Sleep!

[MrsK]

I know it's only been a few days but do any of you have tips on getting Baby K's nights and days sorted out? The party starts at about 11PM and goes until sunrise around here. Literally, I've been waiting for the sun to come up so I can sleep. He would sleep for 5-6 hours during the day if I didn't wake him to feed (every 2 or 3 hours). In the evenings, either he wants to nurse for 20 minutes of every hour or he just won't let us put him down.

For instance, tonight, we gave him a bath at 10PM hoping that it would wear him out (he hates baths) and then nursed until 11. We put him down to sleep. He woke up 30 minutes later, nursed for about 20 minutes, and has refused to sleep since. I pick him up, he falls asleep 2 minutes later, I put him down, he wakes up screaming within 2 minutes. It's 4AM now. He's sleeping in my lap. If I put him in the crib or bassinet, he'll wake up. He'd sleep in our bed but I don't want him there. (Too crowded/dangerous for baby.)

[Michele]

Re: Sleep!

Unfortunately this is totally normal. There really isn't anything you can do this young. Sleep when he sleeps. Things will improve around 6weeks but until then....

Sleep when he sleeps. Wake him more often in the afternoon/evening to feed. Like every hour to try to tank him up (though his newborn stomach is so small he really can't. Sleep when he sleeps. Wearhim in a sling before bed to "rock him to sleep.". Sleep when he sleeps.

Seriously though. He is really too young. He just spent the last several months snuggled and lulled to sleep during the day by your movements. It's just going to take some time for his system to adjust.

Sleep when he sleeps.


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[ladymoreta]

Watching this thread for myself in a few months. Hope everyone keeps the great advice coming! (Thanks Michele!) MrsK, I really hope he gets on a better schedule soon.

[Pollyanna]

Ditto what Michele said, you kinda just have to go with it and sleep when he sleeps. When he is a bit older I handle the day/night confusion by feeding extra during the day (every1-2 hours). Hang in there, it does get better. In the mean time, sleep when he sleeps, keep him swaddled, maybe try a swing, sleep when he sleeps, and just know this will pass before you know it.

[Urowife]

Are you swaddling? Use any white noise, like a fan? I really recommend reading The Happiest Baby on the Block. There is a DVD too in case watching would be easier than reading something. If you haven't heard of it, basically he recommends 5 S's: swaddle, swaying, shhing, side position, and sucking. The book/DVD explains the detail (techniques, etc.). I also second tryIng to tank baby up in the afternoon.

it does get better, hang in there. The first night home with my DD was a disaster. She did not want to be put down, so we all took turns holding her throughout the night. It got better, and once I started to use the miracle blanket for swaddling, she slept much better. (highly recommend the miracle blanket if baby seems to escape regular swaddling).

Also, try to expose him to daylight in the morning, and keep nighttime low key (low lights if any, only soft talking, no playing, etc). That can help with the day/night reversal. But, really, it just takes some time for him to mature.

[SuzySunshine]

I will give you hope that it did not take R 6 weeks to figure it out. But it did take him about 2. For now sleep when he sleeps, he'll get there soon.

[MrsK]

Are you swaddling? Use any white noise, like a fan? I really recommend reading The Happiest Baby on the Block. There is a DVD too in case watching would be easier than reading something. If you haven't heard of it, basically he recommends 5 S's: swaddle, swaying, shhing, side position, and sucking. The book/DVD explains the detail (techniques, etc.). I also second tryIng to tank baby up in the afternoon.

it does get better, hang in there. The first night home with my DD was a disaster. She did not want to be put down, so we all took turns holding her throughout the night. It got better, and once I started to use the miracle blanket for swaddling, she slept much better. (highly recommend the miracle blanket if baby seems to escape regular swaddling).

Also, try to expose him to daylight in the morning, and keep nighttime low key (low lights if any, only soft talking, no playing, etc). That can help with the day/night reversal. But, really, it just takes some time for him to mature.

Check. Doing all of this. I'm going to let DrK read this too. He doesn't understand why Jonathan cannot be comforted. Last night he desperately woke me up and asked me to nurse again. "How long has it been since you nursed him?" Um, it had been 16 minutes. The tank was empty. I told DrK that we should be doing laundry, answering e-mail, making our grocery list, etc. during the night when we are up with him and that daddies can cuddle, sway, shush, etc. just as well as mommies do. No boobies required.

[Deebs]

This is such a hard thing to go through. I second everyone's advice to sleep when the baby does actually sleep. DD had her days and nights confused for a long time. Swaddling and a pacifier helped a ton (at night, I swaddle in a blanket fresh out of the dryer). During daytime naps, make sure the baby is in the middle of activity - a light room not sheltered from noise.

