lovies

[mommax3]

Kelly,

My oldest was addicted to his pacifier(s) -- he preferred to suck on one and at the same time, squeeze one in each hand. Like you, I made him leave them in his bed (but I think he was older than your son when I made that rule), and when he turned three, I resolved not to buy any new ones -- so by 3 1/2, they were pretty much history, with very little drama. Don't stress about this one, despite the well-meaning comments you are bound to get. If he still has a scrap of blankie in his bed when he goes to kindergarten, so what? If he only gets his pacifier when he is napping or at night, his teeth won't be negatively impacted, either.

Sally

[SueC]

Ours is called "Dee-Da". My 2 year old named her blanket as soon as she could talk and we have no idea where the name came from. It is a crocheted blanket that used to be white but is now gray even after washing and it has several large holes in it. Dee-Da has taken on a personality, sometimes "she" cries, gets hungry, needs to go potty, or needs her hair brushed. She used to carry it with her everywhere--we tried setting limites like only having it in bed, but decided it wasn't worth the major battles we were having. She had a new baby sister so we figured maybe she needed it for security. She is slowly relying on it less and less, and often suggests when we go out that we just leave Dee-Da at home. When she does take it with her, I insist that she carry it, figuring that eventually she will see how inconvenient it is to bring the blanket. Also, since the blanket is crocheted, it is slowly unraveling. As much as I'd love to put Dee-Da away for good, I've decided to wait and see if she eventually gives it up on her own. Of course, I'm going to save it for her so when she is older she can see the disgusting blanket she used to carry everywhere she went! Oh yeah, I just realized you were looking for advice on how to get rid of the lovey--I guess I don't have a clue how to do that!

Tyler and Dallin are my blankie boys. None of them took a pacifier so I have no personal clue on that issue. The blankie was never that big of a deal to me. The only rule we had was that it has to stay in the house. Tyler's had so many holes in it that we took a picture of it and then took off the cute bears that my mother-in-law had sewn on and bought a new blanket the same color and sewed the bears back on. He didn't even notice. He is almost six and he doesn't need it anymore but occasionally will want to sleep with it. Dallin has to sleep with his and he is always dragging it around the house.

My nephew carried his blanket until it was just a piece of shredded cloth! They took a square of it and he actually put it in his pocket when he first went to kindergarten.

As far as the pacifier goes ... my friend snipped off the end of one thinking that her child would quit. He would just hold it with his teeth so she cut it littler and littler until there was nothing left and her son didn't want it anymore. Just another idea to add to the list.

Robin

[houseelf]

I need help weaning my 2 year old from his "bunny" and "paci" (blanket & pacifier). These items are only allowed to be used in his bed but if I try to hide them from him, he freaks out. How did you all wean your kids from their lovies? What is a mom to do? <sigh>

Kelly

[DCJenn]

Well, the only thing that worked for my brother was getting braces. I'm not kidding.

Jenn

My twins love their pacifiers at night (I insist they go "to bed" in the morning for the day). My one daughter loves one in her mouth and one in each hand too! My other daughter likes hers upside down. She also likes here blue blankie ("boo bankie"), which is a "he" and is around on and off all day, mostly when she is upset (she uses it to dry her tears and hug). I have told them that four year old girls do NOT have pacifiers (they call them "nukies" after the Gerber brand Nuk). So on their fourth bday, it is bye bye to nukies. However, the blankie thing I'll just let ride until whenever. I think it can be traumatic to take away something so loved and cherished, when it's my embarassment that is at stake. I think people will look and think "she still lets them have soothers???" There has been some research that shows taking away security items too soon can be harmful. They are considered "transitional", in that they help sooth fears and new experiences. Anyway, I'm just using that theory to justify my fear of doing something that breaks their little hearts. On discipline, I'm pretty strict, but this is different somehow.

Well, he probably won't take his bunny with him to kindergarten so I wouldn't freak out about it. We ended a pacifier thing with Andrew at age 3? by having the pacifier fairy come to our house. He put his nutti under his pillow and in the morning, low and behold...there was a buzz light year toy that he really wanted and a pacifier with no nutti left to suck on! I also gathered up every single pacifier in the house and got rid of them.....He was a bit shocked, but he got over it pretty quickly..

