Leaving child with parents

[SuzySunshine]

Ok gang, we're leaving A with my parents Friday morning until Monday noon-ish. What do I need to leave with them for legal purposes? I have a medical document which says:

PERMISSION IS GRANTED: Any licensed physician, dentist, or hospital may give necessary emergency medical service to my child at the request of the person bearing this form with note to the allergies, medications and other information listed above.

But I had a thought last night, what do we do if God forbid something happened to DH and I? We don't have wills (I know, I know) but we've long decided that my younger sister would be Adele's guardian if something happened to us. Is there some kind of document I can put that in that will hold up? We obviously don't have time to have fully executed wills in 48 hours.

Anything else I should leave with them besides the usual routines and food instructions?

TIA!

[peggyfromwastate]

First of all, relax. Deep breaths... No advice on paperwork (I am way less prepared than you, so I'll be reading for tips!), but have a GREAT time!!! And I'm sure A will enjoy herself tremendously!

No advice either but have a great time!

[MrsK]

First, everything will be fine. It's highly unlikely that anything will happen to you or to A over the weekend.

Secondly, I *think* but I don't know your jurisdiction, you may be able to write a letter stating your wishes and have both of you sign it before 2 witnesses and a notary. Certainly, this does not replace a proper will but may be helpful in a pinch.

[DCJenn]

I always leave Nikolai's passport with my parents when they have him for a longer period of time. They've never needed it except once boarding a plane (along with my notarized letter stating that they could take him on the plane). If you don't have one, I wouldn't sweat it- at least you know they won't be leaving the country!

Jenn

[MarissaNicole]

I agree w/Mrs. K, but if you are going to include anything about money make sure that your two witnesses are not any of the people who are going to get any money. Also I really don't think it is absolutely necessary to get it notarized if you can't get around to it (but definitely helpful if you can get it done). Heaven forbid anything happens to you, the law or the judge is going to try and do what you wanted - therefore things are not as risky unless you have family that will be fighting over money and or guardianship of your children. That being said nothing replaces the importance of having a will.
When you get back look into meeting with a lawyer to put together a will, and anything else you may need.

[MarissaNicole]

p.s. I would put the names of your parents and or your siblings or anyone else who might be caring for them in your authorization of medical care. (I just don't like the concept of the bearer of this note has control).

[GrayMatterWife]

You could do what Mrs. K and MarrisaNicole have suggested. Hey, even if it doesn't hold up legally, at least your wishes are written down.

Be sure to leave a copy of your health insurance card and a signed document authorizing them to seek medical attention and to make medical decisions on Adele's behalf, to the degree you want to grant them this authority.

I also leave a copy of our insurance card (front and back).

[SuzySunshine]

Thanks guys, those are all helpful - I hadn't thought of the insurance card. She doesn't have a passport, but I should probably leave a birth certificate.

[alison]

For peace of mind, I'd do what has been suggested. It's hard to empty your head of the "what ifs" once they're already in there.

A will have a great time, I'm sure!

[Deebs]

Cheri -
We have a good friend who is an attorney who we basically told verbally before we had wills who DD would go to. He said that wills are obviously preferred, but was able to draw up some kind of short document that would hold unless really strongly contested. Do you know any attorneys who do any kind of general practice?

As for the medical stuff, if there is a true medical emergency, the ED will and has to treat her regardless of whether or not you're there, and if you weren't able to get there after she is stabilized, the doc could take medical custody of her temporarily (don't know if that's the right term). It happens more frequently than you'd think with kids in accidents, etc and adults who are incompetent to make their own medical decisions (like drunks, etc). The paperwork would help if she had to go to urgent care for something non-emergent, but that you want treated, like an ear infection or strep throat.

If you trust your parents, things should go pretty smoothly. We're pretty much down to hoping we packed enough clothes for the kids. My parents even keep the diapers stocked so I don't have to remember as much. For anything we forget that they don't have, there are always stores!

Enjoy your time together.

[houseelf]

GMW wrote:

You could do what Mrs. K and MarrisaNicole have suggested. Hey, even if it doesn't hold up legally, at least your wishes are written down.

Be sure to leave a copy of your health insurance card and a signed document authorizing them to seek medical attention and to make medical decisions on Adele's behalf, to the degree you want to grant them this authority.

While I agree that these documents are not *completely* kosher for probate purposes, you have to know that any judge in control of this decision would take this into consideration, even if for some bizarro reason it was found to be inadmissable. Probate courts do take handwritten documents into consideration, especially when there appears to be no coercion or self-serving interest by one of the witnesses.

At least you will have went through the effort of trying to specifically name a guardian, get in in writing, and have it witnessed.

Our wills have "alternate" guardians, meaning if my mom feels she is too old or unwilling to raise the kids, the next named guardian is my brother. Essentially, I named two alternates because I *really* do not want my MIL raising my kids. Further, I only name ONE individual, and not the spouse in the event of a divorce.

Hope this helps. The biggie for me, however, is the insurance card and the consent to administer health care. This is a far more likely scenario.

Kelly

[MrsK]

I think getting the document signed, witnessed, and notarized are the important elements. I've seen incomplete/unsigned wills thrown out of guardianship proceedings.

Our wills have "alternate" guardians, meaning if my mom feels she is too old or unwilling to raise the kids, the next named guardian is my brother. Essentially, I named two alternates because I *really* do not want my MIL raising my kids. Further, I only name ONE individual, and not the spouse in the event of a divorce.

Hijack. We're working on this issue too. Actually, I had a freak out last week and insisted that DrK address this "right now". . . I know, but I'm hormonal, right? Don't piss off the preggo. Anyway, we have a dilemma.

My brother and his wife have asked me to be guardian for their kids and I've agreed. (This was before DrK was in my life but he's aware of the arrangement and has agreed to do all he can to raise my brothers boys if they should come into our custody.) My brother seems like the natural choice to be guardian for our kids for many reasons. This is fine but we don't know where it leaves us for alternates, in the unlikely event that my brother and his wife predecease us, we may have custody of their children too. In that event, their kids would be rasied closely with our kids and we would not want them separated. Of course, we wouldn't want to send our kids to my SIL's family because they would not be related to our children. Do my brother's "alternate" plans impact where his kids go if something happens to us after he passes? Or do we decide where his kids go too?