Toddler Bed

[SuzySunshine]

So we put up the toddler bed today with the thought process that we'd just see how it goes. Well nap was awful - we also took all of A's toys out of her room but we did right before nap and I think she thought we were taking them away. So we let her cry for a little, I went in and laid down with her for a little and when all that failed we put her back in her crib and she took a VERY short nap.

So for bedtime we did her usual routine except that I sat her on bed with her sitting next to me while I read her book. After we finished the book though she didn't want to get back in the bed. I laid her down, tucked her in and before I even got to the door she was screaming/crying. So we put her in her crib, she still cried but only for a couple of minutes and is now asleep.

Any advice from those that have BTDT? We have time, which is good.

[Deebs]

Does she have a comfort item or something that she could sleep with that she's really into? Maybe a new dolly or blanket is in order for her "big girl" bed. I'm all about the bribery, I guess. It works!

When we moved Rachel to her big girl bed, we played it up as this huge deal. It was SOOO special and she was SOOO big and SOOO lucky to have a big girl bed. We also took her shopping and let her choose new sheets. She was a wee bit older than A at the time, I think 2 yrs 3 months. But she took to it right away.

Unfortunately, none of the same "big girl" tactics are working with potty training . We're going on 6 months in pull-ups now and still having battles. She's well over 3 years old now. Ugh.

Would you be able to put the new baby in a bassinet in the room for a bit or is he going straight to the crib? Hope it turns out ok

I remember trying to get Eliana into a toddler bed... it was HELL! lol
So we finally ended up with two kiddos in cribs until she decided she was a fan of the toddler bed. I just couldn't put up the fight having a brand new baby.

I agree though, playing it up to be a REALLY big deal, being a BIG girl etc etc., might help too!

I am terrible at this because so far each of my children have been SO completely different in all areas, sleep, beds, eating, potty training....

[SuzySunshine]

She does have a blanket that she sleeps with, I hadn't thought about a new comfort item for the new bed though...

We do not want the expense of buying another crib or a bassinet, A slept in her crib from day one and we plan to do the same with #2 which is why we're starting this when we still have 8 weeks to go.

We'll continue playing up the big girl and see how it goes.

Buying another crib is expensive and a pain in the butt...

The only way we justified it was buying one of those cribs that converts into a toddler bed and then again into a double bed.

Good luck! 8 weeks is still a lot of time to get her used to the idea I am sure

[GrayMatterWife]

My BTDT, FWIW advice:

Take the crib out of A's room. Don't let her see it. Don't give her any other option.

She may crawl onto the floor and sleep in the corner for a couple of nights. She may completely freak out and wail and moan and fall asleep in a puddle of tears in the middle of the floor. By about Night 3, she'll get it figured out. In the meantime, no coddling. No books, no songs, no stalling. Tuck her in, say prayers, turn off the light and close the door. She'll get the picture eventually.

But I am really no-nonsense bedtime person. There's no last-minute sips of water, bedtime stories, nightlights, etc. in our world. I'm sure my draconian style is appalling to many. I just hate bedtime headaches.

In protest of some great injustice I inflicted upon him (I think it was the offense of turning off the lights to his disapproval one night), one night DS ripped off all the sheets from the bed. I made him sleep on his sheetless bed for several nights, until laundry day (when I change the linens). Reminded me of the time that I slammed the door in my mother's face when I was about twelve. Very calmly, my father unpinned the hinges on the door and removed it. I didn't get the door back for six months. Haven't slammed a door in anger since...

[DCJenn]

I agree about removing the crib if possible. We were lucky (however lucky it is to move as often as we did) that the crib was on the moving van on it's way to storage so we found a Toddler bed and set it up as a whole "welcome to your new house thing." I think I posted the picture of him falling asleep w/ his upper half on the bed and his feet still on the floor.

It takes some adjustment.

Jenn

Very calmly, my father unpinned the hinges on the door and removed it. I didn't get the door back for six months. Haven't slammed a door in anger since...

Ohhhhh I really should try this!!!

[migirl]

I agree with Abigail, but then we don't screw around with bedtime either. I wouldn't do any "extra" stuff with her you normally wouldn't, you could start some bad bedtime habits that might be hard to break. (For example: I have a friend who now has to lie down with her daughter until she falls asleep ... for every single nap and bedtime.)

With DS#1, we bought a book about sleeping in a big-boy bed (it's an Elmo book, I think it's called "Big Enough for a Bed"), bought fun new sheeets/bedding/etc., talked about it a lot ... and then one night I just moved him in there. We did his bedtime routine in the new room, and when I went to shut the door he cried a little bit but then ... just went to sleep and has been fine ever since.

