A pregnant hypochondriac

Well, ladies, I am hoping that some of you can calm my fears and tell me that what I am doing is completely normal. I have a zillion and one questions! So, please, bear with me!

1. When do you think we should tell our parents? Two home tests were positive and then yesterday (following a completely disastrous hypochondriac episode) I went to a clinic and they also took a positive test. I have an appointment with who I think will be our OB-GYN next week. My husband is leaning towards waiting until that appointment. Of course, I am bursting at the seams. And then, HOW do you tell your parents?! Hi Mom and Dad, guess what?

2. Is it normal to fear that you have somehow contracted every deadly disease in the world in the last week and will somehow pass this on to the baby? I am so scared that my doctor will discover all of these problems with me (which no other doctor has discovered to this date, of course! ) or that somehow this baby is not going to make it to the appointment. I know that a lot of pregnancies end in miscarriage so I am getting really paranoid.

Something really uncanny just happened that I believe has answered my question regarding whether to tell my family or not! My sister just emailed me - in her email she wrote "I had a dream last night that you told me you were pregnant! It was so real! It was a girl! You better go take a pregnancy test!!" How can I NOT tell her?? She will be bugging me for days and I already felt weird about answering her email and not really responding to that. I've heard that theory about how twins feel things - and we are not twins but man, if you could see us together you would think we were!

[DCJenn]

Claudia-

You need to chill, girlfriend. You're going to make yourself sick!

Tell your sister under penalty of death if she tells your parents before you do. That way, you've told someone and the pressures on her to Not Tell.

Now, having never been pregnant (to my knowledge anyway!) I'm sure you must be having tons of OMG thoughts. But remember, millions of women have done this and you are now part of that illustrious sisterhood. Be strong and tell yourself that you are now completing one of the most fascinating and mysterious things you will ever do. Step back and enjoy the moment! Don't bother stressing about stuff you can't do anything about anyway!

Jenn

[Phoebe]

Claudia- I think Jenn is right. You better tell someone like your sister. When is the right time to spill the beans? Each couple only knows when it is right for them. I have known people to wait until the first trimester is over and others to say right away.

I understand how you must be reeling at the thought of being pregnant. I remember that scared, "oh my gosh" feeling all too well. I couldn't get over that I was pregnant. It was so exciting. For me, I couldn't wait to tell. I called everyone I knew as soon as the blood test was back. My husband was a little more reserved about letting people know, especially at work, of course he told all of his family right away.

Good luck! Once the idea of pregnancy settles in, you will relax a little bit.

Jennifer

[houseelf]

Claudia--

That is weird about your sister....although I completely believe in that sixth sense stuff.

Anyway, here is the truth. Babies, for the most part, are heartier than they look. I was 9 weeks pregnant before I realized it. During that time, I drank wine, coffee, beer, took aspirin, and ran 15-20 miles a week. I FREAKED out just knowing that my baby would be deformed because of all of this. I demanded extra ultrasounds to count arms and legs. Let me tell you, he is about as close to perfection as they come. Seriously, I'm not suggesting that you be cavalier with what you do, but women have had chemotherapy and delivered normal babies. Hopefully, this is a modicum of reassurance for you.

With this being said, I am the worst compulsive worrier/planner, so I harbor no delusions that you will heed this advice, because I wouldn't. Seriously, as much as you can....just enjoy!

Kelly

Claudia,

1. Thomas and I told our parents within...well....ten minutes of taking the tests every time. I know that sounds silly, but we were both just so excited that we couldn't wait. The funny thing is that my mom also already "new" when I was pregnant with Andrew (my first) without me saying it. I was living in Germany at the time and I called her and said "hi Mom" and her response was "you are pregnant, aren't you" She just 'knew' somehow.

2. Worrying is actually normal during pregnancy...what you are going through many before you have been through as well. I remember worrying with my first pregnancy because we'd been out to a get-together and had had alcohol AND because I'd been on a course of antibiotics....I didn't think that I was pregnant and hadn't thought about it...so I spend months worrying that I'd somehow damaged my child....I also worried about every possible thing that could go wrong, including illness myself.....the only comfort that I had was that many of my pregnant girlfriends were going through the same thing!

I know it's easy for me to say, but relax and enjoy this miraculous time in your life. Go and get a book with pictures of babies at every stage of fetal development and start imagining what you baby looks like right now...if memory serves, you guys are in the worm-like stage

Kris
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."

Douglas Adams

[Phoebe]

Claudia- Kelly is right, babies are tough. Like, Kelly and Kris mentioned, I before it was confirmed I was pregnant, I had x-rays, drank alcohol and took migraine medicine that was class c and on the not to do list. Avery is perfectly healthy and precious. It is normal to worry. This anxiety sets you up for the rest of your life being a parent! Enjoy this time. I am so excited for you.

