4 yr old's issues

[Phoebe]

Amy Denise or parents of former 4 yr olds-

Did your children go through phases around 4 yrs old where they were scared of everything and/or wanted you to do things for them that they could handle themselves (ie., dressing, going to the bathroom)?

I am trying to figure out if my daughter is going through a normal developmental stage or if something is bothering her. I can't think of anything that has changed recently. Mundane stuff she can do herself, she wants help with and things that don't normally bother her "scare her". She gets scared if her dad touches her bed. Is this a phase or cry for attention? I don't know if I should indulge her wanting help or being scared to go in a certain room, etc. I have been trying to compromise if she wants me to go to the bathroom with her, I stand outside the door instead of helping her. If this is a phase, I hope it passes quickly.

Jennifer

[SueC]

Gosh that sounds familiar.
Syd has become quit fearful over the past year and I guess I have gone ahead and indulged her fears. I was a scaredy-cat as a child (still am to an extent) so I remember how terrified I was to go downstairs by myself or be alone in part of the house by myself. I generally accompany her if she is afraid to go downstairs, but if she wants someone to go to the bathroom with her and we are at home, I generally encourage her to go by herself unless I really and truly have nothing better to do. I might remind her that I'm right outside if she needs me or whatever, but I really don't have time to be her bathroom buddy so I generally draw the line on that one.
One thing that has become quite irritating is she throws these huge fits if she is inadvertantly left in one part of the house by herself. I've solved that one by making sure she knows I'm about to leave the area and asking her if she wants to come with me.
I hope this is a phase that will be outgrown, because this kid is generally fearless in other areas, for instance she is extremely sociable and doesn't fear new situations at all.
Good luck, I'm finding the 4's to be just as complicated as all the other phases!!!

[Phoebe]

Thanks for the advice. I am treading in new waters here. My daughter is an anxious person and we have been indulging her fears and trying to give her coping skills. It seemed like it was a developmental thing, but sometimes I think she is looking for attention with the wanting help with the dressing.

Sometimes when I try to get her to explain her feelings, she acts silly or can't verbalize her true feelings. The other day at the park, she was afraid to socialize with kids, but then felt bad so I asked her why she was afraid and she said because her hair was messed up.

Jennifer

[SueC]

Well, I suppose a 4 year old can have a bad hair day... Syd's main excuse for not doing whatever out of fear is that "it's too boring". I guess maybe their little brains aren't mature enough to actually figure out why they are scared.