Okay, don't judge me ...

[migirl]

... but my 3yo has started cussing.

I know exactly where he picked it up (from me ... again, ... I'm trying REALLY hard to remember to watch my mouth when he's around). Anyway, what to do when he says things I don't want him to? I've tried ignoring it, hoping he'd just "forget" about the words and the issue would go away ... but that didn't work. So I've tried gently reminding him that he shouldn't say those words, but he still does it. I don't think I should resort to punishment at this age, right?

(I should say at this point, that it seems like he does it without thinking. Like, he'll get frustrated about something (toy/his brother/whatever) and yell, "Dammit!" And honestly, my initial instinct is to laugh but I know that's not right. )

Any thoughts? Will this just go away on its own if I can remember to clean up my own language?

(I'm so embarassed about this... )

[DCJenn]

Well, my proud parenting moment was when waiting for a person to make a left turn at a light, my then three year old yelled out, "go Fuc*er."

It went away of it's own accord after we REALLY started watching our language around him and we paid zero attention when he did it.

Jenn

Nikolai kept it in context!

Jane, I'll laugh since it isn't my kid. I think I would ignore it. That seems like the sort of thing that the more you say not to do it, the more they do. Maybe you could also throw a new word out there -- like a DANG next time you bump your toe or drop something, etc. -- and he will pick that up instead.

[spotty_dog]

Eddy's still not good at enunciation so I just pretend it couldn't possibly be the F-bomb he drops when he's frustrated.

I'm thinking apologizing if you accidentally use a bad word would be good modeling.

[GrayMatterWife]

There was a period of time, when DS was just learning to talk, when he said the phoenetic combination "F-AH-K" constantly. There was something just particularly satisfying for him with that sound.

More than once, especially at Target, I got heated looks of disapproval.

It probably didn't help that I glared back and growled, "What you are looking at, b*tch?!"

(Just kidding!)

[MrsK]

Jenn's story reminded me of a friend of mine that bought her daughter one of those steering wheel playsets that attach to the front of a carseat. She had to take it away because everytime the kid played with it she'd start shouting and cussing. Apparently, that's how you drive a car.

I worked as a play therapy counselor for a while with underprivileged children. These kids used a lot of profanity. Sometimes it was to get a reaction or shock us, sometimes it was because they had limited vocabularies and really thought that it was an appropriate expression. We used to try to mirror back what the child was trying to say.

So, for instance, the child stumbles off the balance beam and says "Damnit." I'd say in a sympathetic tone, "It's really upsetting when that happens" or "You're frustrated." But I would not insist on any response from the kid. Generally, they'd ignore me (or act like they were ignoring me). We'd have that exchange a dozen or so times before the kid would learn to say "I'm frustrated" or "That's upsetting" instead of "Damnit."

[Chrisada]

DS said "f*ck you" in the sweetest voice ever in front of my never cursing mother. And then repeated it in case she didn't get it the first time. Great.

[Phoebe]

DD#3 (2.5) says damn it regularly and in the correct context. I kept reminding her to say Darn it and then she says, "No Mommy, I am supposed to say Oh pickles".

[mommax3]

I would switch to "dang it" and he will too, eventually. I don't think he is too young for you to teach him that there are words that are not polite to use, or polite to use in public, depending on your personal preferences. The appropriate use of language (and tone) is a conversation that you will be having with him off and on for many years to come, if my experience is typical.

[houseelf]

Umm...I can only commiserate.

DD (4) was playing the alphabet game with a friend of mine who was watching her while the baby was being born. My girlfriend would say a letter and ask her to come up with a word that began with that letter. When she got all the way through the alphabet to letter 'V', DD replied "Vulva" right in front of my friends' kids and my friend's very religious mother. Really, I'm so proud.

Kelly

My instinct is to laugh as well! I guess I can say this because I don't have children of my own to worry about. I thought it was hiliarious when my niece said cuss words. But then I realized that wasn't too cute after a while and my laughing only encouraged it...

[HouseofWool]

We aren't much better here.

When DH was cleaning out the garage in preparation for our move, DS was "helping" and saw a piece of metal embedded in the cement floor. Pointing at it he said, "Dad, what the hell is that?"

How do you keep a straight face?

FWIW, I am in the substitute and ignore camp.

However. . . last summer driving in downtown Pittsburgh, trying to get to the Children's Museum, I was using our new GPS. It was totally, um, f'ed, up. I had yelled for everyone's complete silence so I could listen to the stupid thing. At one point we were driving down a street with a river to our left. "In 100 feet turn left" prompts the GPS, which we obviously couldn't.

From the backseat I hear "We can't turn left you dumbass" from my angelic four year old.

[migirl]

OMG, you guys ... this makes me feel soooooooo much better. Thank you! I'm going to try the substitue and ignore thing, hopefully that will help with the f-bombs that he's dropped occasionally.

[Michele]

Daegan says he has to drop a duece too! And he says "mother of god" bc that's what I say instead of mfer. But he also says f'in to describe something. Yeah. We're proud.