Naps

[SuzySunshine]

Should Adele be napping well at 8 weeks? :huh:

We are using the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" as our guide and it recommends soothing them and putting them down after two hours of wakefulness. Adele will fall asleep eating or just after popping off but when I get up to put her in her crib she wakes up and then won't nap. A few times I've let her nap on my chest or in my lap propped on the boppy but I'd really like her to nap in her crib so that I can nap or get some things done. I've used the bouncer or swing a few times but the book doesn't recommend getting them used to that.

We're also having issues getting her to go down at night and have had to resort to letting her cry a little bit. Last night she only cried for about 5 minutes once we got her soothed but that alone took 30-45 minutes. I think we're not reading her right and we're overtiring her both during the day and at night.

Any ideas, suggestions, BTDT stories?

TIA!

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Naps

I used that book (pretty much religiously- love it) and doesn't he say that they really aren't ready for a stricter scheduling until about 4 months or so? Usually I didn't have much luck with good, regular naps until about 12 weeks... And then they had 2 naps until about 9 months, and 1 nap until as long as I could possibly drag it out...

:huh:

[Auspicious]

Re: Naps

"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"

Actually it was at 8 weeks that I considered setting this book on fire in my back yard. A lot of people LOVE this book, and I'm sure there's some useful stuff in there (I didn't actually set it on fire, and plan to go back to it when I need it again), but I have several problems with it. I think the tone is a bit too "this is the one right answer and if your baby isn't doing this you suck", it's terribly organized (should be organized by age!), and then it makes these generalizations about "your baby" without saying what age baby they're talking about.

It has a description of how 8-week-olds sleep, and Cora wasn't doing that at all, and then coincidentally Cora had a couple of terrible all-nighters that week and I started to wonder if I was ruining her. It was a bit stressful.

Luckily that was the week of our 2-month well baby check, and our ped is awesome replacing my worries with hope. She was basically like "We will get her sleeping . . . but not yet. Sleep is the major topic of the four-month appointment if you can survive until then--she's really too little to respond to sleep training yet." Actually I could survive until then--it wasn't that I couldn't handle the amount of work Cora was requiring, it was just that I wasn't sure if I was setting her up with bad habits. The ped said no, everything I was doing was fine for her age.

Honestly the major change to come out of that appointment was for me to accept that little babies sleep like crap, and I've been much happier since then. (And I think that's kind of the opposite of what Weissbluth says--I think it strongly implies that if you were doing things right, your baby would be sleeping well. That's a filthy lie!)

And then, once I accepted the bad sleep, she really did start sleeping better on her own, and currently I can definitely live with her usual sleep habits (though they are kind of whack--eager to see what the ped says about that at the 4-month).

As for specifics,

recommends soothing them and putting them down after two hours of wakefulness.

I do agree with Weissbluth on this and the whole "overtired" concept, and so does my ped (although often it's more like 2-3 hours). My ped specifically said I could try putting her down for that first morning nap and walking away and letting her cry for up to 10 minutes. If she still hadn't gone to sleep, okay, go ahead and pick her back up. She said not to worry about overall sleep training, just work on one nap at a time. :huh: I actually never did that because we haven't had a nap problem, just a nighttime problem, and I wasn't willing to let her cry at night yet.

I've used the bouncer or swing a few times but the book doesn't recommend getting them used to that.

I totally disagree with Weissbluth on this and the whole "junk sleep" concept. Cora naps in her swing and always has. She's been a terrific napper until very recently (I think the era of the swing is drawing to a close). I specifically asked my ped about this, and she said that's fine, lots of people do it for like six months. Stories from the parenting board I lurk on confirm this--people with happy, well-sleeping toddlers had swing, carseat, or bouncy chair nappers in the early months and no regrets.


I don't have a lot (any?) specific advice because I don't know what I'm doing either and we still have the majority of this issue in front of us. And baby sleep is so controversial and you can ask ten people and get ten different strong opinions. But I do think that there are things that definitely have and have not worked for us, and that a good measure of acceptance was the key to happiness for this early stage.

I'll also say that a resource I enjoy is Ask Moxie. It's unfortunately not entirely organized (but I'd expect that out of a blog), but I like both her attitude and her advice on this issue (and other issues).

http://www.askmoxie.org/sleep/index.html

Good luck!

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Naps

I'm going to have to reread the book, clearly, but I thought he even talked about letting his newborn - 4 month sleep whenever wherever. (Like in his car seat while he and his wife played tennis.) Maybe the newer versions have been "updated"? I actually prefer the first version I read to the "new and expanded" (the first one was from 12 years ago... the "new and expanded" from I think 4 years ago...)

Anyway, the sleep programming in Babywise guide compared to Healthy Sleep Habits were huge. Babywise really tries to get them programmed at day 1... I don't think babies are ready for CIO or any other "training" methods until a little farther along- all babies are different (my twins sure were- that was a pain to navigate) and some are ready for good naps earlier than others. Some, like my Luke, never really nap all that well. :huh:

I did read in some books that before 3 months of age even a 20 minute period of quiet, alone in a bassinet or whatever "counted" as a nap.

[JaneDoe]

Re: Naps

I think 8 weeks is still pretty young to expect regular naps and going to bed easily. FYI, I didn't use any books as guides to sleeping , so take what I have to say with a grain of salt, but I found that my kids fell into regular nap habits in their cribs on their own schedule.

