Sleep Issues

[SuzySunshine]

Ok gang, I need some help. Adele turned 15 months old last Friday and has slept through the night a handful of times in the last few weeks. Before that she was a great sleeper, 8pm-7am without issue.

So when we went to her check-up on Monday her doctor said our main issue is probably that she's still falling asleep on a bottle and therefore isn't soothing herself back to sleep when she wakes in the middle of the night. Most nights she leisurely takes another 4-6 ounces when she wakes in the middle of the night.

So I guess I have a couple of questions for you that have BTDT. Is it to harsh to go cold turkey on the bottle? I know it will suck for a while but my doc's recommendation was to give her the bottle earlier and then read a book or give her a bath and THEN put her down. The bottle constantly puts her to sleep (she also gets one at nap) so I don't forsee that working. She takes a sippy cup without issue during the day and at all meal times.

Any help would be greatly appreciated, the lack of sleep is killing me and we're headed to Texas a week from today and I'd like to get some sleep on my vacation where she'll be sleeping in a pack n' play in the same room.

Or if you could tell me what your standard toddler bed time and nap time routines are that would help too.

[Sheherezade]

Oh, Cheri. This one is a killer. At least, it was for me. DS never did the bottle, but he nursed to sleep. Breaking that habit and getting him to settle without nursing was a bear. I don't think it is cruel to go cold-turkey; I do think you'd better be well rested and loaded up with oodles of patience. She will resist the new regime!

I have no good advice. You could taper off and gradually cut down on the bottle-to-sleep events. I think - in the end - that is what I did. I would often be "too busy" to nurse him and just put him off for ages....and he would get bored....and eventually just give up. Penelope Leach had some good advice on this. I believe it was a more gentle version of cry-it-out. The idea was that you say it is bedtime, establish a strict bedtime routine and when that is over become a boring, sedentary adult reading or knitting or something else a baby would not have an interest in. Do not return other than to repeat that it is bedtime. Do not do anything that may interest the child. Basically, shut the house down and wait.

If you stick with this for a few weeks, every child gets the idea. The world - for today- is closed. Go to sleep. Consistency, patience and time.

Obviously, once this is established you can return to your uber-cool after-baby-goes-to bed lifestyle.

Good luck! I sympathize!

[migirl]

Ugh, that especially sucks since she'd previously been such a good sleeper for you!

What happens when she wakes at night? Do you usually go to her immediately? If it were me, I'd probably let her just CIO when she wakes at night. Both my kids always fell asleep while nursing at night, and I'd just put them in the crib and let them sleep. No sense in waking them up just so they could fall asleep again on their own, ya know? But then if they woke in the middle of the night, as long as they weren't sick or anything like that ... they were on their own as far as falling back asleep. They're both champion sleepers now so it worked for me, but I know that CIO isn't for everyone so just ignore me if you're not comfortable doing it.

As for our bed/naptime routines... I always tried to make sure the nap routine was slightly different from bedtime, just so they would know the difference. (I don't know if this was necessary, but they're both good daytime and nighttime sleepers.) For naps, I usually rock them until they're either really drowsy or asleep ... and then for bedtime, they nurse. But, I wouldn't spend hours and hours rocking or nursing. So if a reasonable amount of time had passed (say, 15 minutes of rocking) and they still weren't asleep, I'd put them in the crib anyway. In the beginning there's usually some crying. But eventually they got to the point where I can just put them down wide-awake now and they'll put themselves to sleep, and they both sleep through the night (DS#1 is 3yo, DS#2 is 13mos).

Maybe I just got really lucky with good sleepers, but that's pretty much what worked for me.

[MrsK]

When my nephew was an infant, I did something similar to Angie's suggestion. If he woke during the night, I would attend to his physical needs but was as quiet and boring as possible. Kept the lights off/low, did not speak to him, just quickly changed the diaper or gave the bottle and put him back to bed. I just wanted to keep the stimulation minimal so getting up at night just wasn't that interesting.

[peggyfromwastate]

Any help would be greatly appreciated, the lack of sleep is killing me and we're headed to Texas a week from today and I'd like to get some sleep on my vacation where she'll be sleeping in a pack n' play in the same room.

Arrgh to sleep issues... But I'd hold off on doing any drastic changes until after the trip. You will most likely have to do some cold turkey, which will cause some CIO, and if you go on the trip AFTER doing that routine you run the risk of needing to resort to giving her a bottle to get her to sleep in a hotel/pack and play situation-- and then have to repeat the cold turkey routine...

ETA: When I refer to cold-turkey, I just mean no more bottles in bed with her at night. I'd go ahead and let her take a bottle to fall asleep in your arms, and then put her down without the bottle, but if she won't fall asleep with you, I'd just put her down in the bed awake, say good-night, and leave the room. Then the CIO process, which is painful, but you really want to tackle it all before she is able to get out of the crib, etc....

It's all about your comfort level, though. You'll find what works for you!

[SuzySunshine]

Thanks guys, all of this is helpful and we don't have an issue trying CIO. We did that for a while when we had some issues when she was much smaller. The problem now is she stands at the end of the crib closest to her bedroom door and just screams/cries. We let her go up to a 1/2 hour at night and she's surpassed that several times in the last few weeks. The CIO seemed so much easier when she couldn't stand.

Just for clarification we don't put her to bed with a bottle, she now has a sippy cup of water which someone recommended but she hasn't touched it as far as I can tell.

I guess what I will do is continue what we are doing for the bed/nap routine except that when she does wake up in the middle of the night I'm not giving her anymore bottles. If she cries for more then a 1/2 hour I'll go in calm her and then leave and give her another 1/2 hour - does that sound to harsh?

One one level I feel like we need to get rid of the bed/nap bottle sooner rather then later, on another level I've had more then one person tell me she'll give it up when she's ready and that may be closer to 2.

I agree about waiting until after the trip though I don't blame you for wanting to sleep!

I wish I knew the source to attribute this to but I don't. I have read in a couple of places that kids go through phases of dependence and independence. From my experience, trying to change a sleep routine is easier to accomplish when they are feeling more independent and less needy. If my kids were being needy or clingier during the day, changing stuff up in the middle of the night didn't go over as well (of course, that is a time when I want more of a break...). Even if they have been sleeping all night for months, it seems like we hit a bump in the road from time to time. I hope I don't jinx myself by saying this but Evie has been sleeping well lately but Anna is waking up in the middle of the night with nightmares.

Good luck and I hope everyone is sleeping all night soon.

[SuzySunshine]

Hey gang, I just wanted to say thanks for all of your help - Adele has slept through the night the last 6 nights. We've been letting her CIO in the middle of the night and her number of times and length has decreased so much that I didn't even hear her last night. She's also going back to sleep during naps because I'm letting her fuss a little if she's been down for less then an hour.

We leave tomorrow for Texas so hopefully the trip doesn't through her all out of whack.

[PrincessFiona]

Cheri,

With the drink in the middle of the night thing, I just gradually watered things down. I think their little tummies get used to a little snack in the night and those milk calories give them a couple of extra hours. It might take a couple of weeks, but it is the 'easy' way out.

Kris

[peggyfromwastate]

good luck on the trip-- in my experience, they do get out of whack but when they get home it doesn't take long to get back into their good patterns...