She'll go to sleep eventually, you just might find her asleep on the floor in the morning! She'll figure it out, just give it some time. I have to warn you: naps might start going really badly or going away entirely. Once they figure out that they don't *have* to stay in bed and there's other stuff they can do ... sleep doesn't seem so interesting!

[Flynn]

What Abigail and Mgirl said.

We called nap time "quiet time." DD was allowed to play in her room quietly (we started when she was 20 months old), color, do puzzles etc. She often times played for 30 minutes and napped for 60. She was allowed a water bottle. She wasn't allowed to call for me unless she was hurt or she had to go potty. That 90 minutes (most of the time it was 45) was all I got in the way of a break but she consistently slept from 7 to 7 at night for YEARS so I can't complain.

Fussing received no attention unless she did something to her toy in anger an then it was taken away for at least a couple of days. She had a favorite stuffed animal I used as guilt. "Henry is tired. Can you please lay down with Henry and snuggle him so he can rest?" That usually got her to nap more often if she really needed it.

My kids gave up their naps early and were not fussy at dinner. Some kids just do. By 2.5 years both of my older kids rarely took naps BUT I got at least 45 minutes of quiet time every day because of this system. Bedtime was consistently between 6:45 and 7:15 so I had "my time" after bed time. They were long days. Residency was at it's most difficult when DS #1 was born and DD was younger than three and a half. The first year of DS #1's life was a whirlwind of Mommy being tired and planning two activities for everything. Meals were nuts, bathtime was crazy, and I just went with what I could pull off.

Good luck! Nothing is a failure IMO unless you see no results (however small) for at least FOUR days. Painful for the parent but it is what it is.

[DCJenn]

We do the "I know you're not tired but you need to play quietly" directives, too. I can't mess around with bedtimes or naps because I need the break as much as he needs the sleep. Kindergarten has thrown him for a loop, too. He's napped almost every weekend day since he started. I've found him asleep on the floor more than once after being told to go play quietly. I figure better to sleep on the floor than to not sleep at all.

We have neighbors whose daughter has been with Nikolai from pre-school on and part of the reason why we like hanging out with them is that they're super strict about bedtimes, too. That makes it easier to control social situations- when Lily has to leave, so does Nikolai and vice versa!

The toddler bed was a novelty for about two weeks. He got out and messed around (thats when I removed most things that he could climb, made sure that all cords were inaccessible and made sure that the dresser was anchored to the floor and the wall!) and we did have to go in a few times and tell him to get back into bed. That's when I started this routine of pretending to tape him into bed. He still asks me to tape him into bed every once in a while. (I would pretend to tape his feet, the his knees, then his tummy, then his shoulders, then I would tape his head to pillow, his pillow to the bed, the bed to the floor. It cracked him up but it kept him in bed!)

Sleep transitions are scary because if you've got a good thing going you don't want to mess it up.

Jenn

[SuzySunshine]

Well she's taking her nap in her toddler bed...I put her down like I do everyday and she cried for 7-10 minutes and then it was quiet, I gave her about 15 more minutes then I went in to check on her and she was asleep IN the toddler bed. I now hear her fussing so she slept for about 45 minutes but I guess I'll take it over nothing. We'll see how bedtime goes...

[GrayMatterWife]

Well she's taking her nap in her toddler bed...I put her down like I do everyday and she cried for 7-10 minutes and then it was quiet, I gave her about 15 more minutes then I went in to check on her and she was asleep IN the toddler bed. I now hear her fussing so she slept for about 45 minutes but I guess I'll take it over nothing. We'll see how bedtime goes...

Hey, that sound like progress right there!! Good luck!

[SuzySunshine]

Well we put her to bed with her regular routine - we read her book in the living room, then she usually gives dad hugs and kisses and walks into her room herself. You could tell she totally didn't want to go in there. She walked to the door and then turned around and walked back to the living room, twice. So we finally got her in the room, she started crying as soon as I picked her up, I hugged for her longer then usual, told her I loved her and put her in bed. She cried for less then 2 minutes and then after about 20 minutes she started screaming bloody murder. DH and I both went in there and gave her hugs and put her back in bed. She whined a little but then fell asleep. She's now been asleep for over 2 1/2 hours, we're going to stick our heads in as we get ready to go to bed to see if she's actually asleep in the bed.

One thing I think we will do is add a really dim night light. Because it gets light so early here and stays light so late we have black out shades in her room which makes the room PITCH BLACK. I can see how that would be very scary in a new bed. So we'll do that and see if that helps.

One short nap and now (part) of a night - fingers crossed...