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Bedtime Help

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  • Bedtime Help

    Aidan is 3. My mil describes him as having "two lives in him" because he literally just goes and goes and goes. He is absolutely exhausting to deal with because he is so active. Literally, my adorable little boy spends his day building houses with sofa cushions, climbing on tables and yelling "look how far I can jump mommy" while I run to catch him.

    His idea of a nap is laying down to watch Dora the Explorer instead of watching while coloring and dancing at the same time. (I know you think I'm kidding...I'm not).

    Bedtime is an absolute nightmare for us...nightmare. We start our routine at 7.30pm and this kid is still going sometimes after MIDNIGHT. Thomas and I are both beside ourselves and totally beat. This is not the first toddler we've parented..

    He refuses to sleep in his room...or in the bed with Alex or Andrew. If I lay down with him in his special firetruck bed, he screams and cries hysterically screaming "I can't breathe, I can't breathe, you're breaking my arm, my leg is falling off....help, help, help, help"...and I swear to God I'm not even touching him...nothing. He is terrified to be in his room even if Zoe is in there. He won't sleep with the boys.

    He won't go to BED!

    We let him sleep in our bed last year because of all of my health drama etc....but even still...our older children shared our family bed until much older and they all go to their rooms and their beds at 8 pm. They don't necessarily sleep (Amanda and Andrew read for awhile but Alex is out like a light by 8.30pm) but they all stay put.

    Last night, I fell asleep at about 11.45 with Aidan in our bed. DH and I both laid there pretending to sleep while he jumped about, begged for ice cream, turned the tv on....as if it were afternoon.

    How can he not be exhausted?

    I finally dozed off and dh was up with him for another 1/2 an hour in the dark in our room while he jumped about and refused to sleep. Even when he was laying under the cover he just chattered away.

    Someone...Help us....aaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

    kris
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

  • #2
    Duct Tape? Benedryl? Scotch and soda?

    I have no other suggestions. Do you have a standard bedtime routine?

    Jenn

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    • #3
      I have a friend with a child similar to that, the little girl was surviving on 4-5 hours of sleep a night, and no naps during the day. This went on for 6 months. My friend started giving her natural sleeping pills for children. 2 pills before bedtime and her daughter now sleeps through the night. I can get more info if you'd like.

      Oof, your situation sounds painful.

      Jodi

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      • #4
        Kris,
        Don't really have any helpful advice but a hug! Our 3.5DD is like that (although since she is a girl, she is content to color and read books until the wee hours! I hate to stereotype girls and boys like that but it's simply true). She doesn't fall asleep until 10pm at the earliest. We have tried everything. . .we have a bedtime routine. . .blah blah blah.

        I think it fits with their personality and as annoying as it is, I don't think there is really anything that you can do (short of giving them sleeping pills) While my daughter doesn't physically move constantly, her brain is going ALL.DAY.LONG. She is completely unable to just sit and rest. I would just figure out whatever is the least painful routine for all of you and do that until he starts to go to sleep with less pain.

        HUGE HUGS. I know how physically and mentally exhausting it is to do that night after night.

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        • #5
          A few more things, Kris -

          He doesn't actually sleep for his nap at all during the day? If so, definitely drop that nap. My DD is taking a nap this afternoon which means she probably won't sleep until midnight tonight!

          Could you talk to him and find some place in the house where he is comfortable to play quietly at night until he is truly tired? Even if it is in some sort of play tent in the kitchen! And perhaps get some "quiet" toy that only comes out at night? You probably do all of this already!

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          • #6
            The ONLY thing that keeps him laying down is.....*gulp*....to put him in our bed with Monster's Inc. on or something. We've been putting it on in german to fool ourselves into thinking that *at least* it's educational.

            We can't move him to his bed later because he wakes up....and...I hate the idea of my child falling asleep watching the boob tube.

            What...oh What...would the super nanny say.

            kris
            ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
            ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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            • #7
              Although I don't seem to have it quite as bad yet, please pass on what you learn...mine is a 7-8 hours a night and 45 minute nap at best...makes me cry with frustration so I am there with you.

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              • #8
                A hot bath! My parents used to give us baths and we'd be out instantly!
                married to an anesthesia attending

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                • #9
                  I'm with the new posting trend. I think he's totally wound up --like wound up for weeks now. I know it must be impossible in a house with 5 kids, but is there any way to just quiet things down as early as possible? I agree with no TV, no stimulation, etc. Just spa-like peace. (I hear you laughing. )

                  My guru - Penelope Leach - always said that the best bedtime strategy was to be as boring as possible. Just tell them the day is over. Nothing to see here. Nothing to miss. Just be dull. (And of course, put away all toys, art supplies and trampolines!) Eventually, they get tired of trying to get things going again. I know it's a long hard road. With a three year old. My sympathies. I hope something works for you.
                  Angie
                  Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
                  Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

                  "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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                  • #10
                    I agree w/ Angie, Annie & Tara...they seem to have the type of advice our pediatrician gave us when we were going through something similar. I have to say Jenn H wins the award for the easiest answer

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                    • #11
                      I've just read your post and haven't read through the others so sorry if i'm contradicting or repeating what others have said.

                      I did have a simular problem with matthew, I cut out nap time in the afternoon but he still seemed to go and go and go, i don't kow where he got the eenergy. Anyway I cut out sugar stuff in his diet, not that he has much, but particularly after 4 pm including natural stuff like apple juice, it seems to make him high, and an hour before bedtime I introduced a 'wind down time' he was way too over stimulated, he would have a bath, read his book in his bedroom in a soft tone and low lighting, I use a night light, not good for eyesight but i need sleep more than my eyesight right now!! and I have a childrens lullaby tape with no words to the music thats ultra relaxing that i play when he gets into bed and he's out like a light at 8 pm.

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                      • #12
                        Right there with you babe! Our kids bedtime is a nightmare, despite efforts of continuous routine of bath, brush teeth, books and bed. Things have become hectic since baby Tyler arrived. I agree with the other posts. I am going to be even more boring and tell DH he has to be on the bandwagon. I am in desperate need of downtime in the evening! Sorry to hijack!

                        I hope things calm down for you!
                        Needs

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                        • #13
                          Have you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child?

                          It almost sounds like he is overtired and getting the compensatory adrenaline rush.

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                          • #14
                            Thanks for all of the advice/thoughts. We've literally tried everything...so...last night at 8pm everyone went to bed, us included. We got the biggert kids tucked in and made sure all of the lights were off downstairs. He was really bummed...he jumped around in our room, cried and carried on...and then was actually asleep within 25 minutes. Then dh and I got up and actually spent an evening...together....

                            We're doing the same thing tonight.

                            He was so much less grumpy today. He's definitely overtired.

                            Kris
                            ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                            ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                            • #15
                              That's progress!

                              What time does he wake up in the morning?

                              I haven't read the Healthy Sleep Habits book (just skimmed it) but a friend of mine found it really helpful.

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