Private vs. Public Education

[Amiens]

The topic of education has me thinking. We are in the process of applying for a gifted and talented private school for Emma, because we are not sure if the public school will be able to meet her needs.

If you had the money would you send your child to a private school?

Crystal

We've been really happy with our neighborhood public school. Next year we will have that option but will keep her where she is. If we didn't feel like her needs were being met and it was financially feasible, I would consider private school. If I felt that strongly about needing it now, I would go back to work.

[Flynn]

Definitely.

From our perspective both choices will be evaluated extensively before any decisions are made however.

It seems that in our area the public schools are very good or above average. It's very nice to know that.

There is one private school however that starts in 5th grade through 12th grade that seems, from limited research so far, EXCEPTIONAL. The kind of school that would cost 20,000 a year in Seattle is right here in our backyard at a fraction of the cost. We'll see what I find out in the next few years. DD has this year AND next of pre-school, then kindergarten so we have plenty of time to figure things out.

I personally see education as an investment in your child. Of course when money an issue the whole family needs to be assessed and I completely get that. From our perspective though, this is a cost we can #1 afford, and #2 are more than willing to pay if the private school is indeed head and shoulders above what the public schools can provide.

Just my two cents. If we were still training I'm sure my answer would be different due to $$$.

[SuzySunshine]

I agree with Flynn - we'll be out of training by the time our kids (when they get here) are school age. I went to public schools, DH went to parochial. We'll do the research, if the public schools are good then they'll go there - if they aren't and there are good private schools we won't hesitate sending them there.

[Malpka]

I have no idea were we will be living when my oldest is ready for kindergarten (DH finishes the summer before, thank god). If we live somehwere with excellent public schools, I could see us going that route. Mostly we are leaning towards Catholic school, and in most of the areas I wouldliek to live in you pretty much have to go the private school route.

[Vanquisher]

Schools here are less than stellar, but I can't afford private school. I have a meeting with his teacher this week to discuss, I kid you not, shaming the children for academic mishaps such as forgetting his homework. Yesterday, Ryan had to have silent lunch because he forgot to have me sign one of his reading logs. He also had a note sent home that said, "Act responsibly." They get no warnings. It's silent lunch first, then sit out recess, and then parent conference. I skipped over the sitting out recess part. This is such bull crap. It isn't any wonder we have the lowest graduation rate in the nation. Shaming the children because they forget a piece of homework at 8 years old is stupefying to me. Plus the "drill and kill" mentality here is just preposterous. If I had the means, I would send Ryan to private school, but I just do not have it.

Homeschooling is a last resort if we do not get anywhere by talking to the teachers, principal, and if I have to, superintendent of schools. They give them hours of meaningless busy work homework, and I have had it. The only reason I am sending him to school at this point is for the "well-rounded" experience and social avenues that I think can only be gained through a school experience.

If there was only an academic consequence to him not doing his homework, I would be less worried about it, but the behavioral consequence is just stupid. I wish I had the extra 10K a year to send him to private school, but I just don't.

AAARGH!

Oh, and if public school is good, I am all for it. As I have said before, both my parents are public school teachers, and I think it can be a very good thing, and in many cases better than private school for its breadth of opportunities.

[migirl]

I agree with Flynn, Cheri, and Annie. DH and I are both products of the Michigan public school system, and we think we turned out just fine. The schools where we currently live are great, and if we end up staying here our kids would probably go to public school. If we end up moving somewhere else where the school system is not as good, then we'll probably look into private school.

[PrincessFiona]

I agree with lily. Here where we live, there are very few private schools and all of them pawn off gifted/talented education and Title I special services to the public schools.

Also, you don't seem to escape the social issues (bullying, etc) in the private schools.

kris

DH is totally opposed to private school: "I came out of public schools - look at me!", but I'm open to it. If we stay where we are I would expect our kids to remain in public schools. They are excellent, and precisely why we chose to live in this area outside of KC. Plus, most of the private schools here are religion-based, and that is NOT what I want.

