Are kids growing up faster these days?

I was reading an article tonight on yahoo that talked about how tweens today are exhibiting teenager behavior. Do you think kids are growing up faster today that we did in our generation? The article was talking about how 8-12 year olds are dating, dressing sexy and want cell phones. When I was 11 I was still playing with dolls and doll houses, and wanted nothing to do with the opposite sex. The article also mentioned how kids are reaching puberty faster--with menstruation starting in elementary school sometimes. That seems really early. I cannot imagine starting my period in elementary school!

What do you think?

[alison]

YES! There were a pack of small kids at James Bond today. With cell phones and Uggs and makeup and these pre-pubescent boys! They're growing up fast these days!

Yes, but I am going to do my damned-est to keep my kids from growing up like that.

[Stella]

Well as someone in her mid-twenties, I'd like to separate my childhood from that of the young tweens. They are very, VERY different. I played with Barbies until I was probably 12. I didn't kiss a boy until the summer before high school. I got a cell phone (the first Nokia with 30 minutes a month, only for emergencies) when I was 16 and driving. My first car was a BEATER. I moved away from home at 17 (and didn't go back.)

Now, my little sister who is 9 years old told me she wants Uggs and an iPod for Christmas.

What had I bought her???
Candy Land, Chutes and ladders, and a set of pj's.

Guess who's making a return trip to Target this week....

[alison]

What exactly is a tween?

[Stella]

What exactly is a tween?

8-12

[alison]

Thanks! I thought it had something to do with TWEN-ty.

Now, my little sister who is 9 years old told me she wants Uggs and an iPod for Christmas.

What had I bought her???
Candy Land, Chutes and ladders, and a set of pj's.

Wow. Aren't you glad you had that conversation? I'd say Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders are a little young for her. My boys play them.

If someone else is getting her the iPod, you can just get her and iTunes card.

YES. Oh, yes! This seems incredibly silly but clothing has a lot to do with it (I think). I see girls that aren't that much older than my oldest daughter (3.5) and they are wearing TIGHT LOW RISE jeans and all sorts of tops that are so inappropriate. I want my girls to wear bows and Little House on the Prairie dresses until they are 16!



What I really want to know is how do you STOP this from happening in your family? Seriously. What do you think are things that we can do as parents to prevent this from happening?

YES. Oh, yes! This seems incredibly silly but clothing has a lot to do with it (I think). I see girls that aren't that much older than my oldest daughter (3.5) and they are wearing TIGHT LOW RISE jeans and all sorts of tops that are so inappropriate. I want my girls to wear bows and Little House on the Prairie dresses until they are 16!

My friend and I were at a county fair kind of thing and marveling (in disgust) at what the girls were wearing. The friend (who has 2 daughters) said "By the time my girls are that age, the "in" thing will be to wear 2 pasties and a g-string!"

I agree - the clothing is scary. I think the only thing you CAN do is refuse to let your kids wear it. I agree it's fun to see them look like little adults sometimes - but they don't need to look like little slutty adults.

I would have to agree that it seems like a ton of them are growing up faster, but I also think that a huge part of their behavior/appearance is directly related to the parents. I might be speaking out of my butt here as we only have boys, I agree that the dressing thing is much harder for girls. Neither one of our 9.5 or 10.5 year olds have cell phones (they would just lose it) there are no pants with crotches hanging past their knees and also no "hanging" out at the theaters....we haven't had any rebellions yet, but I fully expect one at some point. They both want Ipod's for Christmas which is Ok with us but we will seriously be monitoring the content out in....we try really hard to find a happy medium.

[Stella]

I think a lot of it is related to supplied imagination, if you will. When I was a kid, I was playing in a bare fort in the backyard, hiking through the woods, and building tents out of bedsheets in the living room. Kids don't do that stuff anymore. It's all about video games, the computer, iPods, and TV. It's just depressing. Kids don't just "play" anymore.

I am cautiously optimistic and agree with Tara. My kids are too young to say for sure.

I agree that kids clothing styles tend to follow adults. I don't buy low-rise jeans for my daughter and have still managed to find cute clothing for her as she is now in the 6 and up size range. I know her preference will play into it more as she gets older. The biggest hurdle is finding things that *fit*. Target stuff can be a little short or skimpy but not all of it.

My girls like to do girly things. They like to tromp around in my high heels and get dressed up and do their hair and paint their nails. They like doing it for themselves and to have fun. The same painted fingernails often come home with mud and dirt or clay caked underneath. I think that oftentimes adults are putting their perceptions of these things on kids and not realizing what the play means to the kids.

There is a difference, though, in wearing heels and make-up for "fun" and for "real." My daughter just went to the library in her little heels and Sleeping Beauty dress this morning and it was obviously (!!) in cute fun. I see "tweens" that look like they are little Paris Hiltons and that is not so cute. It is scary. Little girls are just NOT supposed to wear midriff baring shirts.

I have to respectfully disagree with Tara. Girls were much more "innocent" back in the day. I do agree that parents play a big role in (not) allowing it to happen. They have so many things at their convenience now which encourage growing up too soon: CELEBRITY CULTURE, the internet, tv, movies, blah blah blah. Sure, we had the same thing when we were growing up but not to the extreme extent as now. I can't even believe that 7th grade girls are thinking about dating. My husband has already decided that our girls will only be allowed to date at 16 and this is if the guy comes over to our house first for dinner (yes, our girls are going to love us in high school! )

Am I the only person who knew of other kids who dated when we were in Jr. High?

You aren't alone. There are at least two of us.

I don't think children are over sexualized I think the media creates that perception and then parents allow their children to watch completely inappropriate programs.

Mostly, I agree. I think it seems to start a little earlier than when I was a kid. I think the media tends to stir up all sorts of false worries or at least exaggerate the things I "should" worry about. If I believed all that crap, I would never leave the house or let my kids out the front door. Oh, wait. I'm sure there is some silent deadly killer in my house that I should get away from.