I wouldn't worry about too much. My 7 year old had a big bird doll attached to him until he was 4 ...he loved his BB. Of course, I saved BB and he uncovered it this summer and slept with it for several weeks...now BB sits on his dresser and I'm not alowed to put it back in the box...and it's ok with me..It's a comfort thing....


Of course....I am the one who nursed my youngest well into toddlerhood...so..I might not be the best person to chime in on this topic...

Kris

Kris, I love the fairy trick. I think I will do that! I've told my girls that four year olds don't use Nukies, so they are getting that message as we lead into their fourth bday (December).

Or maybe I should just wait until they quit them. I still feel sorry for them for not getting breastfed. (I'm still greiving that one... it was not a choice for me). I'm usually pretty firm on most things that I decide are important, but I'm a pushover on this one...

OK, Kris, I've started the ball rolling with the fairy tactic. I told my girls that the Nukie Fairy comes to children before they are four years old and takes their Nukies to give them to babies that need them. As a trade, the fairy leaves a special snuggle toy. I asked what they would like if the Nukie Fairy came for their Nukies. They have been fascinated with their stuffed plush horsies lately, so Natalie said she wanted a "corn horse". I had no idea what she meant, so I asked her what it looked like. She said it had a horn coming out of its forehead. A unicorn! So, I'm now trying to track down two plush unicorns. They have to be nice ones to replace the Nukies.

What I like about this scheme is it take the burden of removing pacifiers from me. They won't see it as something that mommy took away just because she said so. They'll have a story to think about with it, and they won't ask me for them because they'll think that the Nukie Fairy has them. I also like the idea of them thinking they've given up something they love so another baby can have them. They'll feel a transition into an older phase (big kid who doesn't need a Nukie). I'll see if this whole thing works.

Comments, anyone?

Janet

My twin daughters have Pooh bears that they take everywhere. I'm not going to do anything about it I think. We have made a rule that Pooh has to stay in the house (can't go anywhere else) because he might get lost (which is true and there'd be hell to pay if either of them lost their Poohbear). If they sleep with and carry around Pooh until their 10 I don't care! (Heck, I slept with my beloved Teddy until I was about 10). My five year old son has a blanket I made him as a baby. He still occasionally asks me for it (it's kept in the linen closet for safe keeping) and I readily let him sleep/cuddle with it whenever he feels he needs it. Like the Poohs, blanket must stay in the house.

Jennifer

I think that blankies and stuffed toys are wonderful and harmless. I'm sure you could find research that says they are healthy. I'm just wanting mine to give up pacifiers. I just don't know. Tonight Grace was crying saying she didn't want the Nukie Fairy to come and take away her nukies and leave a unicorn. I told her I wouldn't call the nukie fairy until she was ready. Oh boy...

Janet,
I want to meet your girls. They sound positively adorable. If we lived near each other, I would probably babysit them at your mercy!

I would LOVE to have you over for a visit.... too bad you are so far away, Claudi. Oh well... They are very, very active. And very, very curious. We have talked about renaming them Roto and Tiller. But I think they'd have issue with that later...

Oh, and as an added note, Natalie was having nightmares about the Nukie Fairy last night. WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!??? I've given them irrational fears for life. I've ruined them.... But seriously, maybe it's too scary. Maybe I should just forget the pacifier thing. I've read that any pallette issues from sucking on a soother disappear and correct themselves by age 12. The only trouble with thumb sucking, Jennifer, is that it's much harder to wean a child or for them to self wean from a thumb. It's a tough one for you. Have you thought of trying that horrible tasting stuff you paint on fingernails to deter fingernail biting?

[houseelf]

Janet,

I had to giggle at your Natalie's imagination! Speaking of ensuring future therapy for our kids, my hubby threatened to put a feeding tube in our son if he didn't start eating

I guess what they say about it taking an entire lifetime to get over our childhood is not entirely incorrect. Don't worry, Natalie and Grace should get over the nukie fairie by the time they reach 35!

I'm kidding! Kids do present some serious challenges, don't they?

Kelly
Edited by: kmbsjbcgb at: 8/23/02 2:20:20 pm