If we were in an area w/sub-par public schools, or the schools could not meet our kids' needs -- I would find a private school that worked for us. and if the KS school board hasn't gotten their heads out of their backsides by the time my kids are being taught 'creationism' we'll probably be signing up for some REAL science classes.

So - I'm not opposed to either. I'd do whatever is the right fit for my kids.

Heidi - have you looked into scholarships at the private schools around you? Many offer them - either based on $ need, or academics.

[houseelf]

We live in a "good" district and yet my neighbors report that there are 25 kids in half day kindergarten that serves both special needs and ESL integration (multiple languages: Hmong and Spanish).

When I am *honest* about my oldest child's needs, he is just the type of kid whose needs wouldn't be best served by his local public school: a bit above average, relatively well behaved, two involved parents, and tons and tons of boyish energy. Quite frankly, the teachers have their hands full rendering the middle short of their full potential. (I hope that you all don't find this offensive, this is just an honest assessment of OUR situation.)

Actually, at this point, my daughter seems like a better candidate for a traditional public school. She came out being more articulate and more self-assured. This is coupled with the fact that girls tend to be more mature from the get go. I haven't ruled out any options for either child but we'll probably keep her on the same path as her brother because we are very happy with their experience.

I know that I can't shut up about it, but I love our school. The customer service is second to none. I don't know if this stems from the fact that it is private or a small community of around 85 families, but parents can and do effectuate real change at our school on a daily basis. For example, parents demanded that a foreign language be treated as a "core" subject rather than an "Add on". This conflicted with montessori accreditation because the Chinese teacher wasn't licensed. Parents brainstormed and came up with the idea of having Chinese before the school day a couple of days a week. I could name a million examples of this, but I never cease to be amazed. Also, because this school is NFP, parents sign a contract that they will volunteer 40 hours a year per child. This gets everyone invested in the school. It makes a huge difference.

Still, our school is absolutely honest about special needs. If a kid needs speech therapy or counseling, they don't have the resources to provide it and a parent will have to seek these sources from elsewhere. Currently there is a child who needs counseling and has to seek it outside of the school. Mom and Dad are divorcing and Dad is moving home to Australia while the nine year old son remains behind. After seven years of being in this school, he is now exhibiting outburst behavior for the first time. In addition to this child's own well-being, his behavior presents a discipline problem at school. His mom had to verify to the school that they are working with this child by getting him the professional help he needs.

Anyway, I digress. Private school is NOT the panacea. There are issues just like I described above. However, for now, it sure beats the alternative for us. I will continue to work in order to be able to have a choice about my kids' education if I have to.

Kelly

Both SO and I have experienced both public and private education and we are neither for nor against either, both have advantages and disadvantages. If there is a good public school near to where we live then we're all for it, if not then we will send ds to private school. Being in a catholic school would be quite important to us but not essential, we'd just like ds to have some of the religious experiences we grew up with, like makeing your first holy communion with your 30 friends in your class, probably sounds silly but I remember looking forward to that day from before I even went to school!

The disadvantage of private school forus wouldn't be the initial expenses like fees, its everything else. Most of the other kids going will come from wealthy backgrounds that comes with expensive extra curricular activites, that would be our biggest worry.

[Sheherezade]

Still, our school is absolutely honest about special needs. If a kid needs speech therapy or counseling, they don't have the resources to provide it and a parent will have to seek these sources from elsewhere. Currently there is a child who needs counseling and has to seek it outside of the school. Mom and Dad are divorcing and Dad is moving home to Australia while the nine year old son remains behind. After seven years of being in this school, he is now exhibiting outburst behavior for the first time. In addition to this child's own well-being, his behavior presents a discipline problem at school. His mom had to verify to the school that they are working with this child by getting him the professional help he needs.

Here's a real politically unpopular opinion. I think that mainstreaming -in many cases - sucks. Go ahead....throw tomatoes.

