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Bye-bye Binky

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  • Bye-bye Binky

    So, DD gave up her Binky about three weeks ago. We read books in preparation, talked about the "Binky Fairy" coming to take them to new babies who needed them, the binky fairy brought her a cool camera, etc. I was prepared for a few rough nights of little sleep. This is my very easy-going child who typically sleeps 11 hours at night and 2-3 hours during nap. We are down to about 7 hours at night and maybe 1 1/2 hours at nap. I am exhausted. DD wants me to lay with her (she used to tell us to leave, even when we were just getting her tucked in), or worse, sleep in my bed, which we have never done. She's up at 2 or 3 in the morning for no particular reason. She just cannot seem to self-soothe. DH wants to go out and get new Binkys (which I am TOTALLY opposed to - I don't want to go through this again). Anyone have any ideas? I'm completely exhausted and DH is on a string of shifts with no break until next week (and DS doesn't nap, so even when DD is napping, I'm up). Help!
    -Deb
    Wife to EP, just trying to keep up with my FOUR busy kids!

  • #2
    Re: Bye-bye Binky

    Is the binky a security blanket or pacifier? If it's the paci...I cut the rubber part off of all pacis and showed them to both daughters and told them their pacis were broken. I let them hold and play with the hard plastic piece that was left. They both took the news well and didn't question it. I don't think it ever occurred to them that we could just buy more. This might be moving backward in your case, but maybe you could show her a "broken" paci?

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    • #3
      Re: Bye-bye Binky

      Sorry - we're talking pacifiers. We did cut them before the fairy came to take them (don't you know, they have to be "reconditioned" for the new babies? This is my DH at his finest). I wanted there to be no question that they couldn't come back. I called my pediatrician, who basically told me to call back in a couple of weeks if she's still not sleeping. Obviously, his wife gets up with the kids at night.
      -Deb
      Wife to EP, just trying to keep up with my FOUR busy kids!

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      • #4
        Re: Bye-bye Binky

        Hang in there!!!! This really can take a couple of weeks. You can do it!!!! How old is she?

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        • #5
          Re: Bye-bye Binky

          I vote for hang in there -- but this sure stinks for you, esp being pregnant. Could the paci fairy drop off another gift, like a cozy stuffed animal for her to cuddle with? Personally, I would probably cave in the interest of sleep and then try again in a few months but I can't say that is the best course of action.

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          • #6
            Re: Bye-bye Binky

            Originally posted by Deebs
            don't you know, they have to be "reconditioned" for the new babies? This is my DH at his finest
            Cute. And much more creative than my, "Uh-oh they broke."

            I'm assuming this is for your older child, although I don't know how old she is. Maybe she's just not ready. If it's so hard on everyone (and lack of sleep IS hard!) maybe you could give it back to her for a little while at nap time and bedtime and give her a little more time to develop self-soothing techniques.

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            • #7
              Re: Bye-bye Binky

              Thank you guys so much for your support!

              Full disclosure - she's 10... Just kidding! She'll be three in November. DS was born in December, and I was going to get rid of them before he was born. Then, I realized that he would have one and she would probably just take his. Well, this summer I came to the conclusion that DS doesn't even take a binky, despite my best efforts to get him hooked on one, too, and I was really letting her have it for my convenience in the car and to get to sleep. We had a three week trip to Chicago, and I decided that when we got back was a good opportunity where we would be home for a while to have her give it up. Maybe she's not ready, but if not now, when? I am fortunate - while DS is a bit more high maintenance, this is probably the most difficult thing we've been through with her. But now, I"m thinking she did everything else so easily because she had her binky with her!
              -Deb
              Wife to EP, just trying to keep up with my FOUR busy kids!

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              • #8
                Re: Bye-bye Binky

                Our kids were late paci users,four and three years old. "Hello Super Nanny, I'd like to turn myself in". Anyway, a bigger consideration for me is if your DD substitutes her thumb or fingers to console herself. DD is a closet thumbsucker, so I had to really make sure she wasn't going to switch if I took her paci away. It is a heck of a lot easier to take a paci away later rather than make her give up the thumb.