While the baby is too young now to really sort this out, when he gets older, it "should" help distinguish from light, daytime sleep and heavier bedtime sleep. We got this advice from our pediatricians with the first two kids, and while I thought I was following that advice, I now realize (because we definitely do it with DD2) that we weren't really doing it, and it does make a huge difference. DD2 is the first child I've had who dozes during the day, but really only wakes up to feed at night.

No real other advice other than, if you have people coming to help or staying after the Bris, don't feel the need to visit with them. If you don't feel like you have to be with the baby to care for him, let them do so and sleep. Whenever you get the chance...sleep.

[alison]

I think he's hungry. Take this with a grain of salt, but the reason dd did this the first few days was because she was starving.

Has your milk come in yet? Mine didn't until day 8, and if I hadn't supplemented with formula on day 6, none of us would have gotten any sleep ever.

Also, for us, once the eating thing was under control and she started to thrive, and I had started pumping with one of those industrial pumps (Medela Symphony), dd's sleeping was far more regular at night. Mine wasn't (because of the pumping every 2 hours business), but I could see that dd's days and nights were sorting out once she wasn't super duper hungry (~3-4 weeks).

[HouseofWool]

I agree with what everyone has said. Sophie just wanted to snuggle all night long. Because you aren't willing to have J in bed with you, what about you dozing in a recliner or super comfy chair so you can get at least some sleep.

As for what Allison said, being hungry is definately part of it. If your milk isn't fully in yet, all of the nursing will serve to ramp up your supply. I felt like S lived attached to my boob for the first 2 weeks or so.

Hang in there MrsK. It does get easier and the first week sucks ass. You are exhausted, your hormones are out of whack, no matter how great he is, your DH CANNOT fully comprehend the turmoil you are in emotionally and physically.

[MrsK]

I think he's hungry. Take this with a grain of salt, but the reason dd did this the first few days was because she was starving.

Has your milk come in yet? Mine didn't until day 8, and if I hadn't supplemented with formula on day 6, none of us would have gotten any sleep ever.

Also, for us, once the eating thing was under control and she started to thrive, and I had started pumping with one of those industrial pumps (Medela Symphony), dd's sleeping was far more regular at night. Mine wasn't (because of the pumping every 2 hours business), but I could see that dd's days and nights were sorting out once she wasn't super duper hungry (~3-4 weeks).

My milk came in yesterday. Prior to that, we were nursing and supplementing with formula. He was still not sleeping. Now he's refusing the forumula and he's fussy at the breast. We see the peditrician today. I hope he is not sick!

[MrsK]

My milk came in yesterday. Prior to that, we were nursing and supplementing with formula. He was still not sleeping. Now he's refusing the forumula and he's fussy at the breast. We see the peditrician today. I hope he is not sick!

no matter how great he is, your DH CANNOT fully comprehend the turmoil you are in emotionally and physically.

DrK has been sleeping through baby's cries! This is the same man that jumps out of bed when he thinks he hears the dog throwing up. This morning, after taking the 4 - 8 am shift, I went into the bedroom where DrK was sleeping soundly and told him that he had to get out of bed and go comfort his son.

Right now, DrK is running errands. We need to shut down my office and I haven't even had time to put an away message on my e-mail. He was moving files to the basement this morning and is now at UPS sending files back to FL. He's just more comfortable doing those sorts of things so I've been giving him a running to-do list. Can't wait for my mom to get here so she can take a night shift too. Also, I'm hoping that maybe I can get out of the house and leave either mom or DrK with baby for a couple hours. I really need to get a sleep bra and breast pads. I cannot imagine what DrK or mom will bring home if I send them out to do that for me.

Baby is attached to my breast right now. He's been feeding for at least 20 minutes. He'll likely fall asleep at the breast and then wake up shreaking when I try to put him down. ILs (with their cameras) are expected in about 45 minutes and I haven't brushed my hair in two days.

[alison]

Dd refused regular formula because of lactose sensitivity. We switched to soy formula for a few days (then a lactose free formula).

I'm not saying that this is the way you must do things, but talk to your pediatrician. Until I was basically leaking from the spout, I was not producing enough milk for dd.

A big part of parenting is trial and error. And we did a LOT of error along the way. And a lot of crying on everyone's part. Hell, I still cry... The sleep thing is huge, especially if you aren't getting any. There's good and bad news. The bad news first: even at 3.5 months, you still won't be getting uninterrupted sleep. The good news: you learn to function.

[MrsK]

I am leaking at the spout. I can actually see my breasts filling and I'm engorged within an hour after he eats.

[alison]

ETA: after reading your last two posts.

STOP posting here, and go to safeway.com (or another grocery store) and place orders for groceries to be delivered to your house.

Go to diapers.com and order whatever you need. It'll be at your doorstep tomorrow.

STOP your dh from going out to run errands.

STOP whatever you're doing, throw screaming baby in the stroller, shove pacifier in his mouth, and go for a walk!!! Even 10 minutes. Clear your head.