Kelly's post reminded me that this has been a major sticking point for me in this district. We have great schools, great gifted, great special ed - but the kids that need extra help because of behavior or disability really take up the bulk of the teacher's time. I can no think of a classroom setting YET that either of my children have encountered that did not include a few difficult kids. These kids have changed the whole nature of the class on every occassion. My son had 3 ADHD behavioral issue kids in his class last year and the teacher frequently said it was exhausting. My daughter has only one problem child....but she's shared a class with him every year and the whole class has suffered the public shaming exercise (thanks Heidi) many times to atone for his behavior. (That's what they do here to make one child behave....they make his class hate him. ) How do you speak up about this? It's just not acceptable to say that "problem" kids shouldn't be in the same room....but they sure make teaching more difficult.


As for private/public - we are public now, but I'd consider private if I thought the educational experience in the district was always going to be awful. It would be a bigger issue for me to uproot my kids from the good friends that they have made that the financial decision at this point. We are, after all, wealthy. :>

If agree with everyone that if I had a child that I felt like was floundering I would put them in private school, move public districts, whatever it took. For me, education is an absolute top priority.

However, I would like to point out an issue with *some* private schools. I went to public school my entire life and then to a very elite private college. The college took over 50% of its student body from private school - - and not any private school, exeter/andover, phillips, etc. I am not talking about MD "well off," I am talking about upper level business wealthy and even lifestyles of the rich and famous. Literally. Interestingly, most of these students did not excel academically in my opinion. They were from schools where competition was limited (how many Cs are doled out at 35k per year) and they had never experienced a moment's financial discomfort so as to be particularly motivated about their futures. This caused some major problems upon graduation when a subset of the parents did not want to support their adult children for life and the children came to an awful, shocking realization that they could not, and likely would not ever be able to, afford the lifestyle they had led thus far.

For this reason, my first choice would be public school or a more middle class private school. For me, this part of a general notion I have - - which may change when we actually have kids - - that you should severely downplay any affluence you may possess to avoid your children developing a sense of entitlement or feeling disapointed when their own adult lives are more middle class.

[houseelf]

For this reason, my first choice would be public school or a more middle class private school. For me, this part of a general notion I have - - which may change when we actually have kids - - that you should severely downplay any affluence you may possess to avoid your children developing a sense of entitlement or feeling disapointed when their own adult lives are more middle class.

This is *the* issue for me with private schools. Tuition-wise, ours is middle of the road. It's not an elite academy, but it's not the $330 month parachoia...parochial...parachio...religious based school either. Even though most of the students are from upper middle class families (sprinkled in with a minority of very wealthy), there is palpable affluence in the school. In a way, I'm almost relieved that my kids spend their afternoons with a sitter who can be considered "working class poor". They need to see that not everyone has a playstation, a $300 ride on jeep, and activities galore.

I think that that this expectation of affluence and entitlement absolutely does need tempered with some good old fashioned parenting. It is ironic that you brought this up because tonight I'm taking my 6 year old son tonight to "Feed My Children", a Christian based organization that prepares meals for the starving individuals in Africa. I realize that a normal childhood case of "the gimmes" is being ascerbated by the affluence which he sees as a norm because of his peer group.

Still, I'd rather have this issue than any of the others listed here.

Kelly

[Amiens]

I appreciate everyone's comments. I don't find it necessary to publically divulge where Emma is at, but if you are interested then PM me.

Our elementary school we are districted for is ok. Our school district is supposed to be really good. However, from what I hear about the 2 kindergarten teachers, I wonder if Emma would get bored, or her needs not met. In addition, I have talked to parents about the GATE program, and it sounds a little intense for kids so young; ie- doing homework until 10 pm.

The school we are looking at only accepts gifted and talented students, and so the students aren't bussed to another school to have their needs met. Dh has a co-worker, who's daughter attends the private school. From what we are hearing it sounds nice- diversity, low student teacher ratios, Kindergarteners don't have homework as to allow them to be children when they are at home; foreign language is core, amongst other things. The parents are also expected to volunteer a certain number of hours per quarter.

I would like to look at the public school system as we are paying hard earned dollars toward property taxes to fund the schools. What I need to do is arrange a meeting with someone from the elementary school, and see what they can offer. The other option we are looking at is our district has charter schools that are supposed to be phenomenal.

Crystal