I know all babies are different, but....

The sling is getting soiled, because I drop the food I'm eating on it! She's always nuts just as I'm preparing (or eating) dinner. I know it's not safe to eat hot food over her, but I usually arrange the sling so that the food will hit it and not her. Eeeks! That sounded so bad!

I've got a sling I can send you. Don't buy another one. And unless it's got fish sauce on it or something, a little stain here or there isn't going to hurt.

Babies cry, and as you can see from the responses, crying at that time of day isn't unusual. Your dh is just going to have to deal with it -- they can't always be soothed. Maybe S can give her a bath while you make dinner?

Mine never liked the paci much -- very frustrating at the time, but I figure it's one less habit to deal with when they're older. You can also try putting on some soothing music -- or even try having S vaccuum! I swear, my niece loved the sound of the dustbuster so much that her mom bought one to keep in the car.

[Pollyanna]

Sounds completely normal. We had the crying with E from about 8pm then for 4-5 hours straight of just screaming. Nothing you could do would make it better or worse, we just had to wait it out with lots of rocking, and cuddling, and most importantly knowing it would improve. I think 6 weeks is a bit early to expect a regular sleep pattern. Good time to start a routine but realize that every night will likely be different for a while. Hang in there, all the crying is totally and completely exhausting.

[Pollyanna]

I wanted to add that this is especially hard on dh, because he feels like he is unable to soothe her. He comes home just as M is kicking into high gear, and just as he's ready to take over for me, she does this. So he really feels like she only likes me. I try to show him that it's not just he that she hates during those two hours, but it's heartbreaking to see dh hand her back to me feeling like he's not home enough for her to have grown attached to him.

I know he must feel awful but he has to stop taking it personally (I know its hard to do) and realize that this is what babies do, it has nothing to do with him. He needs to also realize that there is likely nothing either of you can do but hold her and love her. She is going to cry no matter what. Every baby likes different things but most are undistractable during this phase so it just becomes a waiting game. Have him try walking her outside (while holding her, not in the stroller), this will give her some fresh air and give you a break from the crying.

Is 3 hours of sleep at a time alright for this age?!

Yeah - 3/4 hours is really the best you can expect at this age. Breastfed babies really only go 2 - maybe 3. Also, don't attribute anything to waking her to feed her when she was a newborn. They don't learn behaviors at that age. Just as you can't spoil a newborn, you also can't teach them bad sleep habits. This is just what babies do.

[houseelf]

My newborn went through this phase for about six weeks this summer and it was very stressful. He was a touch colic-y from 5-9 every night. It came on quickly and left quickly six weeks later. The kids were stressed and it did throw me for a loop.

Putting him in the Bjorn and power walking helped a lot. Of course, once I stopped walkign, he went batshit again. I definitely got in my 10,000 steps!

Swaddling, swaddling, swaddling. Trying to remove all the stimulus (hard with two older ones screaming/running/fighting was difficult.

Also, the crying thing with your hubby. Really, I'm the QUEEN of not wanting anyone upset and not leaving the baby. However, when a parent works through a tough time with a kid, it stamps a bonding experience on them. They get to know their whole child for who they are a bit better for it. I'm not kidding when I say you don't want to rob your DH of this experience. (This is beside the obvious fact that you must take a break!)

Oh, yeah, FWIW, my little guy is four months old and is just now sleeping for five hours at a time. Until about two weeks ago, we were still at 3 hour intervals, which seems to be about right for all of my BF babies. Fortunately, I'm more ah..."mature" this time around and seem to require less sleep as I age so the sleeplessness isn't wearing on me as bad. Maybe that is why in Hollyweird they all have babies when their in their fifties?

Kelly

[Michele]

Yep yep yep yep yep. Can your DH wear her in the sling? It's a good way for a new dad to bond with a baby and for him to learn soothing techniques. She'll like hearing his heartbeat and babies like the deep voice/rumble of a male voicebox. So have him tuck her head in his neck, and sing to her/talk to her.

[DCJenn]

Oh, and the nightly meltdown doesn't go away, just as Nellie said. The difference is instead of an inconsolable newborn, you get a bratty obnoxious kid. (who refuses to admit that he's 1) tired and 2) hungry)

I'm convinced that's why the human beings of yore invented happy hour. How else do you get through this parenting gig? Chocolate, booze or both.

Jenn

[migirl]

Yep, yep, yep ... yep to everything. My kids both did the same thing around 6 weeks, neither of them liked the pacifier (although I've heard different babies like different ones, so if you have some different kinds lying around you might try those ... although I kind of agree w/ Shakti, I felt like it was one less "bad" habit I had to break later on), DH always came home just as they were ramping up for a cry-fest, and I can't even count how much time I spent wearing/walking around with my babies. This will all pass and get better ... then worse ... then better again. Hang in there, the first few months are SO HARD!!

The pacifiers are a mixed bag in terms of habit down the road and needing them to sleep. But, oh what a wonderful thing they are when you can pop it in and they stop crying. Some babies are particular about what kind they like.

