is sleep unattainable?

[HouseofWool]

Ugh. Let me start by saying that I am freakin' exhausted. I have not slept well (consistanty) since Caleb got sick in September 2008. Yes - a year and a half of chronic sleep deprivation. Yipee!

Sophie is the main culprit. She is waking between 4:30 and 5:30 for the day. I am at my wits end. She is grouchy and ill-tempered all day long and isn't napping as well either. I have tried just about everything except CIO - I don't have the strength right now. She used to sleep until around 6-6:30 and then take a 2-3 hour nap around mid-day. Now, she is up before dawn and takes a 2 hour nap between 10-11. By the time bedtime rolls around she is in meltdown and I am completely frazzled.

Caleb's dad is supposed to come for a visit this weekend and C isn't sleeping because he is so anxious about it. He was awake from 3 until almost 5 this morning. I am confident that once the visit is done and things go back to normal his sleep will improve. I have been giving him 300mcg of meletonin at dinner time to help with bedtime. This is on the recommendation from my BIL the pharmacist.

Please tell me it will get better at some point.

[Urowife]

What time is bedtime? Have you tried putting her to bed earlier? I know it seems counterintuitive, but sometimes that can actually lead to them sleeping later.

But I'm not sure I'm qualified to give advice since my one-year-old still wakes up 4-5 times a night...

I'm sorry, Kris.

Just out of curiosity, what time does Sophie go to bed "for the night" (whatever her night is?). When I've had trouble with early wakes (thankfully nowhere near as early as Sophie, and always temporary), I've put them to bed earlier (1/2 hour increments) and it usually helps. Totally against what you'd think would work ... but it has.

Good luck!

[Pollyanna]

I'm sorry, Kris.

Just out of curiosity, what time does Sophie go to bed "for the night" (whatever her night is?). When I've had trouble with early wakes (thankfully nowhere near as early as Sophie, and always temporary), I've put them to bed earlier (1/2 hour increments) and it usually helps. Totally against what you'd think would work ... but it has.

Good luck!

We have done this too. It seems that the kiddos wake up earlier when they are overtired. An earlier bed time could be the trick for you. Our boys used to get up at 4:30 so I totally feel your pain. Hang in there, it will get better.

[spotty_dog]

I really like the book Sleepless in America, which focuses mostly on the sleep problems of young school aged kids, but has some good insight for the infant set as well. It's great to recognize things that could be causing the issues, like Caleb's anxiety, and to help them work through it.

How are Sophie's teeth? Natalie has been working on molars and canines for a few weeks now. The top two molars are through and I think the canines are right under the surface. Her lower gums are just a bulgy mess, no obvious teeth yet.

This *will* pass. I do believe that sleep is a milestone that kids reach at different rates but they all get there eventually.

With two... I'm sorry to give you the bad news... but, it might be a while before you get sleep. My mother swears that she didn't sleep from 1979 to 1990.

We have had a lot of success with the "on becoming baby wise" book. Its not for everyone. However, if you're at your wits end, and want to try it, let me know. I do not let my baby cry it out. However, I do the time thing. When he wakes up, I go in there without turning any lights on and without saying anything. You're not supposed to pick them up but I always do. I pick him up, hold him and sway for a few minutes and lay him back down. I go back to my room and sit there stairing at the clock. I wait 5 minutes before returning. Each time, I add 2 minutes. It will seem like the longest 5 minutes of your life but usually, he stopped crying during the 4th minute. Oh, I never let him cry longer than 15 minutes. So, if it is was particularly bad night, I would go 5 min, 7 min, 9 min, 11 min, 13 min, 15 min, 15 min. I have only done this once.

I would also like to add that when my son is sick, all bets are off. Its totally different to be waking during the night randomly or to be waking because you feel awful. If Rudy is sick and wakes up more than once, I take him and a big blanket to the reclining chair and I rock. I am actually pretty good at rocking in my sleep now! haha

Good luck! Sleep deprevation makes me crazy. Literally, I snap at everyone, feel horrible, cry... its not a good place to be. I'm sorry you're going through it.

Lacy

[HouseofWool]

Sophie is usually down for the night between 7:30 and 8. Depends on her mostly. When she is tired, I put her down. Tonight I will try not waiting quiet so long. But honestly, having her nap so early in the day (today it was 8:45 - she cashed out while I was driving to the Y - just one more reason to skip a workout that I don't really need to skip), she ready to go down for the night by about 6. She has no interest in taking a second nap and is completely miserable to be with for most of the afternoon. I honestly wish I worked she is such a crank.

[alison]

Oh man, Kris. I didn't realize it was that rough with getting the kiddos to bed -- and to stay there. I second the earlier bedtime. CIO takes a whole lotta energy, I would agree with you on that one. I'm still conflicted on it, because it worked great the first night we did it with dd a few nights ago. LAst night, she cried for an hour straight and really hard. In the middle of the night, dh went in to feed her, and... she had crusted up vomit all over her face, hair, down her back, all over her sheets, etc. I felt so guilty this morning. That sh*t isn't for me.

I hope an earlier bedtime helps you. I know a lady at the playground whose toddler is 21 months old, and his bedtime is 6pm. It seems early to me, but it works for him.

If she is ready to go down at 6, I would put her down then. My kids are usually both ready to go to bed around 6:30 which always seems too early, especially now that it gets darker later, but they tend to sleep in later if they go down then.

Our neighbors have a one week old and the mom told me the other day that she hoped to have the baby's sleep schedule figured out in the next couple of days. I tried to *gently* tell her that the whole sleep thing probably wouldn't be figured out in a week and even when they do get it figured out the baby will change it up on them, but she truly didn't believe me. I guess it's one of those things you have to live through to understand...

[Vishenka69]

I didn't expect the baby to be on schedule within first few weeks but am very hopeful for first few months. I definitely won't be in any control of my sanity after a year and a half. Hope things get back to normal and you get some sleep soon. Wish I had some advice for you but I'm way too new at this to have any.

[HouseofWool]

The good news is that she is taking a second nap today. She fell asleep in the car about 40 minutes ago. Woke briefly when I transfered her to her crib and is quiet so far. Hopefully this will be the end of this streak of good times.