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Holy Moly. I haven't even really begun to process this experience but it was amazing.
To put it in to perspective, I started a journal when we embarked on Trip One to Russia and I continued it until the day before we landed at Dulles. I have NEVER even looked at it. I promised everyone here I'd write an article about our experiences and I even five years later, can't even fathom reliving it. Not that it was a terrible, horrible experience. It was so life-changing that there is no possible way that I can articulate it.
I just spent three days with 50 or more people who exactly understood what my experience was like. Not that they'd had the same experience but we'd all had crazy/horrible/wonderful journeys to get our kids. One family had 14 hour train rides. One family flew to Moldova on "Moldova Airlines." We had people who adopted 20 years ago and people who got back from Russia last year. People who adopted 8 and 10 year olds and one woman who through a very small crack in the system actually adopted her daughter at 4.5 months. Uzbekistan, Moldova, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Russia, Belarus, it was AWESOME.
They had a map of Russia and Eastern Europe and everyone was to put a thumbtack on where the kids came from. I took a picture but it won't be nearly as impressive as it was in person.
and the kids? The older kids were better able to articulate how they were feeling but so many in writing about what it's meant to them said that they love being with people who look like them (there is a very Russian look whether they're from the European side or the Asian side) and with people who have the same story that they do.
They did crafts, music, dance, cooking (dude made blini and was soooo excited) and there's a Russian Circus in Salida Colorado that came in and taught the kids tumbling and acrobatics. His two counselors were both American born siblings of Russian kids- and they were fabulous. The one guy got Nikolai to do things that I (or his father) would never have been able to - to dance Russian music, to learn to roller-skate (the Friday night activity) and go off and wander the wilderness of Colorado in a scavenger hunt.
The parent groups talked about how they straddle two cultures and two identities and this is the one place they don't have to feel guilty about 'being picked' or resentment for being adopted or confusion (especially for the littler kids) about why "my mommy" couldn't take care of me and gave me away. There were groups geared to taking your child back to see their homeland and groups about parenting your tween adopted child (some one shoot me then). One women that I became pretty friendly with said that she was so relieved to discover that her tween's issues were exactly what she thought they were- that there were resources, etc.
We also learned more about the culture and background. Apparently my son's insistence at always toasting is cultural. And if someone insincerely compliments your child you are to sprinkle salt over your child's head to wash away the sweet insincerity and you always leave an offering to your benevolent house spirit.
I'm going to be percolating on this for a while. But much like iMSN is such a relief to find because we all 'get it'- this group of people all 'gets it' for the Russian adoptive family. We're going back next year, that's for sure.
Jenn
To put it in to perspective, I started a journal when we embarked on Trip One to Russia and I continued it until the day before we landed at Dulles. I have NEVER even looked at it. I promised everyone here I'd write an article about our experiences and I even five years later, can't even fathom reliving it. Not that it was a terrible, horrible experience. It was so life-changing that there is no possible way that I can articulate it.
I just spent three days with 50 or more people who exactly understood what my experience was like. Not that they'd had the same experience but we'd all had crazy/horrible/wonderful journeys to get our kids. One family had 14 hour train rides. One family flew to Moldova on "Moldova Airlines." We had people who adopted 20 years ago and people who got back from Russia last year. People who adopted 8 and 10 year olds and one woman who through a very small crack in the system actually adopted her daughter at 4.5 months. Uzbekistan, Moldova, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Russia, Belarus, it was AWESOME.
They had a map of Russia and Eastern Europe and everyone was to put a thumbtack on where the kids came from. I took a picture but it won't be nearly as impressive as it was in person.
and the kids? The older kids were better able to articulate how they were feeling but so many in writing about what it's meant to them said that they love being with people who look like them (there is a very Russian look whether they're from the European side or the Asian side) and with people who have the same story that they do.
They did crafts, music, dance, cooking (dude made blini and was soooo excited) and there's a Russian Circus in Salida Colorado that came in and taught the kids tumbling and acrobatics. His two counselors were both American born siblings of Russian kids- and they were fabulous. The one guy got Nikolai to do things that I (or his father) would never have been able to - to dance Russian music, to learn to roller-skate (the Friday night activity) and go off and wander the wilderness of Colorado in a scavenger hunt.
The parent groups talked about how they straddle two cultures and two identities and this is the one place they don't have to feel guilty about 'being picked' or resentment for being adopted or confusion (especially for the littler kids) about why "my mommy" couldn't take care of me and gave me away. There were groups geared to taking your child back to see their homeland and groups about parenting your tween adopted child (some one shoot me then). One women that I became pretty friendly with said that she was so relieved to discover that her tween's issues were exactly what she thought they were- that there were resources, etc.
We also learned more about the culture and background. Apparently my son's insistence at always toasting is cultural. And if someone insincerely compliments your child you are to sprinkle salt over your child's head to wash away the sweet insincerity and you always leave an offering to your benevolent house spirit.
I'm going to be percolating on this for a while. But much like iMSN is such a relief to find because we all 'get it'- this group of people all 'gets it' for the Russian adoptive family. We're going back next year, that's for sure.
Jenn
Cat mommy since 2002 
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