Is Mom the official "emotional punching bag"

[SueC]

I had a realization yesterday--it seems to me that part of the job as a mother is to be the "emotional punching bag" to anybody who happens to be having a bad day. Pretty much all of the kids were in rotten moods for the whole day, and I swear I got nothing but lip and attitude from them. I can rationalize that I am the safest person for them to take it out on, since they know at the end of the day I love them regardless of how they behave, but this just doesn't seem fair!! And I was thinking back to my own childhood and realizing that my sisters and I did this to my mom basically until we were adults. We didn't do it to my dad, nor do my kids do it to theirs. On the one hand, I can rationalize that they are having a bad day, and their little brains don't know what to do with that so they turn around and fight with me and each other. But, seriously, is this the only way? Am I destined to another 20 years or so of this???
Here is a "smiley" representation of my day yesterday:
:argue: :thud: :argue: :c

[mommax3]

I totally get what you are saying, Sue. It happens around here, too. The other thing that I find is that I take my children's troubles so seriously (although I try to hide this from them) and I worry about them/think about them during the day when they are having a rough time.....it takes a lot of emotional energy! I do this to some extent with DH, too, when he is having a rough time for whatever reason. BUT.....I know my kids don't give a rat's ass when *I* am having a rough time, and although DH is a little more supportive, I don't think he loses any sleep over worrying about me.

This must just be part of the joys of motherhood? Or maybe I am just a little bitter because I have been sick for the past week and have still carried on as usual. (In his defense, DH has been sick as well.....but not AS sick!)

Anyway, I don't want to become the "mother-as-martyr" stereotype, but I do feel that I am supposed to absorb what everyone throws at me, with no good way to get rid of it all.

Sally

One word.
Grandchildren.

[Sheherezade]

I get what all three of you are saying!

Yes, I am the one that gets dumped on by everyone.

Yes, I worry about everyone and try to help everyone, but I don't feel as though they worry about me that much.

And...yes. I think when the kids have their own kids, they'll "get it" and the cycle will be complete.


I'd love to avoid the martyr mommy bit, but I don't think it's possible. I try to take care of myself now more when I have time and not feel guilty about it. I'm all about the "small rewards". When I've had a particularly frustrating day with the kids, I'll turn up the patience and stop by the coffee shop for a small coffee (a treat) or pick up a magazine/paperback for myself in the grocery line. Or....get out by myself for a walk with my iPod after DH is home and the kids are asleep. That usually keeps me going.

I hope today is better. Those emoticons look brutal.