Jennifer

[Meenah]

Claudia,
I told everyone I knew within 30 minutes!!!!!
I also worried about everything. I remember sitting in traffic and holding my nreath because the truck in front of me had a lot of horrible exhaust!!!!!! HOW SICK!!!!!!!!!!!
If I ever saw something abnormal I would tell myself it was God preparing me for the future. Lighten up and ENJOY your pregnancy.
My girls are both PERECT.
Luanne

1. My mom found out about my first pregnancy before my husband did. She had taken me to her doctor because I didn't have one in the area and I was deathly ill. Turned out the illness was quite treatable but the doc wanted to know if I could be pregnant before he'd prescribe. I knew that we hadn't exactly been careful around that time period so I took a pregnancy test - thinking of it as a mere formality. I was speechless when he came back in the room and LOUDLY announced "Congratulations, you are a mother!" He said it so loudly that my mother heard out in the waiting room! I don't think she was terribly thrilled. I was only 20 and my husband was a pizza boy at the time and we were both college students. So, the point of my rambling story is: I wish my mom had been told by ME rather than through an accident of fate. Try very hard to have a bit of control over who you tell and when ("when" being whenever you feel like it).

2. You will be a mess of worries for the next 18 to 48 years. You are now entering motherhood full of paranoia: from what if I fall down on my stomach when I'm pregnant to what if I drop the baby because I'm so exhausted to my baby is going to college - she'll burn down the dorm trying to cook! Ahhhhh, motherhood! My advice is to go buy a few books that will make you a little more secure in some ways and, at the same time, will open up a whole new world of things to be paranoid about. Feel free to ask any questions!

Jennifer

What great news Claudia!!!! I am so excited for you. Now, you need to calm down and enjoy the moment. As soon as I got a positive pregnancy test I ran out and bought a baby name book, prenatal book and two pacifiers, one pink and one blue. I boxed each up and mailed one each to my parents and to Russ' parents without a note or anything and then I waited for them to call me. It about killed me waiting but they were SO excited!

I remember being absolutely paranoid about the NyQuil I had taken before I found out I was pregnant. You will be fine. Everyone had such great advice above that there isn't much for me to add but I am excited for you. That is cool about your sister's dream. I would tell her and then swear her to secrecy until you can tell your parents. ENJOY!!!!!!!

Robin

Claudia, that is wonderful!!! Congratulations!!! I told my mom within minutes of taking the test, two days after my first missed periodd. We'd been trying to get pregnant for almost a year, so I was not going to wait to tell her. My husband opted to wait to tell his parents until he was visiting them in person a couple of months later.

The first thing I bought was a wind up musical Winnie The Pooh stuffed toy.

I worried about everthing too, from whether the hot bath I'd taken pre-test had hard boiled my baby to contact with cats and to getting a bizarre tropical illness from someone on the subway. I think it's natural, because you want the very best for your baby. Just relax and enjoy!

I'm feeling really *(&@&@ right now. I have NO idea what is going on with my body and it is freaking me out. Some background on me: I am usually NEVER sick and I wince at the slightest pinch on my body. So, I am noticing every and I mean every single twinge, pull, ache, hot flash, etc feeling in this body right now. And my emotions are soooo out of whack. I was as high as a kite this morning and now I feel as if I'm a candidate for depression. My arms keep getting really hot and achy - hot flash? - and sometimes I feel like I want to - thank goodness I don't - and I was very crampy in the abdomen this morning but it's OK this afternoon. Is this all normal??? And this is for nine months??? Wow. S/he better be super cute and healthy! I don't know if s/he will be having any brothers and sisters after this! And gawsh, I miss MY mommie. She was so incredible on the phone this morning. She was a fountain of advice and encouragement - she's also beyond excited and ready to storm the mall in search of the cutest baby clothes and toys. How I love that woman. My sister is also being endearing - she emails me several times warning me of "dangers" - we're going to a concert tonight and she wrote "do NOT stand near anyone who is smoking!"
So, that is the update for today. Not a great day. Hopefully tonight will be better. Thank you all so much for this board. It really means a lot that I can come here and talk to you all. My hubby isn't realizing how difficult this is yet and how hard it is to be away from everyone . . . and so much harder when I page him and want to talk about it and I get "I have to go scrub in" I know he would do anything in the world and is absolutely beyond excited, but well you know! He doesn't have something growing inside of his body!

Congratulations!!! I wish you the best in your pregnancy. I never know what a good time is to tell family. My family is weird about things like anyone one of us girls having babies. So, we wait a long to tell them... haha!! With my husband's family, they get more enthused with telling them, so we told them about 8-10 weeks into the pregnancy. Again, I wish you the best.

Christy

Quote: I boxed each up and mailed one each to my parents and to Russ' parents without a note or anything and then I waited for them to call me. It about killed me waiting but they were SO excited!


What a NEAT way of telling them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Kris
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."

Douglas Adams