3yo won't eat "messy" foods

DD#1 has always measured between the 5th & 10th percentiles for her weight. She's a twin, so I don't know if that makes a difference. They were born at term and just over 6 lbs each. She eats like a bird. DH decided to try to boost her appetite by bringing home oreos & doughnuts - poor nutrition, to be sure, but just trying to get her interested in some food.

Her comment - "I don't like these. They're too messy!"

Talk about mama guilt... with so many kids, I've been known to freak out about messes. So, I'm looking for ideas to get her 1) interested in food, and 2) not be so picky about messes.

Fingerpaints? Buttery mashed potatoes in a high chair? How do I do this without the messes getting so out of control that *I* go nuts? I'm not naturally a neat freak, but I have to manage messes so we maintain some sanity around here. We do have tile floors, thankfully. And a nice back deck. I want to make this FUN for her. The last thing I want is to make it a discipline/obedience issue or to make her think there's something wrong with her.

Ideas about good messy things to eat or do? (Oh, and remember this will be three toddlers. Equals three times the mess.)

[Meenah]

Oliver is 2 and also doesn't like messy foods! He will eat anything that I let him help prepare!!!! Of course that is easy for me because when I have him he is the only one.

[MrsK]

Some kids just don't like messes. I have one friend whose daughter refused to dive into her first birthday cake without a fork. Two years later, the same child striped naked at the county fair because she had a spot on her dress. My friend is the ultimate tomboy, loves to get messy, and would likely let her house fall down around her rather than clean.

[Deebs]

First - I'm going to throw out some suggestions. Not as another mom necessarily, but I was (before I left my career for mommyhood) a health educator, as well as health care administrator. So, your dilemma actually excites me a bit (sorry).
If she isn't falling off of her growth curve - I wouldn't be concerned, unless her pediatrician is. I say this as i have a 10 month old who is falling off her growth curve, which is where the concern lies. Also, is she keeping up cognitively and developmentally?
Then, I'd look at what is in her diet. Is she filling up on fluids? 3 year olds should only get 16-24 ounces of milk a day - many parents go overboard, and then kids don't eat. Do you still have her on whole milk (if she's underweight, it's okay to keep her on whole milk)? What about a high fat yogurt (like Yo Baby)? Avocados? Cheese? Peanut or another nut butter? Sweet potatoes (with brown sugar or butter if she needs the extra calories)? No necessarily neat, but not completely messy. There are foods that are high in calories and fats that will still get her the nutrients she needs, while bulking up. I get the fact of trying to get her interested in food, but often when junk food is available, that is what kids will choose, and they will cut out the healthy foods.

Some other ways to get her interested -
-have her help in meal prep. When my two year old has a peanut butter and jelly "sandwich", I put a glob of PB and one of jelly, give him a kids knife, and put it on a wheat tortilla (doesn't tear like bread does), and have him make his own PB&J rollup. He loves it, and it keeps him entertained.
-This works for my daughter - not my son - I sometimes give her food in a muffin tin - there are six compartments, so I'll fill each with something different - peas, grapes, cheese cubes, chicken pieces, rice, and pears, for example. She has to try one bit out of each section. She loves it!
-Make smoothies - last night my kids had chicken nuggets (they each only ate one) because they filled up on a smoothie of - 1 banana, an entire container of raw spinach, a cup or two of blueberries, raspberries, blackberries (mixed in the freezer section), yogurt, and milk. I don't know how I started them on mixing spinach in, but they love it, and I know that they get one good serving of a great veggie!
-Have a picnic - three is the age that my DD started getting really excited about eating away from the kitchen table (for a treat). Sometimes, we have one in the family room, front hall - it doesn't have to be outside
-Add dip. Kids generally love range, ketchup, honey, hummus. Face it, most adults love dip. Don't judge what she dips into what - kids have really funny tastes with this.

And, some kids just don't like to be messy. At age three, it's probably more of a sensory thing with the way that it feels than it is you raising her to not be messy.

After all this, I feel I should clarify - my kids do have their fare share of cookies, cupcakes, donuts, etc. We're definitely not perfect because real life gets in the way of all that.

DD#1 ate cherries as part of her breakfast with no complaints this morning. And DS#1 proved that he has NO problem making messes.

Wow, Deb, that's a gold mine of info! I'll try to answer your questions:

At DD's appt in April, the ped said she's following her growth curve ok, but if she dips below 5th percentile, we have a problem. Cognitively she seems advanced, motor skills are fine, but her pronunciation is slightly delayed (substitutes "d" for initial s, f, k, g sounds - getting better).

They're drinking whole milk, but definitely getting too much, if they're only supposed to have 16-24 oz per day! They're not going to like that change.

I do try to buy foods that are high in natural fats. (We really don't do a lot of junk food, normally.) We get the large Dannon plain yogurt (not low fat) and mix it with frozen berries & sometimes granola. We do chips & guac, lots of cheese, some pb. I haven't tried sweet potatoes. She eats little bits of these things, with a napkin close by.

The ideas for having them help/interact with food are GREAT! I don't like cooking, and my mom didn't have us help very much. I'm clumsy enough in the kitchen, so I don't often think of ways to have the kids help. They do like to shake spices onto food and cut bread with kiddie cookie cutters, but that's as far as it goes. We just need to make "cooking" a much bigger part of their day.

[Deebs]

I was thinking about this and remembered another thing my kids love: anything named "bar", as in pasta bar (I make 2-3 kinds of pasta, heat up 2-3 kinds of sauce, a couple kinds of cheese, put them all in bowls, and let them make their own), potato bar, taco bar, salad bar, etc. Basically, anything that has multiple pieces that can be mixed together becomes a bar, and it's apparently super exciting.

[DCJenn]

making your own pizza was the compelling thing for the dude- I bought the boboli single serving size pizza shells and the boboli brand sauce (MUCH sweeter than normal which is probably why he liked it) and he can decorate his pizza however he wants. (which is usually just turkey pepperoni and a pound of cheese)

Jenn

Awesome ideas! I'm off to the store this morning... adding to my grocery list.

Yesterday I tried letting them spread their own pb & j. They LOVED it! But hardly ate a bite. Ugh. I'm definitely trying some of the other ideas, though (muffin tins, pizza, bars). I'm sure they would positively love sipping smoothies, maybe as a substitute for their beloved milk.

This isn't food, but one of my girls who was pickier about messes was also afraid of things like sandboxes or helping me plant things in dirt, and so we worked on thoe types of things--- sort of the fun, positive feelings about being messy instead of just that it's bad, I guess. Maybe the kids want to help plant seeds and watch them grow, or mold sand castles with tupperware, things like that?

Also, maybe it's not as "messy" to her if she eats things with a spoon or fork instead of her hands... oreo crumbles sprinkled on yogurt or applesauce??

Good luck!

[Momo]

This should so be a sticky! GREAT ADVICE!