Breastfeeding at 2?

Okay- I do not have children but I have been around a lot in day care settings, friends kids... blah, blah, blah...

I went to visit my aunt and her little boy who will be 2 in May. And she is STILL breastfeeding, whenever he asks for it. He will say "Nurse? Nurse?" and then she makes him say please, both saying and siging and then she nurses him. Not before bed, not when he's sick just whenever he wants a sip.

They were over a couple weeks ago and he was eating his McDonalds, you know, a burger, fries, and washes it down with some breastmilk.

Okay- when is it weird and when is it okay to say something? I was my aunt's birth coach when he was born so we are really close, I've seen it all with her.

Please, some advice! Am I overreacting?

[MissCrabette]

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

I don't have kids of my own yet, but here's my take on it.

Technically, the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until 2 or beyond. I'm sure they don't put out those recommendations because someone just dreamed them up one night so I'll go ahead and trust them. I'll probably hear an earful of this once we have our own baby because my MIL works with the WHO on these very programs. I do find it strange to be breastfeeding a walking and talking child, but I can't say I wouldn't do it for sure until I'm in that situation.

[madeintaiwan]

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

I think you are overreacting. But you wouldn't be the only person to have these thoughts. I believe it would be extremely inappropriate for you to say anything. What is she doing wrong? IMO, it's no different, yet not the same, than all these two year olds (and older) you see running around with bottles and pacifiers in their mouths. To a nursing child, a breast is a source of nutrient and comfort. It's not like the kid is getting his jollies. I nursed my son until he was 2.5 years old and I nursed my daughter until she was 22 months only. I only stopped nursing her because she had chipped her teeth and they were decaying. When we lived in Davis, it wasn't a big deal. I have noticed that in general there are more negative attitudes towards nursing, especially long term nursing (after a year) in the midwest. I don't get it. I wouldn't feel it was ok to ask someone why their two year old still took a bottle (even though peds recommend that the bottle be ditched by 12 mos, NO recommendation exists for limits on nursing) or pacifier. Why would it be acceptable to say something to a nursing mother?

ETA: I nursed my son at 2.5 on the air plane ride for our move from CA to STL for medical school and I would have felt sorry for the person who dared to say something to me.

[Meenah]

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

If I were to say anything it would be "why are you giving a 2 year old McDonalds?" At least give him a little more time before you load him up with grease and salt. I'm not saying I didn't give my kids McDonalds at that age, because I did. I'm just trying to point out that if you feel something was wrong about the situation, it wasn't the breast milk (IMO)!!!!!

[DCJenn]

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

My take as a non-nursing/adoptive mom-

Not creepy at 2. They're still babies at two.

It's not the primary source of nutrition at that point, but functions as a comfort. So, I wouldn't freak out at all.

Now, at kindergarten? That's something different.

Jenn

[Flynn]

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

I think breastfeeding is one of those "personal" choices that is basically taboo to comment on like faith or religion.

How you feel about this topic and how long to breast feed IMO deals directly with your child rearing ideas, what part of the country you live in, and your experience with kids in general.

I nursed both of my kids for a year and -- looking back -- that was a bit of a challenge. I cannot imagine nursing past a year out of choice -- but that's me. Whatever anyone else does is their choice. Would I feel uncomfortable if I was in public and a stranger had a child asking to be breast fed? Honestly, yes. But I'd get over it and give myself the "don't judge" conversation in my head.

I've had friends breast feed well past 18 months and these children (I'm thinking of no more than 3 examples here) were extremely difficult to wean. Think about your worst case scenario and that was it for each of them. It was a nightmare on so many levels. This colored how I felt about nursing past a certain point to be sure. Does everyone have these experiences with breast feeding and weaning? I bet not, I just didn't know anyone who found it easy to wean post 18 months. It was a hurdle I wasn't willing to possibly undertake.

Being a parent is all about priorities IMO. What are your goals? What are you willing to go through to reach them? What's in the best interests of the child? It's a slippery slope sometimes.

When you don't have kids I think it's very healthy to evaluate what you will and will not do with your own kids (privately) -- then think it all through again when you actually DO have kids. DH and I had TONS of conversations about how we will choose to do things differently than my SIL and the three friends I previously mentioned. It was extremely helpful for us.
Obviously we had these conversations behind closed doors.

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

I would never say anything. It's a very personal choice, and it's nothing but healthy for the child.

