School conferences.....HEAVY SIGH!

Kris,

I'm sorry you have had some bad experiences with the school psychologists / therapists. I can understand how that would play into any decision about seeking them out in the future. That makes sense. To that I would add that maybe a different set of professionals (with a different child with different needs) might yield the possibility of a better outcome than previous experiences. Just a possibility.

Jenn / Rapunzel - I guess my reply / reaction to your thoughts would be as follows. Not all psychologists are ill-equipped to address strategies for learning and some do make that a substantial part of their practice. Also, for those who do have expertise in that realm, I would think that those individuals would be able to help determine (with the detailed information Kris could share and psychometric means) if a learning style issue, learning disability, neither or a combination of both are issues.

And aside from the learning issues, a psychologist could help explore the dynamics of being frustrated at school, worrying about a parent's health, etc.

And I think that one doesn't need to have a "problem" or be operating out of the bounds of "normal" to benefit from some of the things a psychologist MIGHT be able to offer. So, when I say a psychologist might be helpful, I'm not saying that because I think Amanda is learning disabled or has psychological problems or challenges.

[Flynn]

Kevin -- wow.

I was logging on specifically to comment on this thread and you have summed up basically what I think --- MUCH better than I could ever have done.

So -- ditto to what Kevin said.

Hang in there Kris. There has to be someone in your area both qualified and commited to help your daughter. Good luck.

[PrincessFiona]

Well, I bit the bullet and called the pediatric neuropsychologist's office in our area. (There is only one group here that does neuropsych testing and ONE psychologist who specializes in children and learning issues.). The waitlist is 6 months. The office said that they'll send out paperwork...we have to fill it out and have the school and all of her teachers fill out and return all paperwork for us to get on the waiting list. OH...and we have to get in and see the pediatrician and get an offical 'referral' first.

I said that I wanted to try and set something up before school starts next year and they said that they didn't think it would be possible. Holy COW! I can't believe that the wait is that long...I don't want to go to anyone else though. Since I already feel apprehensive, I think that seeing an 'expert' is the best way to go.

kris

[Phoebe]

Kris- Sounds like you are taking some good first steps. The fact that you are such an advocate for Amanda will help her in the long run. Pinpointing Amanda's learning style should help her tremendously. I am a kinestethic learner and I am pretty sure that my oldest daughter is as well.

I agree with Kevin on this one. I am not all for the labeling, but I think a child psychologist or school psychologist can be benefical to separate any emotional issues, behavioral issues or stress Amanda is going through right now from potential learning problems Maybe the pediatric neuropsychologist's office will have a cancellation, you could ask to be put on a waiting list or a call list.

Hope you get some resolution soon.

Jennifer

Wow. 6 months! Wow.

[PrincessFiona]

Well, maybe we'll get lucky and get off of the list sooner...unfortunately, this isn't a large metropolitan area and there aren't unlimited resources for this kind of thing. Also, it appears that there is a huge need.

[Vanquisher]

http://www.familyeducation.com/quiz/...-29225,00.html

Check out this link. It is kind of an interesting quiz. There are others online, as well, that you can take to discover what kind of learner you are or your child is.

[PrincessFiona]

Thanks for the additional feedback. I've thought more about this and I have realized that I, also, am more of a tactile learner after reading about this. DH always laughed at my study habits....I am the one who has to outline the chapter, then type it..then draw pictures and concept maps of ideas etc so that I can understand them. I can't, for example, just read about transcription/translation...I have to draw it out step by step coloring in the appropriate enzymes etc in diff. colors, etc. I even went as far sometimes to go to the craft store to buy things to 'make' as study aids...

I kind of enjoy my way now, actually...and when it comes to test time, I can even remember exactly which page I drew my diagram on to study and the colors that I used, etc.

DH can just read something and...he knows it.

Realizing this...and the fact that I was able to be successful has helped me to calm down. I have been thinking about the fact that I know some successful techniques that have helped me and maybe they will be helpful to her. She is very artistic and so she might even have fun with it.

