first steps ( 1

[mommax3]

My little guy took his first steps today -- exciting, but kind of bittersweet. It was cute because he was trying to get to me -- my other boys took their first steps just trying to get around more quickly. Anyway, I just wanted to share it with all of you!

Sally

[Meenah]

Congratulations, I miss those days.
Luanne

[houseelf]

Oh, Sally, this is an awesome milestone. I'm sure that you want every stage to last a little bit longer with this one since he might be your last. They grow up way too fast.<sigh>

Kelly

[Phoebe]

Sally- How exciting for your family!

Jennifer

What? Good Grief, Sally...it seems like he was just born! How exciting for you...it is so bittersweet, isn't it?!

Do you think that this is your last baby or will you guys be considering one more? (I'm not sure how that relates to the topic, but I've been meaning to ask you for awhile)..

Kris

[mommax3]

Kris,

Funny you should ask, as the topic has really been on my mind lately. I don't want to be pregnant, give birth, or nurse again, but I still have that yearning for more kids -- and to be honest, I would love to have some girls. I just don't feel ready to be done.

Lately I have been looking at international adoption sites on the internet. We may explore this after Travis gets out of the Air Force in three years. Travis' brother and his wife adopted a little girl domestically last fall (they have fertility problems) and they went through a crisis pregnancy center -- they applied at the end of July and had their little one 3 months later! It wasn't as expensive as you usually hear, either. Their adoption was fairly "open" and my heart really broke for the birth mother -- having recently had a baby myself (at the time) I found myself really identifying with her. After that experience, I realized that it would be hard for me to adopt that way -- I would almost feel like I should give the birth mother money so that she could keep her baby! So international adoption would maybe be a better option for us.

But it is all theoretical at this point.....

I had such an unhappy year last year that I don't want that to be my last memory of mothering a baby. I am having a hard time separating what was due to moving so close to Nathan's birth, and what was due strictly to childbirth and the postpartum period. Nathan was definitely NOT an easy baby, and my husband says that considering the children we "spawn" (nice word, huh) he is content to be done. I really, really see his point.......

but there is still a tug at my heart where babies are concerned.

We'll see!

Thanks for asking -- you probably found out more than you wanted to know!

Sally

Sally,

It is so fun when they take those first steps. They are so adorable. Enjoy this stage!!!

Robin

[SueC]

Sally, I can totally identify with you about wanting more kids but not wanting to be pregnant or nursing again! For the past 3.5 years I have either been pregnant or nursing (we had our girls 20 months apart). I don't want to be done having kids yet, but I love the age difference between the girls. Since our baby is turning one in only 8 more days, if I wanted to keep with that age difference I'd have to get pregnant right now. I stopped breastfeeding on Friday, and I want my body back for at least a year. I think your adoption idea is a great idea--since my husband is Asian, I always wanted to adopt a little girl from China, but there is no way we could handle the expense right now. Maybe I'll keep that idea on the back burner!

Oh man! Count me in the "Can't stand being pregnant but love kids" Club!!! I really, really could see myself having a whole HUGE herd of children - but I cannot STAND being pregnant. I am just now getting back down to my previous size not to mention the fact that I get so incredibly ILL when I am pregnant and that's really hard on everyone in the family - not just me. I've seriously contemplated adoption over the years and Jon is coming around to the idea. I still want to have two more pregnancies, but after that I want to adopt one or two children - probably through an international adoption. I'm one of those people that can work myself up into a real guilty, crying, emotional avalanche when I think of how many children in the world suffer - particularly those with disabilities. My husband's brother was severly brain-damaged and I shudder to think what would've happened to him had he been abondoned or orphaned. I've got a few years to think about it....

Jennifer

Good friends of my mother's adopted a little girl from China. Apparently 100,000 little baby girls are abandoned each year in China because they are girls. The adoption was easier than another friend's boy from Russia. I think these people paid about $3500 for expenses to get their little Sarah from China. Maybe it's worth looking into. I've thought this would be something I wanted to do, but now that we have two girls, my husband wants to try for number 3. After a dangerous delivery with twins (I almost bled to death), I am very nervous to go through the whole thing again. I had preeclampsia, gained 125 pounds (none of it fat, as I lost it all within 3 weeks post partum). So, I'm sitting her saying No to my husband's request out of fear and logic. I am 41, he's 43, we waited until the end of residency to have children, and at that time got two wonderful girls at the same time. It's a complicated issue, isn't it? At the same time a logical, emotional, and physical response.