                Good luck!

                Kelly
                In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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                • #9
                  Re: Bye-bye Binky

                  You're not pregnant! Sorry, I had the wrong Deb.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Bye-bye Binky

                    You're not pregnant! Sorry, I had the wrong Deb.
                    Here I am! And feeling very large.

                    Three weeks seems like a long time for her to have sleep troubles. I've had rare occasions where I've let my kids cry it out in order to get back into a good sleep pattern, but it only took 2-3 nights for it to work.

                    It has been interesting how my kids have responded to pacifiers. DS needed one from the time he was two months old, and DD never used one. They're 16 months now. It was traumatic for DD when she had to wean from nursing, though. It's funny how their security needs are so different.

                    Maybe I'll change my mind, but at this point I have no intention of weaning DS off the paci. It's too much hassle for me, it's definitely NOT interfering with his speech, and the ped said it wasn't really going to harm his teeth (unless he uses it a LONG time). :huh: If it keeps him happy and isn't causing problems, I don't see a reason to get rid of it. If he wants to take it to preschool with him, then we'll have a problem.

                    Our boys were both told that when they were ready to let us know and they could buy a toy with their old binkys. It was not discussed much beyond that and they both came and told dh and I when they were ready so the transition was their choice and in turn a pretty easy one.
                    I like this idea!

                    Sorry I'm not much help with other ideas. I'm in the "let her have it back for a while" camp.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Bye-bye Binky

                      Okay, so after DD being up until 11pm last night, and then once every two hours after that, I was all set to give one to her tonight (I was going to let her have one of DS's that is still in the package). Then, I guess exhaustion set in, so far, for both of us. She asked me to lay down with her, I was too tired to argue, and she fell asleep about 5 minutes after that. Here's hoping it lasts...
                      -Deb
                      Wife to EP, just trying to keep up with my FOUR busy kids!

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                      • #12
                        Re: Bye-bye Binky

                        Deb!
                        Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Bye-bye Binky

                          I feel your pain because we're in the same boat here!

                          Sylvia just turned three and we had the binky fairy come and take the pacifiers away on Sunday. She left a pink tricycle behind, which is certainly no replacement. We had talked about it for weeks but she's still having a hard time. She's gone from 11 hours of sleep at night and a 2 hour nap to no nap and 9 hours of sleep at night. Everyone's cranky!!! Let me know if you have an tidbits of advice..

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                          • #14
                            Re: Bye-bye Binky

                            Originally posted by AtTheBeach
                            Is the binky a security blanket or pacifier?
                            I'm so glad you asked...I had no idea what a binky is. It sounded like of like a stuffed animal. But I felt like...oh, no! Another common maternal thing I am ignorant about! :huh: Sometimes I feel pretty clueless.

                            I hated pacifiers. DS used one for about four months, but was relentlessly picky! He liked only one model...of course, the most expensive, hardest-to-find one! I got tired of that pretty fast. One day, I just took the remaining pacifiers away, and put his hand in his mouth, instead. His fingers got really wrinkly, but at least I didn't have to order those stupid pacifiers on-line anymore! And those obnoxious, judgmental moms in the supermarkets and restaurants stopped giving me the evil eye when one of his pacifiers would drop, and I'd pick it up, dust it off, and give it back to him. Apparently, there's no socially acceptable version of the "Three Second Rule" for pacifiers. What was I supposed to do? Haul around a stockpile of them and pull out a vacuum-sealed, sterilized replacement?

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                            • #15
                              Re: Bye-bye Binky

                              Originally posted by house elf
                              Our kids were late paci users,four and three years old.
                              There are way worse things. My four-year-old picks his nose and grabs his penis in public. I spent at least a cumulative hour every day feeling completely embarrassed by his bodily proclivities. No one stares uncomfortably at a three-year-old with a pacifier...

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