Cliques

[Sheherezade]

Do any of the parents of school aged kids out there have any experience with cliques? We have a big group of football playing 4th graders here. They eat lunch together, play football at recess and play football for the rec league representing out town. Obviously, my son is not one of them or I wouldn't be posting this. As far as I can tell, they are all nice kids. Still, they have formed this "gang" of 15 or so. Although I noticed that they seem to have closed ranks to other kids, it didn't bother me because I've seen know out right bullying. I'm beginning to think they are intimidating anyway.

My son plays soccer. He's pretty good and is on our travel team. Spring season has commenced. Yesterday, he started complaining that he didn't want to play. He claims it's because he isn't friends with any of "those kids". Many of the travel soccer team kids are part of this football group. I had a discussion with him about not giving things up that he enjoys because of the other people involved. He says that they aren't mean to him, but he says they aren't his friends. He thinks I don't "get it" but I think I do. The soccer team "belongs" to this group. They are the atheletes. He's told me in the past that he's heard some of them brag about getting bad grades. (That confused him.) My son is smart. He wears glasses. But he's a killer goalie. I'm just heart sick thinking that AT FOURTH GRADE we're already dealing with the jocks vs. brains. I wanted him to do a soccer camp this summer (with some of the atheletes on his team and in this group), but he went apocolyptic on me. Apparently, that's his idea of hell. He LOVES soccer, though.

kids are rotten -- and it's clear I'm going to have to mature a lot before my kids are that age, b/c I still harbor grudges about how rotten kids were to me.

i'm sorry you have to deal with this. i think you're doing all the right things - and your hope your guy doesn't let these stinkers get in the way of his fun.

[Sheherezade]

First soccer game was this weekend. May I just say....my kid ROCKS!!! He was probably one of the best players on our team. He was in as a forward instead of goalie (new to him) and he dominated our team's play for much of the game. We lost but the team we faced was good. Also, our new goalie let in 3 goals in the first 5 minutes of play. Anyway - my son came out of the game feeling great. He is excited again about soccer camp in the summer and soccer this season. I know this issue may be revisited, but I just wanted to report that the social dynamics were no match for his passion. Yeah! :ra: Let's hope he keeps at it.