[Amiens]

Aww that is great!
My seven and a half month old daughter, Emma, is crawling everywhere. It's amazing to see how much she has changed and grown in the past few months and the leaps and bounds she will make in the upcoming weeks. I go to a step aerobics class three times a week, and while I am in class Emma attends their "Kids Club" (sitter service). There is a girl that is a couple of months older than Emma, and she crawls on her hands and feet. Since going, Emma has picked up on that too, although Emma just pushes up to her hands and feet and will move her feet in one spot. Sniff sniff they are growing up way too fast....

Congrats your little guy's accomplishment.

Someone mentioned about the pregnancy/nursing for 3.5 years. We are getting ready to head down that road. Matt and I have been talking about starting to try for #2. I am nervous, but comforted at the same time. My nervousness is "Oh my goodness, we REALLY will have a family now." I am the oldest of two, so when I think of a family of four, my subconscious is going "you're done!" However we want at least 4 children, and the plan is to have Emma and the second child about 18-20 months apart and then wait 3 years before having another one.


Crystal

Sally,

I hear you about the unhappy year. After my daughter was born I had a post-partum depression and her first year of life was really unhappy for me..I still look back on that time and feel terrible about it and wonder if it has had negative affects on her. Finny and I are often like two pieces of sand paper rubbing together and I feel very guilty about it. I think it was very healing for me to have Alex because we had a really smooth transition post-partum and things were just more enjoyable. I am glad that I had that time....

For me, pregnancy and nursing (except for the last two months of pregnancy) were the best times in my life...I think that hormonally, something was right for me about that...I have a strong desire to have another baby...and yet at the same time, I confess feeling overwhelmed with the brood that I have :/ We are having discipline problems and in general, Thomas and I are feeling at a parenting low point because we're struggling to have couple time and get that "control" of our little offspring. I find that I've been 'reacting' to situations instead of thinking things through and being the parent and I feel miserable about it. The other day, Alex let the dog out intentionally..he literally pushed her out the door, and I ran out in the backyard screaming obscenities at the dog and myself and kicked a bucket in the yard (yes, I'm a total freak!)...and our nice neighbors saw me I felt like such a loser! I've been feeling exhausted and exasperated lately... I must be completely off my rocker to still be considering a baby....and what about the possibility of a career for me? The distance between a potential baby and my youngest (4 years)?There are so many questions....How do you all go about answering those questions or making those decisions?

I love the idea of international adoption. My mom does missionary work in Honduras and she works with children in an orphanage there when she goes.....they are so desperate for homes!

It is such a relief to see that others are working through similar issues....I have meant to ask about this for awhile.

I am looking forward to hearing the announcements around here over the next few months with all of the thinking about this that has been going on


Kris

[houseelf]

Kris,

Last I heard, it takes more than thinking to create a baby. In fact, feeling rather than thinking may be the only way that anyone ever really tries to have a child. So let's all get crackin'!

Maybe we should make some sort of school girl pact, you know, I'll try it if you do.

Kelly
Edited by: kmbsjbcgb at: 8/21/02 10:25:20 am

I wholeheartedly agree with the "hate to be pregnant and breastfeeding" part of having another baby. Part of me would love another baby ... especially a girl, but the idea of going through the pregnancy ... I get really sick too and gain so much weight! I was bedridden with my last one for a month and there is a good chance it could happen again.

Kris, I can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed with the children you already have. I have the same thing going on. The same disciplinary issues and not feeling like I am handling things well. YET ... there is something in me that wants just one more. I must be nuts!!!! My husband would certainly think I was. I even gave away most of the baby clothes, breast pump, car seat etc.

I have considered adoption but my husband doesn't want to go that route. He would rather we had another baby, which makes me laugh being that I have to do all the work!!!! The door is still open.

Robin

Sue, I also describe it as an "alien" feeling when the baby starts moving around and you can SEE it moving. I talk to the babies in-utero as well because, well heck, I can SEE them in there! Anyway, it is a weird feeling that I've never quite gotten used to (even after three pregnancies!).

Janet, you gained 125 pounds during the girls' pregnancy!?! Good grief, woman! No wonder you had complications!!! I gained a meesly 70 lbs with my daughters and that threw me into toxemia! I am truly amazed that you survived - having felt what it's like to gain about half of the weight you did (thought I was going to just die right then and there). Anyway, WOW!

Jennifer