I seem to remember that boths kids were napping on a schedule around 4 months. I also seem to recall that they began to go to sleep more easily at night around then too; i.e., I didn't have to nurse, put in crib, cry, nurse again, put in crb, cry, etc. for about a two hour period at night.. My dd was an excellent sleeper (slept from 9pm to 7 am at two months), but my ds not so good (didn't really sleep through the night until 9 months).

It will happen, but it will probably take a little longer. Sorry. I found the sleeping thing to be, by far, the hardest part about newborns. It will improve, though.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Naps

What a great thread.

I want to echo what Julie said. It's been my experience that 8 weeks is a little early for sleep cycles to get sorted out. Napping became more regular for my children between 4-6 months, but even the regular naps are subject to change as they get older. You're also at a tough time for night sleeping because as she grows and needs more milk, she'll probably be up more at night again in the coming couple of months...

I will say that our swing was a lifesaver when the babies were little. I don't care what anyone says. It didn't affect bedtime, it lulled them into a peaceful sleep and let me get things done and they were safe, happy and content

Kris

[SuzySunshine]

Re: Naps

Thanks guys that helps - her night sleeping is GREAT! She is going to sleep sometime between 9-11 and sleeping for 5-8 hours, waking, eating for an hour or so, and then sleeping for 2-4 more hours.

I think I'll just continue to put her down when she does fall asleep wherever that may be.

[migirl]

Re: Naps

Jack's daytime sleep habits started to get organized right around 4 months also. He just sort of fell into a routine on his own (I had him sleeping in the bouncy seat too, and now he's a champion sleeper ... so I wouldn't about "ruining" their sleep by putting them in a swing or whatever). He did 3 naps a day up until about 9 months (a longish one in the morning, followed by a shorter one in the early afternoon, and finally a very short one in the late afternoon); 2 naps from 9 months to about 14 months; and now still does one nap a day ... which I will never give up.

I should probably add a disclaimer that I also swear by Weissbluth's book, I love it.

[Phoebe]

Re: Naps

I used the Healthy Sleep book at different times. I echo the 4 month thing. We used a swing with Tyler because she wasn't napping at all up until about 5 months and the swing was it. I was desperate for her to sleep. She finally got the sleeping thing down and adjusted fine. My take is whereever they sleep is great albeit the carseat, swing, bouncy seat, etc.

Good luck! Trust your instincts! You know her best!

[HouseofWool]

Re: Naps

Gosh - I must have been a total hard ass with my son. At 6 wks he was not going to sleep until 2 am even though he was exhausted. It was definately a case of over-tired/over-stimulated. We put him to bed at about 7 pm after a warm bath and let him CIO. I'm not sure how long he cried. Probably less than 10-15 minutes, but I sat in the basement (his bedroom was on the 2nd floor) and couldn't hear him crying. (My husband was in the apartment and he could hack the crying better than me. It just made my milk let down )

It only took a couple of nights like that and he would fall asleep without fussing and within a month of that he started sleeping through the night.

I do remember struggling to find the right balance with napping...

Re: Naps

I've used the bouncer or swing a few times but the book doesn't recommend getting them used to that.

I totally disagree with Weissbluth on this and the whole "junk sleep" concept. Cora naps in her swing and always has. She's been a terrific napper until very recently (I think the era of the swing is drawing to a close). I specifically asked my ped about this, and she said that's fine, lots of people do it for like six months. Stories from the parenting board I lurk on confirm this--people with happy, well-sleeping toddlers had swing, carseat, or bouncy chair nappers in the early months and no regrets.

I'm with Julie here. DS spent the first few months napping either on us or in his swing, carrier, stroller or car seat. At the time, I was worried that we were "spoiling" him and that we would eventually have an 18-year-old on our hands who still needed by be rocked to sleep. A lot of the sleep books (and well-meaning friends and family) will try to convince you that unless the baby develops "healthy" sleep habits in the first few weeks of life, he or she will never sleep well. IMO, that's just bunk.....despite my rocking/nursing/singing him to sleep in those early days, DS still turned into a fabulous sleeper.

It wasn't until 4-5 months that DS began taking three regular naps a day in his crib. After a few months he went down to 2 naps a day and then by 13 months he was down to one nap a day. The first year is tough....as soon as you figure out a good sleep schedule, the baby decides to change everything a few months later. And don't be surprised by her sleep habits changing once she hits certain developmental milestones....reaching for things, sitting, standing....

Jane, I'll never give up DS's nap, either. He takes a 3-hr nap every day and I don't know what I'll do when he outgrows it. I'm hoping that he takes after his mom.....I'm 29 and still need a daily nap!

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Naps

A total side note here, and NOT meant necessarily to slam all of the well-intentioned books, but...did anyone notice that they're usually written by the men who are working and aren't the primary caregivers to children? I mean...if a sahd or sahm wrote a book...that would be one thing.....but it's one of my biggest problems with all of the how-to books out there on parenting.

I used to devour them until I realized that the advice offered changed with the parenting Zeitgeist and that many of the suggestions were unrealistic, unattainable or just didn't work. I started to feel like I was being ganged up on by a group of male pediatricians who sat in their office judging moms and trying to tell them how to do a job that they weren't doing themselves. :huh:

Cue: "I fight authority, authority always win..."