Pink or blue?

[Michele]

Did you or do you plan to find out the gender of the baby before birth?

It seems like I'm getting *some* (not a lot) flack for not wanting to know. I think it's a neat surprise....others think we should plan and who wants a baby in green?

I also kinda think it would suck to think it's one and then oops, they were wrong...it's the other.

Anyway, throw me your vote.

[Vanquisher]

Michelle, I don't think that they are wrong a lot these days, though everyone seems to know someone for whom they got it wrong. With both my ultrasounds, it was proof positive. Even I could see the kickstand for the first and the hamburger bun on the second.

For me, it was just a suprise a little earlier than it would have been in the delivery room. This way I got to plan, and not only that but to prepare myself emotionally to welcome each child. I wanted a girl like crazy, and I was a little disappointed at first to be having a boy the first go around, but I too the rest of my pregnancy and focused on all the wonderful things about having a boy.

I was definitely glad to have known both times, and it was still a suprise that dh and I shared, just in the ultrasound room and not the delivery room.

Also, there are plenty of other suprises. What will they look like? What kind of personality will they have?

I've never been good with wait though. Really, I loved knowing.

[spotty_dog]

We haven't decided. I think right now my preference is that, assuming the ~18 week fetal morphology scan is indicated, we will let them tell us if they see something obvious, but if nothing is apparent we will not go to great lengths -- extending the scan or making extra appointments -- just for the sex.

I think that even if we know, I want to keep it between us so that our announcements can have their full impact: It's A....!!!

Gender neutral can be super cute! So far I am knitting a blanket in lemon, lime, orange, lilac, and purple. I've done a gorgeous little hat with turquoise trim, mostly yellow with lavender and turquoise stripes. And I've done a pair of turquoise socks that are just the tiniest adorablest things you've ever seen.

[JaneDoe]

We're waited to find out the gender with our dd. It was really nice to hear those words - "It's a girl". To be candid, however, at 4:00 am and after laboring hard for 5 hours I probably wouldn't of cared if they told me "It's a cat". It didn't really bother me not knowing the gender while I was pg. I was more preoccupied with whether she was healthy.

We're also waiting to find out the gender with this baby (only 2 1/2 weeks to go!). However, I sometimes wish we already knew if this baby is a boy or girl. I'm a little more curious this time around, I guess. DH is adament about not knowing. Under no circumstances does he want to find out. I'm going in for an ultrasound today because my fundal height is measuring a little small, and at this stage gender is easily observed. But, we'll probably tell the tech that we've waited this long, we'll wait a couple more weeks.

ETA: We also got a lot of flack from family, mine in particular, for not wanting to know. I didn't care, though, it was our choice. They eventuallly backed off. Also, with regard to the green/yellow theme. It's true, most clothing gifts we received were green/yellow. But, the clothing gifts were usually sizes 0-3 months and some 3-6 months. So, our dd didn't wear too much green and yellow. After she was born, it was fun to go out buy girl clothing for her, too.

[planet]

Wow! Laura, you are actually the first time I have personally heard about the US being wrong. What a surprise!!

We were in the same situation as Alison where we said tell us if you see something, but had no intention of going for another US to determine gender. We knew both times.

Here's a perspective from another angle though. I have a friend here who is due in July. She and her husband decided to not learn the gender. It is true that there are gender neutral colors and gifts, but it makes it so you do have to ask first about what to get as gifts since some people don't want boys in yellow for example. No, it is not a big deal or a reason for parents to change their intentions, but just wanted to put it out as a thought. It is easier for family and friends to get gifts and plan with you.

Heidi is dead on. There are SO many surprises and new things when the little one comes along. My brother wanted to be surprised and SIL wanted to know. She found out and didn't tell him both times!

[migirl]

We also opted to find out with our little guy, I figured it was going to be a surprise either way so I might as well find out early and be able to plan! I'm not too big on being patient, either. If I can know, I WANT to know.