It sounds like her crying is most intense around this time of day? E had a hard time all day, with a peak around that time, and ended up having reflux. If it doesn't get better after a few weeks or seems to happen all day, I'd suggest asking the pediatrician about it. Also agree with the suggestions that DH try a sling or carrier to take her outside and try his hand at soothing her. It is hard when more of his interaction is with a fussy babe but it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with the time of day.

The three hour spurts of sleep are normal for that age. I hope her schedule starts to shift soon, both for the sleep and fussiness. Hang in there. I wish I could come and hold her so the two of you could have dinner together!

[peggyfromwastate]

6 weeks is typically THE culmination of the colick-fussy stage for most infants. Just power through, it will get better. The sleep schedule will start to fall into place at around 4 months. Until then, try to tag team as much as possible so that someone can get enough rest!

FWIW, we didn't have luck with the pacifier until about 2 mos, then she really got into it. Our thumb suckers didn't find their thumbs until about 8 weeks, and when they did that was a huge help. Also, the 3 hr spacing for feeds is really good too. I sometimes did 2.5 hr at 6 wks even, if it seemed like she was really hungry...

Hang in! You're almost there! I remember being there a year ago almost to the day, and I was totally stressed about the whole feeding, colicky period, etc. I just wanted it to end, and it did for us, and it will for you!

[peggyfromwastate]

As far as the whole crying when the Dr comes home, DH still usually hits home at the worst time of day. The kids are all tired from the school day, and DH usually gets there sometimes in the midst of bath and bed. J will usually be happy to see him, unless he tries to hold her, then she screams. The other kids will put on their performances of bad behavior to get as much negative attention as possible. Maybe this colicky thing is a way for the new dads to get the idea of an ideallic home life out of their minds early! Regardless, don't feel badly if the baby is crying when your DH gets home. It's not like you WANT her to cry. Just let him suffer with you...

We also let the kids cry while we ate, especially with the twins. We just called it *dinner music*--it did them no harm and possibly we would've never eaten had we tried to console them...

[alison]

I've got a sling I can send you. Don't buy another one. And unless it's got fish sauce on it or something, a little stain here or there isn't going to hurt.

Believe it or not, it's got fish sauce on it. It's Nellie's fault, because she mentioned Vietnamese food, and soon after, I HAD to have it...

It's also got dried soy milk spit-up on it, and that stuff STINKS! Holy crrrrap!

So, I'd love to take you up on your offer of a sling. We could definitely use one in our ammo.

Dh hates the crying. He tries to comfort M, and that almost makes things worse. She gets even more wound up. He is hesitant to take her out of the house when she cries, because he doesn't want to disturb the neighbors. Well... I don't know, but the neighbors he's so concerned about have kids of their own who aren't exactly quiet! Plus, once she's out of the house, she tends to calm down. She's loves to be out and about, loves Starbucks (I think it's the background noise, the espresso machines and grinders at work, etc. etc.). If we were still in Chicago, I'd take her to the 24-hour Starbucks.

We do vacuum and leave Natalie Merchant on (I listened to an old CD of hers over and over again when I was pregnant). She does seem to like those sounds!

As far as the pacifier is concerned, I do sit with her and try to shove that puppy in her mouth. If I don't do that, she spits it out immediately. She'll cry even harder if I try to hold it in her mouth. She wants nothing to do with it. I will definitely revisit this with a different pacifier, because it would be awesome if it worked... Thanks for the advice. She's not a huge fan of sucking on my finger, either. I think my fingers are too small.

She doesn't like the vibrating function on her rocker. Sheesh!

[Flynn]

It's the witching hour. It's pretty common. My M seems to lose it from about 4 to 6PM. I think you're doing well -- it's just a fussy period. You can try to plan to do what she likes in that time -- maybe move bath time to that period? Take a walk?

You're doing great. You really are!

Well said.

I Agree!

Dh hates the crying. He tries to comfort M, and that almost makes things worse. She gets even more wound up. He is hesitant to take her out of the house when she cries, because he doesn't want to disturb the neighbors. Well... I don't know, but the neighbors he's so concerned about have kids of their own who aren't exactly quiet! Plus, once she's out of the house, she tends to calm down. She's loves to be out and about, loves Starbucks (I think it's the background noise, the espresso machines and grinders at work, etc. etc.). If we were still in Chicago, I'd take her to the 24-hour Starbucks.

He'll have to get over it. He just ... does. Sorry, it's one of those things. No one likes the crying.

I will get the sling in the mail as soon as the plague has left my home. In the meantime, take some baby wipes to the icky spots on the sling. It's amazing (and a bit frightening) what those things will get out. My friend's son got OREOs all over her white ulpholstered chair, and lo and behold, she cleaned it up with wipes.

[niener]

She's loves to be out and about, loves Starbucks (I think it's the background noise, the espresso machines and grinders at work, etc. etc.). If we were still in Chicago, I'd take her to the 24-hour Starbucks.

Do y'all have one of those noise machines or a background noise cd you could play for her? That might emulate the soothing sounds she hears at Starbucks.