I'm just going to try and take a couple of days to figure out an approach and a place to start.

I feel much more confident today that we can definitely DO something...and I think my huge anxiety before was this feeling of helplesness.

I wish the teacher had come forward with this information sooner, but at least we know now.

kris

[DCJenn]

Kris-

I am the exact same way- if I read it, forget it. But if I write it down with whatever wierd drawings or abbreviations I need, I can remember the picture of what I drew. What's even wierder is that I don't remember the information, I remember the drawing or page ot whatever and then 'scan' the drawing in my memory.

Hey, I managed to get through, too.

Jenn

PS- This is also my theory about why languages and geometry/algebra were so hard for me to learn- because you can't really diagram a word and redrawing symbols didn't work.[/b]

[PrincessFiona]

Jenn...it's kind of a relief to realize these things. I'm the same way too about remembering the drawing/scanning the page For me, language learning by immersion was the 'only' way....(I think it's the best way for everyone, actually...but I'm biased). I loved geometry proofs...it was my favorite part of math ever...I loved figuring out all of the 'rules' and then trying to apply them to a problem....but things like trig really stumped me because I was never able to draw the object the way it was described. I could do the calculations properly but on the wrong figure....so it was always wrong. My teachers used to marvel at how ridiculously 'off' my pictures were from how I was 'supposed' to draw them.

Did you come up with your own meaningful symbols, too. I kind of have my own classification of symbols that help me categorize things.

kris

[Gwendolyn]

Kris...

If you do work with a psychologist/psychiatrist, it might be helpful for you to ask what philosophy of therapy s/he follows. It is a great way to know what to expect in the future...will this person work with you to develop techniques for Amanda? or will s/he make fatalistic predictions (Andrew). Maybe some parents need a "wakeup call", but clearly you are not there. My husband would die if he heard me, but psych is just like medicine. You want a doctor that aligns with your philosophy...If I want pain meds and surgery, I won't go to a chiropractor.

Amanda should have an IEP (Individual Education Plan) that would be designed by the school psychologist, maybe a social worker (depending on school protocol), you, and her teacher. That may (again depending on the school) label her as "special ed," but it is a way for you to keep tabs on her and also her teacher. It holds the teacher accountable for making sure Amanda gets the type of instruction she needs. An IEP can include not only instructional technique, but also therapy support (I agree that is probably a component).

Again...

[Meenah]

Caitlein,
I was thinking the same thing about the IEP. Definitely well worth it. Then they can't put their heads in the sand and ignore you Kris.
Luanne

Is private school an option ideologically/financially?

If so, perhaps you should give it some serious thought, especially based on your daughter's years of unsatisfactory schooling experiences. My sister is a fourth grade teacher in a prosperous suburb, she is very dedicated, works 10-12 hours a day . . . and I know she couldn't manage most of the things you would like from your daughter's teacher. The class size, the rise of homework in elementary schools (creation of assignments and grading of them), and miniscule prep time given to teachers usually does not allow for ongoing communication and personalized attention.

My sister has explained to me that she, and every other traditional public school teacher with a standard class size, has no choice but to teach to the middle. She would love to spend one-on-one time with the stragglers and create more specialized activities for the gifted kids, but there is no way she can do that unless she neglects the other 80% of the class. Her opinion has always been that small, private schools are much better for atypical learners or children who for whatever reason are in danger of getting left behind academically (her second choice is public school special ed services for part of the day though her view is that there is a serious stigma with that among the child's peers that can be very harmful - - esp. if self-esteem was linked to the poor performance in the first place).

Is there a montessori or other private school you can enroll your daughter in? I certainly wouldn't bring this up if what you described was one bad year - - the problem seems much more pervasive and its hard to see what is going to change this year that hasn't in her past four or five years of public schooling. Obviously, you are the expert on your daugher and her school situation. But as an outside observer I kept on having the thought as you described her school history that this sounded a little like a square peg/round hole issue, perhaps requiring a more fundamental change in approach.