Interestingly, the down side that I found was that most people who gave us clothing bought things that screamed "BOY!!". I'm so tired of looking at light blue clothing now, that I put him in green/yellow as much as I can!

[fluffhead]

Absolutely - I can't stand when data is available and I don't have it.
It would drive me nuts to think that the U/S tech knows the gender of my child, and I am in the dark.

[Flynn]

We didn't find out with either child and it was a BLAST when we found out at the birth!!!! For us it just added to the joy of the moment and we couldn't imagine doing it any other way. (most people I know find out though and they would say the same thing. )

I DID NOT want to find out the first time with our daughter and DH said ok but he would have liked to know. The second time with our son DH said it was SO FUN the first time (being surprised) he really wanted to do the same thing and not find out. I was flexible the second time around -- if DH had strong feelings we could find out.

So we were surprised both times and it was great.
Choosing TWO names each time is challenging however!!!

We did not find out for either though I had a strong feeling that the first was a girl. Some people do get wierd about it.

I didn't want to find out for the first and DH didn't want to know on the second -- both times the other being ok with not knowing. It really is one of the few surprises you can't figure out. I tend to be impatient and usually figure out surprises, gifts, etc. I liked having this be a complete surprise.

As to gifts, I found that we received more baby gear than clothing because people didn't know the sex.

When DH did his ob/gyn rotation, he was at 2 deliveries where the u/s was wrong. Opposite reactions on those -- one couple still happy and rolled with it and one was pretty shocked.

[houseelf]

We found out both times because I'm an "eat dessert first" type of girl. I wish that I had more restraint because I think that there would be nothing cooler than that "It's a ____________" proclamation. I admire those of you who hold out.

I have to add that we sort of had feelings both times. I had a strong feeling that I was having a boy with the first and DH "knew" I was having a girl the second time around. Our initial ultrasounds didn't reveal ANYTHING at all. Still, DH wouldn't even talk about boy names because he knew it was a girl from day one. Weird.

Kelly

We told everyone we were "respecting the baby's privacy" and did not find out. I like the surprise - it's really one of the only surprises that are left in the world. I'll admit at the tail end of #2 I was wishing I'd found out ... but am glad in retrospect that we didn't. I go back and forth on whether or not I'd find out for #3 ... but I also go back and forth about a #3.

A tip -- even if you know, don't tell before your shower. If people can't go buy cute blue or pink things, they HAVE to stick to your registry and you actually get the stuff you need. I cleaned UP at my shower.

[houseelf]

A tip -- even if you know, don't tell before your shower. If people can't go buy cute blue or pink things, they HAVE to stick to your registry and you actually get the stuff you need. I cleaned UP at my shower.

Amen! This is so important. The clothes are the easiest thing to get. Besides, if you have a different gender in the future, there is very little to pass down.

Kelly

[Flynn]

We had a girl then a boy but because nobody knew what we were having we had a "gender neutral" wardrobe for basically the first year due to our first showers.

It came in handy when we ended up having one of each!

We found out early with DD. It was extremely obvious even before the tech pointed out all the girly bits. But I went in saying 'if you can't tell me for sure, don't tell me anything'. After we found out we called our family and did the whole "its a girl!" thing, and it was very fun. We didn't get only pink stuff, so that was really a non-issue. But when we have another, I'd really like to wait until the birth to find out. I want to experience the fun both ways.

It is amazing how many people feel comfortable getting into your business when you are pregnant. Having a kid is such an open invitation for advise.

[PrincessFiona]

They couldn't tell with Andrew (guessed tentatively at boy but said that they couldn't get the money shot...apparently, it was tucked between his legs. )

We found out with Amanda and then with Alex decided we'd go for the 'surprise' element...but..it was so obvious in the u/sound that we all laughed in recognition. Alex didn't want to hid it from us.

So...we kind of fell into a habit. With Aidan I wanted to know so that I could plan...

With this one we had decided on the element of surprise, but with so many ultrasounds (2/week) I got obsessed and gave in to my curiosity.

I think..it's great if you want to go for the surprise!!!!

kris