Afraid to sleep?

[Michele]

I'm sorry guys. I feel like lately I'm posting problems and frustrations. And I haven't had time to read and respond to everyone else. I'll catch up soon, hopefully.

Daegan isn't sleeping well. He turns 3 in August. And there are changes going on. I'm weaning him...he's down to nursing once a day in the morning (he stopped the bedtime nursing session almost a year ago). We're also working on potty training too. We've also never really had a formalbedtime routine. It's alwaysbeen dinner, some family TV time and then bed. He usually sleeps in bed with us or he has the option of his bed (Thomas sheets picked out by him) in our room. We all go to bed at the same time. Sometimes Russ will be up a little later. Naps at the sitter are usually with the other boys and he used to lay down readily. Lately he's been screaming and crying at her house (no changes there that we can think of). And at night at our house he's fighting it too. And often he chooses to sleep on the floor and then wakes and moves to our bed in the middle of the night. And when he moves to ourbed, he sleepscurled up at my feet. Not up on the pillow with me like he used to.

Does this sound normal/typical toddler/preschool behavior?

He does have nightmares (wakes up and tells us he is scared) but I thought he'd be ok since we are right there and let him snuggle and all.

We had the monster issue (used the monster spray) andhe hasn't mentioned monsters lately. He says he's scared whenever he is questioned about nor wanting to sleep but the "of what" is always different. Today he said he was scared of his penis. So I'm thinking that the "I'm scared" is a fun new phrase or he can't communicate what it really is that's bothering him.

Between Daegan sleep issues and Kai's frequent night nursing sessions (doesn't go 8-12h like he used to anymore. Now it's more like 3-4h), I'm exhausted and Russ and I aren't doing well either.

Somethings gotta give or it's gonna be me on the 6 o'clock news!

[DCJenn]

Maybe there's just too much going on for his little brain to process?

I can't really speak to the other issues- Nikolai never slept with us and obviously never nursed but I do know that when we have had sleep issues it's been when there are a lot of things happening at once-

When Rick deployed, we moved, we had constant home improvement projects and a ton of trips and visitors combined with potty training and an exhausted mom it was months of sleep problems. or maybe it was weeks. but it felt like years.

Good luck though!

Jenn

[peggyfromwastate]

I don't have much to add. Sounds very rough though! Kate had some fear issues, but she was a little bit older- she was 4 or 5.

[MrsK]

No experience but it does sound like an awful lot going on. Where does Kai sleep? Perhaps Daegan feels displaced?

[Deebs]

My three year old is scared of everything somedays (although I guess I should be glad she doesn't have a penis to be afraid of). We also go through the sleep issue. Some nights are fine, and others she is in my room every couple of hours. Most of my friends with kids similar ages are going through the same thing. It is so hard to take care of a family sleep-deprived! Hang in there!!!!

ps - If you have any friends who are willing to take your kids for a couple of hours, drop them off and go home to take a nap. I've done that a few times, and it is so worth it!

[rainbabies]

My babes have never been afraid to sleep. That sucks, michele. I'm sorry for both of you. Maybe he senses the stress? Along with the new baby?

Do you have a nightlight? Does he have a special lovey? Blanket, stuffed animal, baby?

As for the sleeping on the floor, how about putting his mattress on the floor? Or making a special sleeping spot with snuggly blankets or sleeping bag? That works well when one of my babes has a bad dream or is sick.

Good luck with what's going on with the little man.
Hugs

Sleep stuff is hard, Michele. I hope it gets sorted out soon.

I'm not sure that this would help. We had a sleep fairy visit our three year old when she stayed in her bed all night. My feeling was that her waking was not fear-related.

[Pollyanna]

Oh Michele, sleep issues are so hard. He's at a rough age. I would expect him to be "off" for the next few months. 2.75 till a little after 3 have always been tough ages for us. Each child with different issues. After that comes a really neat time followed by some really challenging times half way through the 3's. Hang in there, this too shall pass.

I agree, Tara. I also think that can be an age where fears start cropping up. Maybe it comes with the territory of greater awareness of the world and things that happen, can't be fixed, etc.

[Flynn]

I agree, Tara. I also think that can be an age where fears start cropping up. Maybe it comes with the territory of greater awareness of the world and things that happen, can't be fixed, etc.

I agree with the above.


This happend to my son as well. My dad encouraged us to help him make a sign that basically said "no bad dreams allowed." (It worked for my sister when she was little.) My middle son is now four and a half but he's had about 5 bad dreams since we put the sign up well over a year ago. He LOVED that his door had a sign and now there was a "rule" that said sleep time was just that.


It might be worth a try. I think my son felt a little out of control at this point in his life and it helped him "take charge."

[peggyfromwastate]

I agree with the above.


This happend to my son as well. My dad encouraged us to help him make a sign that basically said "no bad dreams allowed." (It worked for my sister when she was little.) My middle son is now four and a half but he's had about 5 bad dreams since we put the sign up well over a year ago. He LOVED that his door had a sign and now there was a "rule" that said sleep time was just that.


It might be worth a try. I think my son felt a little out of control at this point in his life and it helped him "take charge."

I've told my kids to turn their heads on their pillows to the other side to *change the channel* and then they couldn't have the bad dream anymore. But they were older when struggling through this...

Again...



Sleep issues are tough!

[spotty_dog]

Eddy claims his bedroom is scary. He hasn't willingly fallen asleep in there for weeks, except for the first night after I bought him a Thomas blanket. For now I'm just cuddling him down in our bed then transferring him to his, and he stays there till 5:30-6:15 or so. A couple of days ago he was coming out of his room in the morning and said, somewhere between conversational and accusatory, "Scary room." I feel powerless to help him, because I can't figure out what's scaring him. I hope Daegan gets things sorted soon! I wonder if the book Sleepless in America has any good tips, it's been too long since I returned it to the library but I remember it was pretty insightful about the causes of a variety of sleep problems.

[Michele]

thanks everyone! Its good to know that at least part of this is normal. Jenn, it makes sense that the changes could be affecting his sleep....i'll make an effort to keep as much consistent as i can during this time. Kai sleeps in the cosleeper on my right or in the bed on my right...Daegan used to sleep between Russ and I - so on my left. Lately it's the foot of my bed. Deb, i did leave the boys at the sitters on Wed so I could get a nap...it did help. Sylvia, we have 2 night lights..one on my side of the bed and one by his bed on the other side of the room. He doesn't have a "lovey" but he can bring most any toy to bed if he wants...in his bed he has a glowworm, a Mickey mouse doll and a cabbage patch doll he named "baby Kai." We have his napmat on the floor between his bed and Russ' side of the bed. But often he'll just lay on the carpet. I have thought about putting all the mattresses on the floor but Russ is opposed to that idea. Flynn and Nellie, I'll try the sign and maybe incorporate the sleep fairy too. Thanks Peggy and Tara for letting me know I'm not alone and that it should pass.

[Michele]

Thanks Alison. I feel the same way about not knowing what's really scaring him. If I find some time, I'll try to read that book.

[houseelf]

Kendall made night time visits at ages three and four. (She was in our bed until two). She has a strong mammalian need to cuddle at night time. We made a chart with stickers and when she got through three nights without waking us, we took her to Target to pick out a littlest pet shop. The next time it took five nights until it got stretched out. She still occasionally comes down, but she is much better. Occasionally, she sneaks into her big brother's bottom bunk.

I hate to say it, but she has never been our best sleeper. Of course, she is a super healthy eater. My first born is a sleeping champ, but is a junkfood junkie. Not to be a debbie downer, but I think that you get it somewhere.

Kelly