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

I hope I didn't offend anyone, it wasn't my intention, the only reason I was surprised is that no one in my life with kids still breastfed after a year or so and when I mentioned it to those with kids, they thought it was a little strange. Maybe it's a regional thing, I never thought of that.

Thank you for your opinions.

[spotty_dog]

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

MissCrabbette has it right. Not only is it not "inappropriate" but it's highly recommended by the experts in the field as being healthiest for baby and mama, even (especially?) in developed countries.

Here's an informative link: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

You'll find that several of our members have nursed to two and beyond. Unfortunately social pressures are getting to me and it'll be a challenge to get Eddy to two. I wish I had your aunt's backbone to nurse in public!

[Auspicious]

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

When you don't have kids I think it's very healthy to evaluate what you will and will not do with your own kids (privately) -- then think it all through again when you actually DO have kids. DH and I had TONS of conversations about how we will choose to do things differently than my SIL and the three friends I previously mentioned. It was extremely helpful for us.
Obviously we had these conversations behind closed doors.

I think that's wisely stated.

But yes, echoing what everyone else said, there's a regional component to this, nursing at two isn't actually weird, it's her decision, and definitely do not say anything to her about it.

[migirl]

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

I also don't see anything wrong with it, but I suppose that's because I apparently have a more "liberal" attitude toward nursing. Do it wherever you want and for however long you want, I don't care. :huh: I nursed DS#1 until he was 18 months, and the only reason I weaned him was because I got pregnant with DS#2 and wanted to have my body to myself for awhile. :P Otherwise, I honestly would have probably nursed him indefinitely (meaning, I didn't have any cutoff age in mind ... not that I would be nursing a college student ). And I fully intend to nurse DS#2 until he's at least 18 months as well.

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

Do it wherever you want and for however long you want, I don't care. :huh:

I have the same opinion on breastfeeding now that I'm a mom. Lady, if I had seen a mother breastfeeding her 2.5 yo BEFORE I had kids, I probably would have had the same reaction as you so don't feel bad for feeling uncomfortable.

Breastfeeding is not easy, but the benefits are so overwhelming that if a mother chooses to breastfeed her 2.5yo, then I say more power to her.

[Flynn]

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

Lady, if I had seen a mother breastfeeding her 2.5 yo BEFORE I had kids, I probably would have had the same reaction as you so don't feel bad for feeling uncomfortable.

[MissCrabette]

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

Whew, I was starting to feel bad for saying I found it strange. Like I said, that's how it feels right now but I'm not going to dismiss the idea of breastfeeding until an older age until I actually have kids and know what I'm talking about.

I guess the kneejerk reaction comes from not being used to seeing older babies being breastfed and that's a bit sad. A few months ago I came across a little article that showed that the more educated and well off a mother was, the more likely it was for her baby to be breastfed. It also mentioned that breastfeeding until an older age was a lot more common on the west coast. The other surprising thing was that Asian children are by far the most likely to be breastfed, followed by Hispanic and white babies. That may explain why some of us have been less exposed to and maybe less comfortable with seeing a 2 year old that's still breastfeeding.

As someone else pointed out before, I'd be a lot more concerned about the baby eating McDonald's than anything else.

[spotty_dog]

Re: Breastfeeding at 2?

Whew, I was starting to feel bad for saying I found it strange. Like I said, that's how it feels right now but I'm not going to dismiss the idea of breastfeeding until an older age until I actually have kids and know what I'm talking about.

Oh, naw! I think when I had Eddy my goal was to nurse at least until a year, because continuing after that seemed weird. But we got there and found that 11 months 29 days was exactly the same baby as 12 months 1 day! And he is very much my BABY still and will be for some time to come. To others he's starting to look like a walking talking little boy, but it's just different when it's your kid that's blissed out on the same nursing comfort that he had when he was a tiny infant.

Here's a thread I stumbled across recently from back when I was pregnant with Edward: viewtopic.php?p=102697#p102697

When Eddy was around a year hubby mentioned seeing someone in the ER with a NURSING EIGHTEEN MONTH OLD!! And isn't that a bit OLD to still breastfeed? I just reminded him we weren't so far from that ourselves, and we'd just see how he felt when it was his kid. I know that just a few days ago he cuddled us both as the boy nursed to sleep and said, "Awww, he's SO HAPPY."