Daycare gripe/vent!

[Michele]

Post your gripes too so I don't feel so alone!


Every other day, it seems, they have something different to say about his 'day.' Some days, I get he report that "he did great, played well, didn't cry"...and then other days I get the "he's so needy, he cried all day, we can't meet his need for individual attention." They sound so surprised on his good days and so exasperated on his bad days. He's only 1 freaking year old. He isn't going to be the same kid everyday...and he's going to have bad days! The worst part is then they challenge my parenting style as the reason for his bad days....the fact that I babywear, we cosleep and he nurses on demand....also the fact that I *gasp* attend to his needs when we are together. Goodness, he's only there 5 hours!! I want to have some ME time, but I don't want to leave him there because I feel like they don't really 'like' working with him. It's soo hard to find a good daycare...and this one is supposed to be good....but it's hard when I feel like they don't want him there. And it's also hard hearing how annoying your child is or how needy he is with the implication that I created/feed it.

Ugh! I *think* Daegan's totally normal in his good/bad days. I'm starting to think the teacher this year is a drama queen!! Of course the fact that I'm less than thrilled with work adds to the situation.

Thanks for letting me vent!

[DCJenn]

Re: Daycare gripe/vent!

It IS hard. I was "OK" w/ the daycare we used but they did some things that I really had to grit my teeth through- like allowed them to watch TV before and after program hours. I kind of thought that I could dump him in front of the TV for free if that's what I wanted for him.

and I also got the "he's VERY active..." (implied 'hyper') and my response (in my head of course) was - people, take your lazy asses outside and let them run around and you wouldn't have a classroom of 10 2yos jumping out of their skin.

I'm sooooo much happier w/ his new preschool. I wish they took them younger than 3. Waiting to get him in was HARD.

Jenn

[houseelf]

Re: Daycare gripe/vent!

Post your gripes too so I don't feel so alone!

No really, you don't want to open this can of worms with me. Seriously, run now while you can.


One of the biggest motivators for staying home now is that I don't want to be beholden to "absolutely having to have daycare". For the record, I do have my daughter in preschool 3 mornings a week, more for my benefit than hers, but I don't "have" to have it.

Where were we? Ah yes, the "o.k." daycare. My kids were in an "alright" daycare for SEVEN years (having to extend the tenure of DS's daycare into hiss school years due to days off and aftercare). I researched, and researched, AND RESEARCHED my options throughout the years. I found one lady who came highly recommended, but she took 45 paid days off a year and we had no local family to help us cover these days. For me, I just couldn't do the big centers, even the chic-chic/frou-frou ones, when the kids were really little (younger than three). We had employee privileges at two separate daycares which were presented quite the commute. In the end, I kept my kids with a woman with whom they were both deeply attached (and still talk about to this day). I know that they ate more junk and watched more tv than I would have liked. But they absolutely adored her and her well-behaved, kind children. I stayed with my sitter through her divorce, her chiropracter appointments for which I'd have to pick the kids up early, and turning off of utilities at her home for failing to pay her bills.

A lot of people would have left this daycare if they were in my shoes. I agonized. But I know that this woman held my kids and loved them. I saw evidence of it all the time. My kids were deeply attached. I knew that the change would be difficult and that there would always be something I didn't like whereever they went. I loved when both of my kids were at the montessori, but we still had to use this sitter because of the nonschool days. My sitter and I developed this crazy codependent relationship.

I'm just not ready to get into all of this again.

Aren't you glad that you asked?
Kelly

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Daycare gripe/vent!

The only daycare I used was an in home one. She was great, and really loved Kate a lot. But, it is hard. So much time away under another person's system. Luckily for me, we had a similar parenting style, so that lessened the conflicts. She also was definitely NOT lazy.

Michele- you have a lot on your plate now. It is too bad that the daycare isn't a bit more understanding.

[Michele]

Re: Daycare gripe/vent!

Thanks guys for not making me feel alone!

I'm going to keep my ears out for another option.

Basically when he gets there ~7:30am I put him in a high chair for breakfast...he eats then they stick him on the floor to play with the other kids (7 total), then at ~10am they start going down for naps and sleep until ~11:30am, I watched yesterday and he stayed in his crib for about 15 min after he woke up and then he was on the floor by himself for ~15 min before I left to go get him....the other kids were all in highchairs eating. I pick him up ~12:30pm...yesterday he was in a highchair while the other kids were playing on the floor. He doesn't eat lunch well there and I think it's because he's left for last. And there is always a video on...and she says he often just sits and stares at the screen. I wish they would start trying to do group activities like story time or something...but maybe they are just too young?

We'll see what happens today. I don't like him being left for last all the time...but maybe it's not happening every day.

[samssugarmomma]

Re: Daycare gripe/vent!

Oh Michele, I used to feel the same way after I left Natalie's daycare in TX. I didn't babywear, but I did nurse on demand and cosleep and attend to her needs right away. Lucky for us they absolutely loved her but I'd still get the comments about her and her "high needs".

Now, I'd kill to find a daycare like the one we had in TX. We keep saying "If only we could find a place like PLA....."