn't lose it by looking around, etc.) then it doesn't bother me as much. The breast pain is after we get done nursing -- it is a burning pain in my breast that throbs and kind of comes and goes.

We are still hanging in there as of today! My oldest son nursed until he was 13 months, my second son until he was 21 months, so I am not going to give up very easily with this one since he is probably my last one. I do understand why people stop, though. It has never been effortless for me like it is for some people. My nipples have always cracked and bled in the beginning, but to have this much trouble at this point is kind of insulting!

I really, really appreciate all of your advice. I think I just needed to hear from some people who have been there.

Thanks.

Sally

I forgot that your husband was an ob/gyn, Sally! I hope things improve!!

Jennifer

[houseelf]

Sally,

You have received wonderful advice already, so there is not too much more that I could possibly add, except to offer you more praise for your perserverence. Breastfeeding for 8 months is an enormous accomplishment, so go easy on yourself. BF is a relationship that evolves differently with each child. While I wholeheartedly recommend breastfeeding, you have to taken into the entire family's needs, not just the baby's needs. In other words, don't berate yourself for whatever decision that you need to make. There are lots of wonderful mothers out there who never even contemplated putting their baby to their breast.

If you do decide to ride this problem out, however, try breaking the problem into more manageable pieces. Every time that I felt like quitting because of some problem (i.e. lack of sleep, infection, low production) I would promise myself to keep going for two more weeks and then decide. Generally, after two weeks, the problem seemed more manageable. This got us through over 11 months of exclusive breast milk.

Unfortunately, however, I ended up quitting at a year because of social pressure. (i.e. Are you going to wean that kid yet?) Looking back, I wish that I had more confidence in my parenting decisions back then and that I knew people who were more supportive of whatever decision I made. But I guess that this is another post for another day.

Nonetheless, I'm hoping that you and Nathan and the whole family find a solution that works for you all soon. Best of luck.

Kelly

Sally,

Did everything sort itself out with this?

Kris
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."

Douglas Adams

[mommax3]

Thanks for asking, Kris -- yes and no! I still have trouble on one side off and on, especially when he is teething. I came to the conclusion after a while that my bra was too small and getting a bigger one without underwires has helped quite a bit. I have come to terms with nursing not being so easy this time, but things are a lot better and hopefully I will make it 3 more months, until I can wean him to cow's milk. The process of weaning will probably merit a thread of posts all its own......my husband and I are going to Hawaii for a week in October, and I am already stressing about getting Nathan weaned by then. The past few days, he has been refusing all food except for Ritz crackers -- up until now, he enjoyed all sorts of baby food. He's not an easy baby! But he sure is cute.....

Anyway, there's the update!

Sally