yet another potty training thread

[Michele]

Daegan turned 3 in August. He was doing pretty well with pee (at the sitter's house anyway) but then my mom came to visit and he stopped going to the sitter for a week and he regressed. This was about 6 months ago.

Since then, I can occasionally get him to pee on the potty, but he'd rather not. I figured there'd be set backs after Kai was born, and I *thought* I was fully on board with the whole "he'll train when he's ready." But I'm starting to doubt that he'll ever be ready! I'm sure every parent has to get to this point!

My big question is, is this normal? When I see him hide away to poo in his diaper, I ask him if he'd like to use the potty (followed with some bribe - glow stick, stickers, etc). He immediately says no, and tries to get away from me. Then he refuses to be changed for a bit afterwards (as in running away). And usually I have "interrupted" the process, and I end up changing him, and then he finishes pooing in another diaper and I have to change him again.

I'm guessing this is all normal. I don't want to make him anal retentive and constipated by interrupting his poo. But I'm not sure what else to do. He doesn't like to pee on the potty any more either. He'd just rather stay in a diaper.

Will he really get to some point where he will just walk up and tell me he has to go potty? Or do you have to actively do something as the parent?

[HouseofWool]

With Caleb - I was so frustrated that I finally told E that poo training was his job. He followed C around with the little potty for a weekend and it was done. (Same thing happened when it was time to take the training wheels off the bike.) If you manage to get a few days when Russ is around, I would divide and conquer. One take Kai and one take Daegen. Have D go bare bottomed and be prepared for accidents.

[migirl]

Maybe you've tried this already and maybe it doesn't work for everyone, but I put my kid directly into underwear rather than trying to coax and cajole him into using the potty. It was rather messy for a few days, but he got the hang of it really quickly. He was completely potty-trained in 5 days, start to finish. He hated being wet or dirty in his underwear, it was just really more uncomfortable than being in a diaper.

[Pollyanna]

This is soooo normal. I'm sure that I have mentioned in many threads that our children were at least 3.5 before they were potty trained. Our boys were exactly how you describe Daegan. They did not care if they sat in poop all day, bribes did not work. No amount of candy, trips to the zoo, games, toys, even a trip to Disney could bribe them into using the potty. They were in control and boy oh boy did they let me know it. But one day they all started using the potty, to be honest I don't even remember when or why they started but it had to be up to them. To be honest, I am amazed that people can get their kiddos to pee for one M&M.

I know it is not easy and I know what a huge pain it is to have the other moms say, "oh really, he's NOT potty trained yet?" and then list all the ways you can get him to use the potty (thanks lady, like I haven't tried those things). But I can promise it will happen and he will not go to kindergarten in diapers. Hang in there.

ETA: I also have never found cloth diapered children train faster.

[DCJenn]

I remember in the midst of it, Jane was dealing with the exact same issue with Matthew and we were both like, "well, they'll have to go to college together so they can share a room on the 'not-potty-trained' dorm."

There was no amount of screaming, crying (mine), bribery, cajoling, begging, being naked (him), being in big boy underpants, etc. that motivated him.

For Nikolai, it was his pretty teacher at Crunchy School telling him how proud she was...

jenn

[JaneDoe]

This is soooo normal. I'm sure that I have mentioned in many threads that our children were at least 3.5 before they were potty trained. Our boys were exactly how you describe Daegan. They did not care if they sat in poop all day, bribes did not work. No amount of candy, trips to the zoo, games, toys, even a trip to Disney could bribe them into using the potty. They were in control and boy oh boy did they let me know it. But one day they all started using the potty, to be honest I don't even remember when or why they started but it had to be up to them. To be honest, I am amazed that people can get their kiddos to pee for one M&M.

This is exactly where we are with our son. Nothing works unless HE decides he wants to pee in the potty. Somedays he pees in the potty during the day with no accidents and then the next day he pees in his pants the whole day. It makes no sense to me. So far, ds absolutely refuses to poop in the potty.

My dd was the same way. Nothing worked until SHE decided she was ready. It was like a light switch. One day she refused to use the potty at all and then the next she was completely toilet trained, including at night. It really is frustrating to realize what little control we have in this area.