omg, omg, OMG!!

[rainbabies]

what is the most dreaded question your child can ask?

ds, freshly 5 y.o...during his bath tonight, asked me, "how do mommy's and daddy's make babies?" serioulsy? where did this come from? isnt 5 too young for that? i think i was at least 8 when i asked.

i told him when mommy's and daddy's love each other, they have babies. he then asked how again, and i repeated myself...and added when you're older you will know how.

ug.

and, dd...freshly 4 y.o. and always full of antics and funny sayings was laying on her back in the tub and told me, as she was touching them....that..."my boobies need to take a rest"

:thud:

[DCJenn]

Re: omg, omg, OMG!!

Oh my.

That's funny (because it's not MY kid asking the question)

I'm so not ready for that.

Jenn

[diggitydot]

Re: omg, omg, OMG!!

We've found that the best ever answer for the "where do babies come from?" hell is a very dry, clinical answer from the physician in the family. Grossed out our kids so much, they haven't asked since.

Yes, I'll be going straight to mom hell.

[Rapunzel]

Re: omg, omg, OMG!!

Yes, I second the dry, clinical answer.

Since I periodically get pregnant ( ) I have all ages of children (my own, that is ) asking me "Where do babies come from?"

Generally I go through the following progression with a child who is under the age of eight:

- Asked the first time I say that they come from mommies and daddies who love each other very much.

- Asked for more detail I say that someday you will find out for yourself! That generally goes into talking about marrying, boys are yucky/cute, and sometimes princesses and unicorns come into the picture. (Remember - I've now got FIVE girls).

- Pressed further I give the labor/delivery rundown: I tell them where the baby grows (in my uterus), where the baby comes out, etc. That usually stops them dead in their tracks because it is such a shocking new concept to them. It usually involves questions about blood, pain, etc.

- At this point we have had exactly ONE child break through that last question wanting to know more. My son was ten when I got pregnant with this last child and he finally decided to go the step further and ask how the baby got in there to begin with. His dad sat him down and showed him one of the driest, most factual, and most detailed films on the subject of conception, pregnancy, and childbirth that he could possibly see. I definitely believe that when you discuss sex you should always include all of the nitty gritty of pregnancy and childbirth. It worked. Alex was more than a little shocked and grossed out. He looked like a deer in headlights when he came out of that room. Poor kid - he looked at me like I was some kind of alien being for a few weeks after that!


Anyway, my strategy has worked thus far and it involves parceling out information according to what I think the child can handle. And, then I keep it very calm, very factual, and very dry. That really helps take any discomfort on my part out of the equation.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: omg, omg, OMG!!



We do the "when mommies and daddies" love each other thing too....and if pressed I resort to a discussion about the development of a baby.

A sperm meets the egg, the egg divides.....I show them pictures from a book that I have that shows the fetus in utero at diff. stages of development....It totally distracts from the "how".

When Andrew was in the 5th grade though he asked me and I started on the sperm and egg, cell dividing, stages of fetal development thing and he pretty much told me to cut the biology lesson and tell him how the sperm..gets to the egg.




Kris

[Rapunzel]

Re: omg, omg, OMG!!

We do the "when mommies and daddies" love each other thing too....and if pressed I resort to a discussion about the development of a baby.

A sperm meets the egg, the egg divides.....I show them pictures from a book that I have that shows the fetus in utero at diff. stages of development....It totally distracts from the "how".

When Andrew was in the 5th grade though he asked me and I started on the sperm and egg, cell dividing, stages of fetal development thing and he pretty much told me to cut the biology lesson and tell him how the sperm..gets to the egg.




Kris

Yeah, it seems to be around 10 yrs old/5th grade that they don't want the run around anymore.

[Sheherezade]

Re: omg, omg, OMG!!

I went with a pretty direct approach once my kids started getting pedophile warnings at school. It seemed weird to me that they were being told that some people have "strange inclinations" towards children when they didn't have the details about the "natural inclinations" between adults. They took it pretty well - although I don't think my oldest believed me *completely* until he had health class last year (5th grade) and they dropped the reproduction lesson on all the kids. I think he felt "in the know" after that class session because he wasn't shocked like all his friends. I've tried to stress that this is ADULT behavior because it has serious emotional and physical consequences. I've also stressed the "consenting" adults angle when we've wandered in to pedophilia again. This comes up surprisingly often in today's culture. My sixth grader brings home "jokes" or comments from friends, youtube, etc that make references that I know the kids don't get. I try to explain because I think a lack of knowledge in this area can be exploited. I don't think the kids are overloaded with info - I do try to make it age appropriate - but I'm sure it will be my kid passing on the dirt to others. I can't wait for those phone calls. :> I'd rather have them know the real deal than hear bizarre stuff from their friends and believe it. After all, DH is a GYN and I was a developmental biology/neuroscientist .....how embarrassing to get this stuff wrong!!!

I've also been open from day one about menstruation, tampons, etc with both kids - so no excuses from either of them about not understanding that. Obviously, that will be more important for my daughter when she gets her period - but I don't think either of them should be clueless.

I've tried to approach these topics with utter frankness and the understanding that they are a natural part of life. We'll see how that works out. If it all goes bad, I'll try to warn you before you screw up your kids, too!!

Re: omg, omg, OMG!!

Angie.

Being pg around a 5/6 year old led to a lot of questions. I tried the "mommy and daddy love each other" tapdance and it didn't work. And I tried again and it still didn't work. So after a :horror: moment, I thanked my lucky stars that she was in the directly behind me in the car (and couldn't see my face) and parsed out information and by the end of her questions, she was a very well-informed 6 year old. But would I rather she hear it from me or someone else? I took the "between adults" approach too and emphasized the appropriate for adults and not appopriate for kids part.

And then I slipped a $20 in the therapy jar. :run: (I don't really have a therapy jar but I probably should!).

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: omg, omg, OMG!!

Kate was really super inquisitive about this. We have all sorts of "Where babies come from" books around... One of them goes from where baby chicks come from, to where baby cats come from, to where baby humans come from. They aren't overly detailed for the actual method of fertilization, but do show the sperm meets egg-- the kids all love the pictures of the sperm and egg. :huh: Anyway, these books get the idea across without grossing anyone out.

Kate also was the child at the "siblings birth class" when I was pg with the twins (she was 5) who looked horrified and shocked when the birth instructor told the kids that the baby sibling was in the mommy's tummy. Kate said-- "NO, the baby can't be in the tummy because the stomach acids would eat the baby up. The baby is in the UTERUS."

She asked a lot of questions...

[v-girl]

Re: omg, omg, OMG!!

Duh. God puts the babies in mommy's tummy. Yeah, I'm screwed.